Luxuria
by nia-ox
Summary: Jasper and Bella are left alone for two days, and when the Cullens come back, Bella has to deal with the aftermath. Bella's POV, my first fan fiction.
1. Touch

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Twilight, unfortunately. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

**A.N. - This is my first fanfiction; so I could do with some constructive criticism – but just no flamers, please? Also, the first chapter is quite boring – it'll get better as the story goes on. By the way, I live in the UK, so there may be some spelling mistakes – i.e, 'colour' or 'realise'. Please review!**

I sat in the Cullens' spacious living room, thinking about the upcoming weekend. I didn't blame Jasper for Edward and the rest of the Cullens leaving, and he had a lot more control over his blood lust than Edward gave him credit for – so why was I absolutely petrified of being left alone with him for two days? I didn't have time to ponder further, as Edward was suddenly behind me, his cold arms snaking around my waist.

"We'll be back on Sunday morning, Bella. If you happen to need me at all, for anything, then give me a ring, Jasper will give you his cell, okay?" He was trying to be lighthearted, but his concern for me was plain on his face, and though I didn't want him to leave, his eyes were dangerously dark. I plastered a smile on my face, hoping that my lying skills were getting better.

"I'll be fine, Edward! I trust Jasper, and so does everyone else. We'll have some Jasper-Bella bonding time!" I laughed, though my attempt at sounding relaxed wasn't helped by my suddenly dry throat. He frowned, and I could tell he was pondering staying behind, so I continued, cutting him off. "I'll see you on Sunday morning, then, and I'll tell you all about it, okay? What time will you be back, roughly?" I had been trying to sound convincing, but, anticipating my edginess when he was gone, I would need a schedule, so I could start counting down the hours.

He laughed, and kissed my hair, his lips lingering while he inhaled my scent, as if to remember it while he was gone. Two days, I chanted in my head. Only two, very short days. "Around, 12 o clock, I think. At least, that's when we _should_ be back. Emmett and Rosalie usually hold us up, which is why we usually go on separate hunting trips..." He trailed off, seemingly in a world of his own. We sat in silence for a few minutes, a frown in place while he concentrated. It sometimes worried me that he was so far away when thinking, but I was content to look at him without him distracting me so that I could conjure up his image when I started missing him.

"EDWARD!" Emmett's booming call yanked him from his reverie and his eyes focused on my lips for a brief moment, before he kissed me and whispered that he'd be back in no time. "Get off Bella and get out here! We're all waiting!" Alice was in the doorway, suddenly, and I realized Jasper was hesitating by the bottom of the stairs. She ran to him, gracefully, and hugged him.

"Look after her, Jazz, and ring Edward if you need anything." She added something to him in a lower tone, that I didn't catch, and he seemed to relax a bit. As quick as she came, she had Edward by the arm, pulling him out of the front door and waving.

The door slammed shut, and I stared at it for a few moments, as I heard Emmett's jeep and Edward's Volvo race down the driveway. I became aware, that Jasper was still behind me, when I heard him cough, lightly. I spun around, and he smiled reservedly, though he didn't make a move to come anywhere closer to me.

"They won't be long, Bella." He seemed nervous, too. It clicked, then, that my nervousness was probably having an effect on him. I took a deep breath and smiled, beckoning him over to the couch.

"So then, Jasper, what're we going to do today?" He looked relieved that I was taking charge for a minute, and walked over to the couch at human speed. He sat down at the opposite end, distancing himself from me. "Any plans?" I pressed, shuffling up, trying to close the gap that was between us physically, and hoping to do this when it came to our relationship, too. He was the only one of the Cullens I had spent very little time with, even more so than Rosalie. She kept up her cold persona with me, even when we were on shopping trips with Alice, and I noticed them, even though Alice spoke enough for the both of us.

"Er, well...I don't know..." he began, laughing nervously. "I don't know much about you...so do you want to just, er, talk, for a while? We can watch movies or something in a bit?" He looked down at his watch, and I noted that he wasn't wearing long-sleeves today. His scars weren't visible to me, because they weren't under immediate light. I was glad of this; because his scars reminded me of James' attack on me, and I absentmindedly stroked my own crescent scar. "Are you hungry? Edward said you'd already had lunch but I'm not exactly sure about when you need to be fed again..." I cringed inwardly, at his unintentional quip. He was talking as if I was a rabbit he was looking after for a friend. I realized, hurt, that maybe that's what this was to him. How naïve was I being!? Jasper-Bella bonding time, I scoffed mentally. He was just looking after his brother's pet. I focused, again, and Jasper had moved a bit closer to me, sensing that I felt unwanted, I guess. "I'm not hungry, thanks." I smiled timidly, and he smiled back, relieved.

"Neither am I, Bella." He laughed. I wasn't sure whether he was manipulating my emotions, but I laughed with him, glad of his joke. It had broken into the tangible tension, and we started talking like old friends. At first, it was trivial, but as the seconds ticked by, I felt myself grow comfortable in his presence, as he did in mine, and we were talking about things with more meaning, and I was enthralled by everything he said, dazzled even. He made me laugh with quips about Alice and Edward, and in hysterics when he spoke of Emmett's antics. He was so easy to talk to – though there was something underlying it. Like, he was trying to impress me. I thought about that – trying to impress me? It wasn't rational, and yet the more he pushed for me to be at ease in his presence – without manipulating my emotions, the more I felt that he wanted be to be impressed by him.

Suddenly, Jasper's cell rang, and I jumped three foot in the air, shocked. He laughed, amused by my display.

"It's Alice." I motioned for him to go ahead, and he flipped his cell open, and held it to his ear. "Hello, Al." He covered the mouthpiece. "Actually, it's Edward." My heart skipped a beat at his name, and I looked at him expectantly. "Yes, I did ask her, and no I'm not – I went yesterday, you know that." He paused, listening to Edward's answer. "Just after you left. I am!" There was a hint of annoyance in his tone when he continued. "Why are you ringing so soon, anyway?" He listened to Edward, while I watched his reactions patiently. His eyes widened, and he looked down at his watch. "I'm so sorry, Edward, I will!" All traces of annoyance had gone, I could tell he was genuinely surprised. "We lost track of time, I guess." He paused momentarily. "Talking." I realized, as I looked at the clock that we had indeed lost track of time; we'd been talking for seven and a half hours! I reached over to turn on the light on the side table, as it was getting darker. Light seeped from the lamp, creating a hazy pink color to the room. "I won't forget next time, Edward. Do you want to talk to her?" I looked up, hopefully. He seemed filled with hope, too. Then his eyes darkened and his tone went flat. "Oh, no, not yet. I see." An irritated buzz came from the phone's speaker, and it was obvious Edward was laying into him. "It wasn't my idea! Well, there's no need to be...I'll tell her. Goodbye, Edward. Tell Alice I.." He stopped, abruptly, looking down at his phone. "Must have been, er, cut off." He told me, blatantly lying. I looked down.

"What did he want you to tell me?" I asked, worried. He looked down, swallowed and looked up at me. Before he started speaking, I could tell he was planning his answer.

"He said, to tell you," he paused, obviously searching for an answer. I glared at him, annoyed. He smirked, briefly, thinking that I wouldn't catch it. But I did; and it left me even more confused. What could Edward have said that Jasper didn't want me to know?! And, why would Jasper find it amusing?

"Don't try lying to me Jasper. I'm a big girl, whatever he said can't be that bad if it's making you laugh!" I was lying through my teeth, because the fact that Edward hadn't spoken to me was hurting me already. I knew Jasper felt my hurt, because his expression softened, and he reached out to me instinctively. He touched my arm, and what I felt when his skin touched mine was like an electric shock. I recoiled, as did Jasper. We sat there in silence, staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity, all thoughts of Edward forgotten. The electrical current surged through me, like that day in Biology class where I'd wanted to touch Edward so badly... This couldn't be the same thing with Jasper, though, could it? I knew he had felt it too, though, and noting his hands clenched into fists at his sides, I realized he must feel the need to touch me as I felt the need to touch him.

Jasper broke the silence, wary. "Are you hungry Bella?" I looked at him, caught off guard, thinking he was going to explain whatever I'd just felt. It registered, after Jasper had asked, that I _was_ hungry – though I hadn't noticed before. It was stupid, but I felt embarrassed telling him.

"I can feel your embarrassment." He smiled. "We've got pizza...D'you want me to heat it up?" Now it was my turn to smile, because it was obvious that Jasper, how ever hard he tried to seem at ease when talking about food, had no idea how to cook.

"No, I can do it, thanks Jasper." I got up from the couch, wondering whether Jasper would tell me what Edward wanted to tell me, and why an electrical current shuddered through me when I touched him. I was surprised, when I reached the kitchen to see that there was a large box on the counter; and there was a note on top. I turned to Jasper, who had followed me in.

"I'm sorry..." He looked embarrassed, though I had no idea why. "He was convinced that I'd get you to try it..." He trailed off, so I figured that maybe reading the note would explain his reluctance to tell me.

_BELLA! I see you've found my treat!_

I recognized the scrawling writing as Emmett's instantly. I smiled, and continued reading the note attached to his 'treat'.

_Or, this is Edward..._

_Please Eddie, don't take away Bella's special treat?_

I laughed, and Jasper looked hesitant. I carried on reading, surprised by what I saw.

_So, Bell, this is something Jasper and I picked up, _

_to see if we could actually get drunk._

_We can't though – you would think living for eternity_

_is enough, and then we can't get crazy drunk?_

_Well, you're my favourite human – so here you go._

_Nothing left to say, Bell, cause the idea's already in your head!_

_LOTS OF LUV, YOUR FAVOURITE EMMETT!_

He'd drawn a big smiley face and a bottle next to his closing sentence. I turned to Jasper, amused. He looked up at me hesitantly. "Sorry, Bella. I didn't think he'd really leave it here..." His voice quietened, until I could only hear mutters of "Manipulating you...didn't want to...so insistent...Edward...would kill me..." I laughed, and he looked up, confused. I smiled at him, and he returned it. "I'll move them back to the basement, now, Bella." But Emmett was right. The idea was in my head. I'd only ever had a little bit to drink sensibly – after all, I'd been busy being the parent in Renee's house when she was drinking and socializing, and the only bad run in I'd had with it was when I was looking for an escape when Renee wasn't looking. So the idea was in my head. Drinking sensibly...or not. It was two days, and Emmett's description of 'crazy drunk' meant there was a lot of alcohol in there...enough to last me two days, to blank out Edward's absence?

"No!" I cried, as Jasper picked up the box. "Leave it...I may want to try Emmett's way of thinking later on." I laughed, and Jasper laughed with me. He looked at me meaningfully, then, from under his thick lashes – and a thrill ran through me. Then, as quick as it had come, it was gone, because for the first time that night, I felt him manipulate my emotions. Sensibility ran through me, and I realized I was being somewhat reckless.

"Bella, it'll be your own downfall! Edward could find out...But I won't tell him straight out." He seemed to be really concerned for me. Then, with a mischievous look on his face, he stared at me and stopped manipulating my emotions. I felt my recklessness flood back to me, along with some of the thrill I'd had when Jasper had looked at me, and I knew what I wanted to do. I could be reckless, I could have fun...and if I was just a little under the influence, then spending time with Jasper would be easier, my senses dulled. I dropped the note from Emmett, and walked to the cabinet. By the time I'd turned around, Jasper had the pizza in the oven, and a bottle of vodka in his hand.

"I'm not drinking it neat, Jasper!" I cried, in mock horror. He laughed, and shook his head.

"I'll mix it now, Bella. Do you think I'm that irresponsible? I won't manipulate you!" He winked at me. I realized, Jasper had a fun side – and this was it. As he mixed the alcohol in with some other soft drink, I realized that I wasn't scared of him. In fact, I liked him a bit more than I really should.


	2. Almost

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Twilight, unfortunately. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

**A.N. - Please review...I don't want to be updating like an idiot if no-one's reading! Also, the first part of the chapter gets a bit intense, but I put it in as a filler, so you don't have to read it.**

"Bella, please, calm down!" Jasper pleaded with me. It was 9 o clock, and we'd been watching movies since 8, after I'd had my pizza. I was bouncing up and down dizzily, and the excitement that was radiating off me was effecting Jasper greatly. Jasper and I had drunk two bottles of alcohol between us, mixed with a soft drink, and it was definitely having an effect on me. I didn't know why he was drinking it; after all, the note from Emmett had said it was impossible for vampires to get drunk, and it would probably make him extremely uncomfortable to be drinking anything other than blood. _Mental note_, I thought. _Don't think about Jasper drinking blood, because it may make his blood lust get uncontrollable_. It occurred to me that he was drinking it to keep me company, though I'd drunk most of the alcohol. I was being sensible, obviously – I'd had the very clever thought of not thinking about blood, right? - but I was feeling slightly tipsy. 

"Come on Jasper! You can't tell me to calm down, you're the one who I'm having so much fun with, remember?" His expression softened at this, and he smiled. I stood up, giddily, waddled to the TV and turned the volume up on the set. I'd lost the remote a lifetime ago, though Jasper probably knew where it was. I looked at Jasper, when I turned around, and felt myself melting in his eyes...I shook my head vigorously, toppling over a little, shaking out the bad thoughts. _Edward_ was my life, my soul, my partner, my other half for all of eternity...even though it sounded very hokey to me at that point. I reached out for my glass on the coffee table, and tried to sip elegantly, proving that I wasn't drunk in the slightest. I failed, as I gulped down the remainder of the drink, the sweet yet sharp taste making my taste buds tingle.

"Bella!" Jasper scolded me, jokingly. "That's your fifth glass! I know it's weak, but it's still alcohol." I ignored him, laughing. I was having fun – just like you were meant to with friends. Jasper, my _friend. _ I toppled into him, feeling dizzy. "WHOA Bella, calm!" He laughed, and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, steadying me. My mind twisted the action. Jasper, my _boyfriend._

Maybe the alcohol was having more of an effect on me than I'd originally thought. I realized that I'd been fourteen when I'd had my first large run in with alcohol. I decided to think about that, rather than the good looking muscly vampire that sat next to me. I was fourteen, and Renee was having a party. "Just a small gathering of friends, Bells!" She'd brushed it off. But the apartment was full, when the entire guest list had appeared, and various alcohol potions were left hanging around. I'd done my homework, watched Renee's friends dance and drink and now I was left clearing up, at 4 in the morning, as the guests flitted away slowly, going home to their own apartments. Maybe even their own children. Renee was out cold on the sofa, and I bent down beside her, admiring her beautiful face, though she didn't look at her best at that point in time. She was covered in a sheen of sweat, and most of her makeup had run from her face. The eyeliner I'd handed her that she'd outlined her eyes with was smudged, giving her panda eyes. She looked a mess, though still stunning. When she'd been awake, though, she was having so much fun, socializing and drinking. Drinking – I thought the word over and over, at every party my mother had. As more bodies crawled out of the front door, I turned my head to the kitchen. There was a lot of alcohol left. I didn't have school the next day, for the next few weeks, in fact. I straightened up, and smoothed down my clothes. The music that I'd left running, after turning the volume down, now played rebellious notes. I opened the drawer and pulled out a bottle opener, and opened a blue bottle. I sipped at it nervously, until I realized I liked it. I drank it, gulping it down. Renee wouldn't know. Charlie wouldn't know. It would be my secret, my rebellion for the night. I drank bottle after bottle, slumped against the kitchen cabinet. I watched Renee tossing and turning in her alcohol induced slumber, and I knew it wasn't fair. She was my best friend, which was what I needed. But I needed a mother too. I tried to push the idea away, but I knew it already, for I had pondered it over and over, when looking after her. I was fourteen, and I was looking after my mother, who should really be looking after me. I shook the idea from my head, trying to forget it. I didn't like that night, or the morning after. 

I tried to distract myself, so I turned my head, and looked at Jasper. He was watching the movie intently. He couldn't have been watching it properly, but it gave me a chance to look at him. My alcohol induced stupor had me thinking things I really shouldn't be thinking. Jasper was unbelievably good looking. His eyes were liquid gold, focused on the screen, the bright pictures reflected in their surface. He was very muscly, and his choice to wear a short sleeved shirt showed this off incredibly, and I didn't mind that his arms were in full view, as the hazy lighting made it quite difficult to focus on anything as small as a pattern of scars. His blond hair fell over his eyes, and he shook it away. The movement, though subtle, shook me, and I toppled straight into him, collapsing with my head in his lap. 

"I knew it wouldn't take long for you to fall over!" He laughed, and I felt him shaking underneath me. I shifted, so that I was looking up to his face. 

"You can't fall over when you're sitting, Jasper!" I giggled. The words wouldn't come out right, making me feel very out of control. I looked at Jasper's lips, the corners turned up in a dazzling half smile. "Don't laugh at me, Jazzy!" I pulled myself up, into his arms, resting my head against his chest. 

"Did you just call me Jazzy?" He asked, incredulous. I realized this was Alice's pet name for him, and tried to backtrack. I didn't want him to think that I was trying to be like his wife. _But Jazzy is your boyfriend, silly! _ My mind added, making me more confused. 

"No, no, no, Jazzy, I didn't call you Jazzy!" Oh. "Crap! I did it again, didn't I Jazzy?!" He laughed, but I couldn't see his expression. I realized I was probably making him uncomfortable, so I pulled myself off his muscular chest, as much as I disliked doing it, and put my hands on his shoulders. I was inches from his face, and he could probably smell the alcohol on my breath, but I didn't care. "Jasper," I forced the elongated word out of my mouth, making sure that I didn't call him Jazzy again. 

"You can call me Jazzy if you _want_ to, Bells." He whispered. The scent of his cool breath momentarily disorientated me, and I struggled to focus. His face was so close and it would only take the tiniest movement to near myself to him and kiss him on the lips... I mentally slapped myself. Hadn't I just been trying to stop myself from making him uncomfortable? I needed to tell him that I was feeling things I shouldn't thanks to the alcohol I'd consumed, and he'd understand, and make sure I didn't step out of line. Then he could take me up to his room...NO! He would take me up to _Edward's_ room, and we'd go our separate ways. I realized I hadn't been close to him like this physically ever before, and it was probably making his blood lust far worse than it usually was. 

"Jazzy," I started again, "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and maybe it's just the alcohol talking, but tonight I'm feeling things I shouldn't..." He cut me off, resting his forehead against mine. I couldn't believe I was so _close_ to him. I could kiss him, _right now _if I wanted to! And God, did I want to. But he started talking, so I listened, hanging on his every word.

"Bella, I _know _what you've been feeling," Ah. Didn't think of that. How stupid of me, the godlike empath in front of me would have obviously noticed the lust radiating from me. He continued, and I expected the worst. He'd shout, and send me up to Edward's room like a child. I'd come way too close to him, and I should be ashamed, mentally cheating on Edward and betraying my best friend! What kind of monster was I? But, his silken voice continued in a gentle whisper, "I'm not drunk, and I feel the same way about you." He let this sink in, as I stared into his golden eyes. I took a deep breath, ready to tell him that it must be _my _ emotions manipulating _his_, because he loved Alice, and I loved Edward. But all I wanted right now was to kiss him, and the rest didn't matter. "Bella, please," he looked at me, begging. I didn't know what he wanted. For me to stop thinking about him, for me to move away...or for me to kiss him?

"It's my emotions manipulating yours, Jazzy. You couldn't possibly feel the same way for me, you absurdly delicious god like creature! Why would you?!" The realization of what I'd just let slip sunk in, and I pulled back from him, clapping my hands over my mouth. Bella, clumsy, I could identify with. Bella, danger magnet, I agreed with. Bella, slurring her words after having to much to drink, I'd come to expect as the night continued. But the Bella who let humongous things slip like the adjectives she was using mentally to identify her boyfriend's divine brother, I was not used to. 

I waited for Jasper to laugh, to tell me that I was right. He _was_ a god, and he didn't want to be near the likes of me. I slipped off his lap, and sat next to him, ashamed. I couldn't look at him, because I could feel his eyes smoldering, penetrating me. Then, suddenly, I felt overpowering lust, and I whipped my head around to face him. 

"Bella, I feel exactly what you feel. And I want to _do _exactly what you want to do." I took a sharp breath, and I inched closer to him. His arms snaked around my waist, pulling me closer. I was elated; about to kiss the Adonis before me...I looked at his lips, filled with longing, lust... His lips brushed against mine for a fraction of a second, not giving me chance to even feel them properly, before they were gone.

A sharp beeping sound filled my ears, and I realized Jasper's cell was ringing. He reached over to it, sighing, and I huddled up against him, as we both read the name that was flashing on the front screen of his silver cell. I looked at him in terror, and I saw the same emotion in his gold eyes, when we read the Caller ID.

_Edward._

_**REVIEW, PLEASE!**_


	3. Distrust

**Disclaimer, as always: I don't own anything to do with Twilight, it's all the amazing Stephenie Meyer's. **

**AN – Thank you, everyone who reviewed! I reply to those asking a question, etc; but I'm absolutely ecstatic that people reviewed. Though, 9 of you added the story to your alerts list and didn't review :( Please review, next time? :) And also, I realized that I hadn't said that Edward is Bella's fiance, in this. So I'll add it in now, and correct the rest later! Also, I have uploaded chapter 4, but it isn't showing up with everyone. If it isn't working with you, then in the address bar, change this part of the URL - **4150060/3/Luxuria to 4150060/4/Luxuria - **if that doesn't work, PM me!**

_Edward_

The Caller ID flashed, over and over, but the shrill beeping was muffled by an even louder sound. As I looked at Jasper, a roar of blood rushed through my ears, and my heart beat nineteen to the dozen. It wasn't lust this time, though. It was guilt. I whispered, unable to hear myself over the cacophony in my ears.

"Are you going to answer it, Jazzy?" I felt completely sober now. What had I been thinking? It felt so right, being so close to Jasper...and it still did, with his muscular leg pressed up against mine in the low-lit room. I'd never had a chance to touch him properly, this was uncharted territory, somewhere a human had never been before. I knew now, why lust came under the name one of the seven deadly sins. I shouldn't be feeling this for Jasper. Edward would be heartbroken, as would Alice. This would be worse than how much I'd hurt Edward by kissing Jacob. I threw Jacob's name out of my head. I hadn't seen him in weeks. I had to focus on the matter at hand. Jasper took a deep breath, and looked at me. I knew I'd have to face up to whatever Edward knew at some point, however he knew it._ ALICE_! Why didn't I think of Alice? She'd have had a vision, Edward would have seen it in her mind, and now Edward's ringing because my best friend is distraught and he's falling apart knowing that his brother and his fiancée were about to kiss on the couch in his home, where Alice had kissed Jasper, and Edward had kissed me a thousand times over.

"Answer it." I told him. Jasper looked incredulous, as if I was crazy. "Put him on speaker phone, I want to hear." He still looked reluctant, and looking him straight in the eye, trying not to get mesmerized by the golden pools, I whispered, "We have to face up to it, Jazzy." Jasper nodded, and flipped open his cell. The blood rush had left my ears now, and the shrill beeping continued. He answered the call, and pressed the options menu, flicking down until Speaker Phone was active.

"I want to speak to Bella, Jasper. Now." Edward's menacing tone caught me off guard, unusually harsh, protruding from the speaker of the tiny instrument. Why would he want to speak to me?

"Why?" Jasper sounded afraid, and I noted that I'd only ever seen him afraid once before – when talking about the newborn armies. It let me know something he didn't need to say: Edward's wrath was worse than that of a hundred of Victoria, worse than a thousand new born vampires. I shuddered.

"Put her on, Jasper, now." His tone was slightly calmer, but I could hear the anger underneath it, as could Jasper.

"I can't, now Edward...she's had a little bit of alcohol and I'm not sure..."

"I KNEW IT!" Edward shouted, and I covered my ears, as the speaker crackled from the volume of it. "You said you wouldn't give her any, Jasper! How bad is she!?" He gulped, and looked at me. But it seemed, so far that Edward had no idea what Jasper and I had been up to, which meant he was either leaving best until last, or Alice hadn't seen it. Yet. We needed to know, though, if she had seen anything and alerted Edward. Jasper pushed further,

"She hasn't had too much, Ed. Emmett put the idea in her head, anyway. She's just had a bit too much to talk to you sensibly." He paused, guilt rolling off him in waves. Emmett would experience the brunt of Edward's anger, now. Though, Edward sighed, seeming mollified, knowing that I wasn't 'crazy drunk'. Or was I?! I'd just tried to kiss my fiance's brother, and my best friend's husband! "Didn't Alice have any visions?" Jasper asked, warily, prodding further.

Edward sighed, but continued. "No, she hasn't." I leapt in joy, and Jasper covered his mouth to refrain from shouting. Edward sounded exasperated. "There are wolves here, somehow. It's rendered her blind, and she's extremely uncomfortable." Joy turned to horror, as we both realized the danger that our family was in. Wolves could kill them. "I think, we're safe though. We haven't come across them, as of yet." Jasper sighed in relief, but all of a sudden, his eyes held horror.

"Does that mean you're coming home!?" The thought shook me, and I tried to breathe evenly, in case I alerted Edward. Jasper looked at me, and squeezed my hand. I realized that we'd been grasping each other's hands since Edward had rung him.

"No, we're not coming home. We're just moving further away – but we won't be back for 3 days, now, instead of two." Two emotions hit me at once. Happiness- I'd have an extra day with Jasper, and it was obvious this excited him too. But then, horror, as I realized Alice would be able to have visions again. She'd see us doing...whatever we would do. "Don't worry, though." Edward continued. "She's been deliberately avoiding visions containing you and Bella. She's actually been focusing on who'll go into the drive through at McDonald's next." He laughed, as did Jasper. "She doesn't want to disturb you two – so you can have some bonding time." Jasper looked at me, and kissed my cheek briefly. I giggled, and realized that I would be with Jasper all alone, until Monday. I moved forward, to kiss him properly, like I had been waiting to do all night, when I realized Edward was still on the phone. "Why can't I hear Bella, anyway?!" He had definitely just caught on to the massive flaw that we hadn't seen before in our plan.

"What do you mean?" Jasper stammered, realizing that Edward would definitely want to speak to me, because I wasn't making enough noise to cover that I had had too much to drink.

"Well, you know, Jazz, if she was _that_ drunk, I'm sure she'd be making a lot of noise. Put her on, please?" Even I could hear the pleading in his voice, and I nodded to Jasper.

"'llo Edward!" I knew I was slurring, a bit, despite my sober thoughts, so I played it up a little. I could hear Edward's smile through his voice, and it elated me.

"Hi, Bella, how are you doing darling?" He seemed jokingly concerned, and I knew then that he must have me on speaker phone for the entire family to hear.

"WELL," I continued in an overly loud voice, "Emmett's way of thinking is brillllllliant, my darlinggg Edwardo!" Jasper stifled a laugh, as he realized my plan. Edward wouldn't want to speak to me if he thought I was incredibly drunk, and we would avoid unwanted questions. Emmett's booming laugh came over the speaker, as he shrieked,

"Edwardo, Edwardo! That's a new one!" Jasper laughed, as he tucked his arms behind me, pulling me onto his lap. Edward let out a laugh, and then announced that Alice would be taking over the phone, for a minute.

"Jazzy, are you there?" I felt Jasper tense, his arms tightening around me. He coughed, and made a show of moving the phone.

"Yes, Al, I'm here." Only Alice could be heard, and I knew we weren't on speaker phone anymore. "How are things?"

"It's all okay, apart from my loss of vision. I know everything's okay with you, though, Jazzy. I trust you. We all trust you." Jasper was incredibly tense, and I was starting to feel guilty, so I knew that he was unintentionally manipulating my emotions. "I love you so much, Jazzy. Look after Bella. I won't intrude on anything, I promise. Edward wants to talk now, so can you put Bella on? I love you." Jasper's answering "I love you" came out croaky and mangled, but Alice didn't seem to notice. On top of his guilt, there was mine too, as we both drowned in our mutual shame. Edward's voice coming over the phone made me feel worse, and I stifled a sob.

"Bella, I know you won't remember this in the morning," he began, chuckling. "But I love you so much, and I know it'll be three days before I see you – the longest of my life, probably – but I want you to know that I love you more than you could ever imagine, and I'm missing you so very much. Sleep well tonight my darling Bella." I whispered back, hoarsely,

"I love you too, Edward." The call cut off, and Jasper flicked the phone shut. I pulled myself from his embrace, and stood up, wobbling. "I better get to bed, it's er, getting late." Jasper nodded, looking down. It was merely ten o clock, but I couldn't risk anything else happening. I couldn't risk the moisture in my eyes brimming over in Jasper's view, either. I walked slowly to the stairs, and up them. I didn't want to alert Jasper to the hysteria that I was trying to push back down my throat. Once I was out of sight, I ran, stumbling and blind up the last flight of stairs until I reached Edward's room. I let the door swing shut behind me, and not caring to lock it, I pulled my shirt over my head, and tugged my jeans off. I left them in a pile on the floor, shrinking into Edward's bed. I wrapped the sheets around me, shuddering and sobbing. I'd slept in Edward's bed with just my underwear on before, when he'd been gone, but I couldn't get warm tonight, as the bed trembled underneath me from my coughing sobs. Every time I was here, missing him terribly, I'd never been bothered to get ready for bed properly. But on top of missing him tonight, I had a fresh seasoning of guilt cutting into my soul. I lay there for an hour, sobbing uncontrollably, and then I heard the door open. I looked up to see Jasper, as he walked in, pulling his shirt off, and throwing it into my pile of clothes at the bottom of the bed. He opened the covers, and shrunk under them, wrapping his arms around me. I turned to face him, and he pulled me closer.

**Review, please.**


	4. Sin

**Disclaimer – Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I own nothing and I make no profit from this story etc.**

**A.N. - PLEASE READ. I'm going on holiday on Thursday; yay! But this means that you won't get any updates for a week. **

**So, I'm giving you an extra chapter today, maybe even a third - because I am incredibly bored, and kind ;) It's pretty short, but it serves a purpose – I knew that if I didn't write what had happened while they were in bed together as a chapter, that people would be confused as to what they had done together.**

**There'll be an extra long chapter on Tuesday, if I can manage it. Again, please review – I won't carry on writing if you don't :(**

I lay in bed with Jasper, contemplating. My tears had subsided hours ago, but I couldn't get to sleep.

It was a month until my wedding, and I was in bed with another man. Well, to use the term man loosely, but still. It was worse than being in bed with another man, because this was my fiance's brother. Worse than all of this, I was enjoying it. I liked the fact that his cold and toned chest was pressed up against mine. I liked the fact that I was wearing barely anything, and that if I wanted him to, Jasper would be wearing even less. I liked the fact that this could lead anywhere, I liked the fact that this was wrong, however right it felt. I remembered the rush I'd felt when Edward had been gone and I was doing something bad. I'd originally labeled the rush as what I'd felt from hearing his voice; but I realized now that that wasn't what made my blood rush and my heart beat faster, and what elated me. It was because I was being _bad_. I remembered the feeling from when I'd gone against Renee's will, against Charlie's will, and against Edward's. And I felt it now – the rush that being so bad was giving me. I was in bed with another man, scantily clad and lust filled. Edward constantly said he was a monster, but he wasn't – I was. I enjoyed doing things that would inevitably hurt him and my best friend. It gave me a rush.

I pressed myself closer to Jasper, wrapping my legs around him. He took a sharp intake of breath, but said nothing. His hands untangled themselves from my hair, and he pushed them down my back, sending my senses into the fire, as lust engulfed me. I pulled him tighter to me, and smoothed my hands over the contours of his chest. He turned sharply to the side, pulling me on top of him in a fierce embrace. I nearly laughed – how many of the Cullen men would I be on top of in Edward's bed? I was burning all over, on fire – though it was good – as Jasper's cold hands traced the curves of my body. He pressed his freezing lips to my overheated neck, and I burst into flames.

I remembered Jack, a guy in Phoenix reciting Cathedral lyrics to me, and myself being confused. But I knew what they meant now, as I recited them in my own head, not in the correct order but my brain rearranging them, to make their meaning so obvious. _ "Cold sin and fire, Insane visions of beauty, burning wrath and anger. Hair and eyes limbs and faces, bending hard in fierce embraces. Oh sweet sanctity, -hell is pouring over me." _

I was destined for hell, truly. But the lust crippling me now made me uncaring. All I wanted was to be one with Jasper. He was being visibly affected by my overpowering lust, as he touched me in places Edward hadn't even seen.

Then, the feeling was lost, as we realized where this was heading, and what it meant. Jasper pulled his lips from my neck, and pressed them against mine. I felt his stone cold lips pouring every inch of lust they had into me, ridding him of the tortuous emotion. Mine accepted them gladly, burning with desire despite the chill his solid lips put over me. He rolled us back to ours sides, not breaking the kiss, and curved his hands around my thighs, untangling himself from my legs. He ran his hands up them, stopping when it came to the most heated part of me, and continued up to my hips, past my breasts, and up into my hair, one hand resting on my neck, and the other resting on my overheated cheek. He deepened the kiss for a few minutes, but I knew not to tangle myself up in him any more, because I knew what was coming. There was urgency and want wrapped up in this kiss, which meant only one thing. He was going to _leave_. The hand resting on my cheek pushed my face away from his gently. I opened my eyes, and looked at his. There wasn't enough light in the room to see their colour- whether they were black or gold. He kissed me briefly, and then got out of the bed. I grabbed his hand in the darkness, pulling him back.

"Please, Jasper, don't go." I was pleading, but I knew he wouldn't yield. He shook his head , not firmly as I had expected, but in sorrow.

"I can't, Bella, I just can't." I could hear the pain in his voice. He'd poured his lust into me, and now he was thinking straight. He knew that it was wrong, too. But he cared more than I did. He kissed my hair, as I clung to him. "Get to sleep, Bella, you're going to need it." He picked up his shirt and pulled it on. He stood in the doorway for a minute, hesitating; warring with himself – to leave or to stay? The light from the hallway framed his body, and he looked like more of an angel. I let out a pitiful whimper, and it was decided, for him. He took one last look at me, and turned away, walking back down the corridor to the stairs.

"Come back!" I pleaded, before falling into a restless sleep. He might have come back at some point in the night, but I wasn't sure whether the cold arms around me were really there, or just part of a dream.

**The song I used was Grim Luxuria by Cathedral. It's not the sort of music I usually listen to, but when Googling Luxuria, it's what came up. I may post another chapter, later.**


	5. Mistakes

**Disclaimer – Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I own nothing and I make no profit from this story etc.**

**A.N. - PLEASE READ.I'm going on holiday on Thursday; yay! But this means that you won't get any updates for a week. So, I've given you 3 chapters today! There'll be an extra long one on Tuesday, if I can manage it. Again, please review – I won't carry on writing if you don't :(**

I woke up at 11 the next morning, groggy. Then, someone dropped a ton of bricks on my head. I groaned, and started flailing my arms, trying to rid myself of the pain. "Jasper!" I called out, realizing that while flailing my arms, that I would have hit him, had he been in the bed. Which meant that he probably _hadn't _ come back. In seconds, Jasper was at Edward's open door. "My head hurts, Jazz. A LOT!" I groaned. I closed my eyes again, the pain becoming worse the more I regained consciousness. I couldn't think of anything else, not the fact that I was attracted to Jasper, or the fact that I'd been on the brink of betraying Edward terribly last night – more than I already had. My first hangover had been worse than this, but that was a while ago and I wasn't prepared - this hurt more than I'd anticipated. Jasper walked over to the bed, and put his cold hand on my forehead. I felt cool drops of water run across my cheeks. The pain subsided momentarily from the chill his hands brought. I opened my eyes to see a dripping wet Jasper...in nothing but a towel. My heart skipped a beat, and I knew that he'd heard it, as he chuckled.

"Sorry," he laughed. "I just came out of the shower, so I'm still a bit wet." I wasn't going to complain. All the guilt that had surrounded me the night before was gone. Jasper seemed perfectly at ease, too. "Emmett left a bottle of 'Hardy's Hangover Cure' downstairs. He knew you'd cave." He chuckled, but I couldn't focus on his face. His body was absolutely magnificent, I thought, as I took in his snow white skin. The fact that I was still a virgin and that until I married Edward, he intended for me to stay that way was really beginning to irk me, as I oggled Jasper.. I loved Edward, but Jasper was more outgoing than him...and I liked that. If it wasn't for that stupid blood lust, then Jasper could take me right now...But I knew I couldn't indulge in my fantasies. Jasper smiled at me then, as if he knew I was holding back. "Come on Bells, let's go downstairs. There's a hangover cure with your name on it." He threw the covers off me, and hauled me out of bed. He paused for a second as I stood, shaking off the head rush, my head spinning. When my eyesight focused again, I could see him staring at me. I looked down at myself, and realized for the first time that I had _very_ little clothing on. I blushed, and the rush of blood fueling the redness in my cheeks turned Jasper's eyes black. I stepped backwards, in horror, but he had already shook it off. He smiled reassuringly, the gold pools back in place, and carried on as if nothing had happened. "You can borrow one of my shirts, Bells." He took me by the hand and I felt electricity running through my fingertips as he pulled me down the stairs, and into his and Alice's room. He opened the doors to the huge closet that contained Alice's clothes, and turned to a small rack in the back- I noted this was the only one in the entire closet filled with men's clothes – and he threw a blue shirt out to me. "I'm gonna go change...stay in here, okay? You can have a look at Alice's clothes, or something. I won't be a minute." He dashed out to change, and I stood in the vast closet. I looked through the racks absentmindedly, trying to distract myself from the rack containing two garments: my wedding dress, and Alice's maid of honor dress. I didn't want to be reminded of my upcoming wedding, or the fact that I was betraying my husband to be and my best friend.

Jasper waltzed back into the room, a few minutes later, and took my hand. I giggled as he tugged me down the stairs, my headache completely forgotten. When we reached the kitchen, I saw the hangover cure on the table. I picked it up, and studied the front label. 'Hardy's Hangover Cure – aniseed flavor'. I nearly gagged - I despised aniseed! I turned to Jasper, as he let go of my hand and lifted me up onto the seat by the table, and said,

"You know what, Jazz? I'm feeling great, now. I don't think I need the hangover cure..." I prayed he wouldn't catch on, and that he'd think I was fine and I didn't need any stupid cure, but he saw through my facade straight away. He scoffed, incredulous.

"Edward told me you don't like aniseed, Bella. Do you think I'd believe that 'I don't need any hangover cure' joke?" He laughed again, while I looked at him in shock. I had _never_ told Edward about my dislike of aniseed – it would have led to me telling him about the fateful summer in Forks with Charlie when I was 11 years old. I shuddered, remembering. Then again, most people didn't like aniseed, right? He could have been guessing? I doubted it, greatly. Jasper continued, "Or, rather, _Charlie_ told Edward." Now I was baffled – why would Charlie do that to me? It was obvious that he would remember it, it was a pretty hard incident to blank out – which I knew from experience. I knew he would remember it – as Billy Black would, but why on earth would he tell Edward?! "Then again..." Jasper started laughing, sending out a wave of mirth until I was laughing with him. He stopped, then, and whatever humor I had seen in the situation evaporated, leaving me feeling confused and somewhat angry again. "Edward may have heard Charlie thinking about a certain summer..." Jasper continued briefly, before doubling up again. I had frozen, though. WHY did Edward have to be a mind reader!? Jasper was adamant that I'd be taking this aniseed now; he would want to see what would happen. "Open wide, Bells!" he said, through his mirth, while shoveling two spoonfuls into my mouth at vampire speed, giving me no chance to back away. The taste burnt my tongue, and I gagged. Jasper started laughing uncontrollably, sending out another wave of glee, and I was stuck between gagging in disgust and laughing at myself. It was quite a predicament, and through the fake emotion and disgust, I was incredibly unamused. Jasper suddenly dashed from the room, and I could hear him laughing in the lounge, uncontrollably. But, in the kitchen, I still had a mouthful of the horrid stuff. I spat it out in the sink, and stuck my head under the faucet, drinking in the cool liquid. The next thing I knew, Jasper's hands were around my waist, his cool skin burning mine everywhere it touched. He spun me around, and I laughed, dizzy. He looked at me seriously.

"Bella, you _have_ to drink it. It'll make your hangover better, trust me." He threw a wave of trust at me, and I nearly buckled. But I couldn't – I was having too much fun being in Jasper's arms in such close proximity. I looked up at him from under my lashes, testing out my abilities once again – it had worked on Jacob that time on the beach, but would it work on Jasper?

"Please, Jasper." I batted my eyelashes, and he melted. He was so close to me, and I could feel every muscle in his body, as our lips met. I rejoiced, snaking my arms up around his neck, and into his hair. He deepened the kiss, like the night before. Though I'd already experienced it, if felt like it was uncharted territory, and lust built up in me, while I felt every curve of his body fitting mine perfectly as he pressed into me. His glacial hands pushed up my thighs, and under the loose fitting shirt I was wearing. Everywhere he touched me, my skin burned up, sultry and passion-filled. Lust overpowered me, and it seemed to do the same to him, as his tongue met mine. I was more in control than I was when I kissed Edward, and I never had to break off for air, as I breathed through my nose, wanting to stay attached to Jasper's luscious lips. I wasn't sure how long we'd been kissing, as he pressed up against me, my back pushing into the kitchen counter, but I knew it had to stop soon - I could tell Jasper's resolve was slipping. His chest wasn't moving as he held his breath, from the strain of the blood lust. I removed my hands from his hair reluctantly, and from around his neck, and pushed myself back against the counter. Jasper's eyes were still closed, and he wasn't breathing. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, and I knew it was hard for him to resist. I tried to slip from under his arms, giving him space, but he stopped me, quick as lightning. He must be testing himself, I thought. I moved myself back to my earlier position in front of him. He opened his eyes slowly, and I saw they were black. I took a sharp breath, in horror. Jasper was centimeters away from me, and hungry. He bent his head, and I stood still, frozen in shock. He pressed his lips to my neck, and I waited, horrified, for the sharp pain of teeth cutting through flesh.

**Review or I won't post the next chapter until _AFTER_ I come home from my holiday :D **


	6. Protected and Unprotected

**Disclaimer – I don't own anything, it's all Stephenie Meyers, that amazing genius of a woman!**

**A.N. - Here's your extra long chapter! I won't be updating until Friday 4th of April, after now. I may be able to update the day before – Thursday the 3rd of April, but I'm not sure. So, here's your extra long chapter. So, review, Please.**

_He pressed his lips to my neck, and I waited, horrified, for the sharp pain of teeth cutting through flesh. _But it never came. Jasper felt my tense body underneath his, as he trailed kisses up my neck, across my jawline, and then to my lips. I couldn't kiss him back. The realization of danger was sinking in, and I was in shock. Jasper pulled away, though his stone cold body still had my warm one pressed up against the white kitchen counter. An eternity passed as I watched Jasper's eyes, eventually starting to change their color.

"You thought I was going to bite you, didn't you." Jasper sighed, looking me in the eye. His eyes hadn't fully returned to their normal color, I noted. I shook involuntarily, and I thought about lying to him, but I knew I couldn't.

"Yes." I breathed, watching him take this in, and he hung his head in shame. No! That wasn't how it was meant to happen, it wasn't his fault! I put my finger under his chin and pushed his head up to face me. "It was just the color of your eyes, Jazz. I do trust you, it's just that you caught me off guard." I hoped he'd be mollified, but he clearly wasn't.

"Bella, I thought you trusted me." I cut him off, with a screech of protest, "I really do trust you, of course I do Jazz! I trust you even without your emotion manipulation, and that's saying something!" I tried to inject humor into the situation, but he didn't smile. "PLEASE, Jasper! I was caught off guard, please Jasper, believe me!" But he ignored my outburst and continued.

"This isn't right, Bells, it really isn't." He ran his hand through his hair, and carried on, "You don't understand the thirst Bella. You think that it's just a little tingly feeling telling me to bite you. But it's not!" He roared, and I cowered back, terrified by his outburst. He pressed up closer to me, and I was sure, this time, that he was going to bite me. His eyes were darker than I'd ever seen – darker than his before, and darker than Edward's on that first day when we met.

"When I touch you, I can _feel_ every vein running under your skin, and the blood running through them. When you blush, I can _hear _ the blood rushing under your skin. When I look at your chest, I can _see_ every blue vein protruding from your pale skin, leading to your heart. When I kiss you," he paused. I wasn't sure whether it was for dramatic effect, to make me realize the danger, or whether he wasn't sure if he should continue. I must have been radiating fear as he continued in a whisper, his tone menacing. "And when I kiss you, I can feel the blood rushing under your skin, up to your lips to meet mine, teasing my instinct. My _entire_ being screams at me to kill you, even when I'm standing a meter away from you. Imagine what it's like for me, now." I stood, pressed up against the kitchen counter by his body, not in a fierce embrace this time, but in fear, as adrenaline pumped through my veins. Edward had told me, over and over – one desire, my body, could push him over to the other, my blood. This was what was happening to Jasper, and it was all my fault. I was going to die, and he would live with the guilt for his entire life...if Edward didn't kill him. What had I done?!

I knew he could hear the blood rushing to my heart, like I could, as the adrenaline main-lined into my heart. I knew the feeling well enough. I was having a panic attack. Air filled my lungs and flew out again in short gasps, and my legs gave way. There were dots clouding my vision, but I was aware that I was still pushed up against the kitchen counter, Jasper's body holding me up. I could see clearly, for a fraction of a second, and all I could see was Jasper's eyes, black as the night. There were no stars, in that never ending night; only my demise, being prepared within their depths. I took one last spluttering breath, before my mind couldn't take any more, and it had to protect itself. Everything went black.

There was no refuge in the blackness, either. There was the knowledge, even in this protective state, that I may never come out of this void, or that when I would, someone who I was devastatingly attracted to may kill me, because he thirsted for my blood. There was no track of time here. I may have been in the dark void for seconds, for minutes, for hours, but I would have to come out of it sometime. I mulled things over in this haven, where I could feel no pain. It wasn't right, to be doing this with Jasper. I was hurting Alice, and I was hurting Edward, by having some sort of sordid relationship for the weekend with my fiance's brother and my best friend's husband. I was hurting myself and Jasper, too, by indulging in something that could never be in the real world, the sensible world.

_But Bella!_ The romantic and dangerous side of me objected, _It isn't a sensible world! You're getting married to a vampire who's been living for decades longer than you. On top of that, you're in love with a werewolf too, and you broke said werewolf's heart! Do you really need me to add, that this werewolf is missing, has run away because of you! And NOW, you're getting your jollies by having some kind of disgusting affair with your best friend's husband. Bella, this isn't a sensible world; and you've messed everything up already - so why not indulge? Have Jasper, forget about Edward. Stay with Jasper; he's dangerous and romantic. And willing to give you what you want, Bella. You know I'm right. _

Various versions of me with their own points of view warred with each other in this void, and all of a sudden, it didn't seem as safe a place as I had once thought. It became freezing cold, like Edward or Jasper's arms, and my head twisted inside out, as the Team Jasper and the Team Edward created by little armies of myself warred on.

_Bella! Edward is your soul mate. You know that, so why are you hurting him so badly? When Carlisle changed Edward into a vampire, he gave him another chance to find love, to find you! You wouldn't be who you are if it wasn't for him, the man who's waited to find you for nearly one hundred years, so now don't tell me you're going to throw that away for a stupid fling, just because it gives you a rush!? _

I blanked out the unimportant trivia, though, I knew, it wasn't trivial. Jasper and I being together was wrong, and dangerous; and it would just end bad-

_You like danger, remember Bella?_ One of the subconscious Team Jasper troopers cut me off, stating the obvious. I _did_ like danger, but this wasn't just danger. This was hurtful. This had the ability to tear up _two_ amazing relationships, to tear up my _family, _and I wasn't going to have it.

I conjured up my favorite image of Edward, in the meadow, on the day that he'd decided he wanted to 'do things my way', as he put it. He was smiling, and my resolve was slipping. I'd told him that I'd do things the right way – and here I was, doing things 'the right way', by making out with his brother. I was a terrible, terrible, monster. Things had to change. The meadow shook around me, as Edward crumbled to dust in front of my eyes. As things became still again, and I was back in the cold darkness, I realized that, no matter how long I wanted to stay here, within the walls of my subconscious, and no matter how long I had already been here, I had to leave.

My eyelids fluttered, and I realized I was lying on the Cullens' sofa, my head in Jasper's lap. I took in my surroundings, as I heard him exclaim into his tiny silver cell phone,

"She's awake, she's opened her eyes!" He stared down at me, and stroked my cheek. I was still disorientated, so I closed my eyes, trying to understand why Jasper was still speaking, quietly, into his cell. "Thanks, Carlisle. I'd been sitting with her for an hour, and I knew I had to call someone, explain, let someone know. Don't tell Edward, will you? He'll kill me." He chuckled, and my eyes flew open. He'd told Carlisle. Edward would hear through his mind, and would tell Alice. I'd lost Edward, forever, now!

"Well, I know that he'll hear you, but can't you think of something else?" Jasper laughed again. Why was he taking this so smoothly?! He'd just told his father, Edward's father, that I'd passed out because I'd thought he was going to bite me while he was kissing me. What would Carlisle think of me?! I was cheating on his dearest son, and in turn, hurting my best friend and his daughter. Esme would hate me. Emmett would hate me, and what little progress I'd made with Rosalie would be erased immediately. But on top of losing my family, I'd lose the reason for my existence, and my best friend.

"Goodbye, Carlisle. Yes, I'll check. She seems fine now, though; but thank you so much. Goodbye." He flipped the phone shut, and a cacophony of noise flooded from my mouth, as I asked every question imaginable.

"JASPER! What the HELL possessed you to tell Carlisle?! What happened?! Now Edward knows, and he'll hate me and it'll all be over for you and Alice, and I've lost my best friend, and my family, and WHY WOULD YOU DO IT!? I would have come round, you didn't need to tell Carlisle, oh my god! What did he say?" I was in hysterics, as I reached the final question. "What am I going to DO without Edward?!" I felt the familiar hole wrench my soul apart, as I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold my body together, lest it be ripped apart along with my soul. I rocked backwards and forwards, not listening to Jasper's pleading. There was no personal sunshine anymore, I'd driven him away, and my precious drug was gone, too. Team Edward fell down and rocked themselves back and forth inside my head, too, as we admitted defeat. We had lost Edward. _I _ had lost Edward.

I don't know how long I stayed like that, frozen in place, exactly. But, a few hours later, at around 6 o clock, Jasper pulled me out of my dream world.

"Bella, you've got to talk to me sometime." He sounded desperate, and though I'd ignored all of his other pleas, I knew he was right. So I let go. I let my eyes re-focus, and let my mind concentrate on the present day, though I kept my arms around myself, in case I ripped into two. I looked at Jasper, pleading.

"What happened, Jazz? Explain, it all, please!" My voice cracked on the last word, and I let out a peculiar gurgling sob, as I buried my head in his chest, all thought of danger and death forgotten. Though, death had not been completely forgotten; as I knew that in time I would fall apart and die, because I had lost my Edward.

Jasper began, from where I had left off, from what I would have remembered. "You passed out, and I carried you through to the lounge. I set you down on the couch, and waited for you to wake up. I knew your mind was just protecting its self, like after the big fight… but five minutes had passed, and I didn't know what to do. I thought maybe you'd need more time, so I waited, listening to you breathing, evenly. I waited, for an _hour _before calling Carlisle," he paused, and I could tell that he had sacrificed something, because he would have been sick with worry the entire time I'd been out. "So, I rang Carlisle. I told him that you'd tripped on the last step, and fallen down the stairs; that you'd been knocked out cold. I didn't expect him to believe me, but he did." He laughed, nervously, and continued. "He said to try and wake you up, which I tried. I tried shaking you, over and over, but nothing. Carlisle said to put some ice on your forehead, and to ring him back in an hour. So, I put ice on your forehead, and tried to wake you up. You didn't stir," he paused, choking back some foreign emotion that was threatening him, as his story came out, hoarsely.

"I thought," he paused again, and tried to regain some composure. I touched his arm, and he smiled at me timidly, before continuing. "I thought I'd killed you." There was a pause, a deafening silence, after his whispered words tore through the air, the realization sinking in. "So I rang Carlisle, hysterical. I changed my story. I told him almost, the entire truth. I told him that I'd unintentionally scared you; and that you were under the impression that I was going to kill you," he whispered, and I leaned forward, to comfort him, before my subconscious screamed at me not to. "He told me it would all be okay, that he and Esme were away from the rest of the family, anyway, and that he could help me. He said that maybe you were under the impression that..." he stopped, unable to speak. He took a deep breath, and continued in an almost inaudible whisper. "He said that maybe you were under the impression that you were _already dead. _ I was horrified. You were working your way into a coma, according to Carlisle. He said to walk you around the room, to try and wake you up. So, I hung up, and walked you around the room, shook you...and then," if he could have, I was sure that he would have been blushing. "I kissed you. I put you back on the sofa, and told Carlisle there was nothing I could do, and that I thought you were in a coma, brain dead." he stifled a dry sob, and I reached out to him, and he wrapped his arms around me, as if he was afraid I would disappear. "But then, you woke up!" I could hear the relief in his voice, even now. "I can't tell you how happy I was Bella, how happy I still am that I didn't lose you." Then, his face turned more serious, as did his tone. "I realized, Bella, you mean a _lot_ to me...and I can't bear to lose you. Not to death...or to Edward."

I stared at Jasper. Was he...falling in _love_ with me?! This was wrong! So, very, very wrong. I'd barely spent time with him apart from the last two days, this couldn't be happening!

"I...love you Bella." I looked at Jasper, and going against everything that Team Jasper had been fighting for in my subconscious, I shook my head.

"I can't do that to them, Jasper." I whispered, and watched him crumble. "You _saw_ how I fell apart when I thought I'd lost Edward and Alice, and all of my family! You've got to understand!" I begged him, but his gaze was cold. He shrugged away from me, and stood up in front of me. "It's too dangerous, Jasper, too. You know that, deep down. I know you said you wouldn't hurt me, and you weren't going to...but I could see it in your eyes, Jazz." I prayed his nickname would soften him up, but it didn't. He stood rigid in front of me, and I could see him falling apart, visibly. "It wouldn't be...right. Alice is meant for you, and Edward is meant for _me. _He's waited a hundred years to find me, Jasper. I've had it easy, but knowing my life with him, and without...I couldn't live ten years, let alone a hundred without him. He's the _reason_ I'm in the world! I can't throw this away for you, Jazz. And I know if you were thinking straight, you'd say the same thing about being with Alice." I could tell I was hurting him, like I'd hurt Jacob.

"Please, Bella." he whispered, almost incoherently. I thought back to the night before, where he'd said the same thing to me. When I wasn't sure if he _liked_ me or if he didn't. I didn't even think about..._love._ I swung my legs from the couch, and hugged him. I cried against his chest, because I knew I was right – but I couldn't help wonder what could have been.

We stood there, in each other's arms as the minutes ticked by. Jasper dry sobbed into my hair, as I cried real tears into his chest. I wasn't exactly sure at the time what Jasper was crying for, though I realized afterwards, it was for me. I was crying for many things: because I'd hurt Edward and Alice, even if they didn't know yet, and because I'd hurt Jacob, too, and because I was hurting Jasper.

As the night dragged on, Jasper and I moved to the couch, and I lay down on his chest, staining his shirt with my tears. He continued crying, though tears never came to him. The pain I felt was worse than when I cried in Edward's arms, because everything I felt was amplified by Jasper's ability.

It was the early hours of the morning when I felt I could leave Jasper's arms. I'd be seeing Edward, in one day. I wished that the schedule hadn't changed, that he would be back today. But he wouldn't be. I pushed myself from Jasper's chest without a word, and he didn't move. I walked up the stairs and into the shower, and scrubbed myself vigorously all over, washing away the scent of betrayal from my skin.

I stood by Edward's window, watching the sun come up over the boughs of the trees. I tucked myself into Edward's bed, and ignored the knowledge that Jasper was downstairs, wishing he could turn back time.

_Wishing that he didn't love me._

**I won't be updating until after I come home from my holidays – so you will have either a long chapter, or a few normal-sized ones on Friday the 4th of April. Thanks for reading, guys, I appreciate every review, every alert subscription, and every favorite. **


	7. Misleading

**Disclaimer – Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I own nothing and I make no profit from this story etc.**

**A.N. - Hey guys! I'm back from my holiday:D I hated every second of it (for many a reason) but I've gotta say, when I checked my emails and saw all the reviews and alerts you guys have put on my story, it made things a bit better. So, here's the 7****th**** chapter :) Thanks for being so patient etc. but I'm not sure if this chapter is my best work – it's passable, though. I promise the next chapter will be a lot better. I've decided what the whole plot's going to be, so that I can add a sequel etc (yay or nay?) and that means that the chapters have to be a liddle bit shorter. Sorry guys!**

I woke up late the next morning, warm and comfy in Edward's bed. Surprisingly, I'd slept free of nightmares for that night, even though I hadn't had a pair of cool arms to protect me. I opened my eyes, and threw my arms across my face, shielding them while they adjusted to the immense amount of light that was flooding in through Edward's window-wall. When I'd decided that I'd be able to see without permanently damaging my eyes, I sat up in bed, and was shocked to see Jasper sitting at the end of it. I hadn't felt him there, and I wondered briefly if the reason I'd slept free of nightmares was because I _had_ had a pair of cold arms around me. He hesitated, then looked up at me.

"Bella...I'm sorry that I said that last night...I shouldn't have...I just didn't know how to do it or whether or not to say..." He trailed off, and I felt despair seep through the room.

"I know Jasper, don't worry about it...I know you weren't thinking straight and neither-"

"But I was!" He cut me off abruptly, and I was shocked at what I heard. "I was thinking straight, I was completely right in my mind! I _do _ love you Bella, of course I do! I couldn't just say something like that and not mean it...I just wish I'd said it right." It was an assumption of mine that last night was just him not thinking straight... I didn't know what to say, and I wound the sheets through my hands nervously.

I looked up then, and he was shaking, slightly. He looked up, meeting my gaze. I became aware that I'd gotten closer to him than I'd meant to; and he realized, too. He took advantage of this, unhesitating, not even to check if I was willing. I didn't see him do it, because of the speed he did it at, but I knew what had happened. He pushed the guitar aside and closed the distance between us in milliseconds, and kissed me, softly at first, then with more power behind it. At first, I let him continue the kiss, but I knew we would have to stop. I pushed against him, trying to break the kiss, and expecting him to stop, like Edward did. I didn't have enough strength to stop either of them, but Edward would always comply.

Jasper didn't. Feeling my feeble attempts to push him away, he pushed me back down onto the bed, resting his elbows either side of me, holding his weight just enough so that I could feel his body pressing against mine. A part of me was screaming to get him off me, but the other part was more dominant. I responded to him, clinging on to him for dear life. His mouth left mine, and he started trailing kisses down my neck, lower, until they reached the top of my shirt. He pulled it down, and began kissing me again, but I noticed the difference. There was an urgency under the kisses, and I knew where it was leading. I didn't want that to happen. Jasper started opening my buttons at human speed, to distracted by my body to pay attention to what he was doing. I tried to stop him, tugging at his hands. I wanted this, of course...but not with Jasper.

"Jasper, please!" I tried to beg him, but my breathless voice let the plead come out as a moan, spurring him on. His hands, finished unbuttoning my shirt, trailed up my sides, making me shiver as he trailed kisses down to my navel. I was too far gone to think coherently, and I let him continue, my breath coming in short gasps, as I tried to hold back moans threatening to escape my lips. He gripped my hips fiercely, as if he would never let them go. I was too caught up in the moment to notice that the action was painful. He brought his lips back up to mine in a flood of passion, and I didn't want him to stop, now. "Jasper, please!" I begged, breathless and impatient as he moved his lips from mine, and trailed kisses down my body.

"Bella," Jasper growled against my stomach, making me shiver from the sensation. "Yes, or no?" I knew what he meant, and he knew that I was aware. I wanted to scream at him, Yes, yes, to make him take me in an act of love, securing me as his forever. But I tried to think sensibly for a minute. Feeling my hesitation, Jasper removed his lips from my skin, and I missed the electricity flowing from them as pulled me upright, into a sitting position in front of him. "Well?" he breathed.

I hesitated, though I'd made my decision already. I didn't want to hurt him.

"No, Jasper. I can't." He nodded. I had led him on, yet again. Why did I always have to do that? He was taking it well so far, I thought. It didn't last long. He let go of me, and I fell backwards on to the bed with a thud. It didn't hurt me physically, though it did emotionally, somewhat. He jumped lithely from the bed. I stared after him, as the door swung shut, and held my face in my hands.

_**I know it's not long, but I thought I'd give you a chapter tonight, albeit short, so that tomorrow I can post as many chapters as I can churn out. Review, please.**_


	8. Unerasable

**Disclaimer, as always – S'all Stephenie Meyer's, not mine! **

**A.N. - This chapter is a bit filler-y. I wrote this before coming home, so it was gonna be a filler anyway, really. Thanks for all your reviews for the last chapter by the way, they really made my day. **

I knew that I needed to make the most of my last day alone with Jasper, even if it was as friends. I jumped out of bed, ignoring the head rush, and gathering my wash bag, slipped into Edward's en suite. I turned the lock on the door, and started peeling off my clothing, as I looked at myself in the long mirror, running from the top of the ceiling down the the tiled floor. My lips were swollen, and my hair was messy. My eyes were swollen from crying, and the dark circles that had appeared under them looked as though they had been permanently etched into my pale skin. But there was something that worried me more than all of these things put together. It didn't worry me too much, because Edward and I weren't intimate, but I knew that one of my family would see these at some point. Alice, or Rosalie, on a shopping trip. Emmett, as my top rode up when he tickled me. Carlisle, examining me if I had too much of a bump. Edward, if he finally re-thought all of his careful rules. I turned from side to side, running my hands over the raised, angry reddish-purple blotches on my hips. The imprint Jasper's hands had left on me in the heat of the moment. It was merely moments ago, but the raised imprints were already angrily flaming. His ice-like hands, contrasting with my over heated body, had caused my scorching skin to react to his frozen skin, as he applied a little too much pressure. I ran my hands over them, fitting my tiny hands into the large imprints.

I sighed, hoping that the shower would erase them. I stepped in, and turned the water on. It was cool at first, and I let it run over my body, chilling me, hoping to rid myself of the angry indentations. Then, when I couldn't stand the ice running over me, I turned the heat back on, and scrubbed my skin until I felt clean. I turned the water off, and stepped out of the shower, towelling myself off. I tried to take a look at the inflamed impressions on my skin, but there was too much steam. It was impossible to see them. I sat on the edge of the bath, facing the mirror, as the steam was dissipated. I stood up, and saw that the angry indentations were now purple bruises. I collapsed on the floor. _How_ would I hide this?

Suddenly, a loud knock came at the door, and I jumped out of my skin. Engrossed in the flaws on my skin, I'd completely forgotten that there was anyone else in the vast house. I unlocked the door, and popped my head around it, shielding my half naked body. I knew it was Jasper, but I didn't want to lead him on. I would start this today afresh, as friends with Jasper. Jasper was standing outside the door in a pale blue shirt and dark jeans. I tried to ignore the increase of my heartbeat as I took in his visible muscles through his shirt.

"Bella, I didn't want to interrupt, or anything, but I've been feeling a large amount of well...horror, and worry coming from this room...I was worried about you." He confessed, and I smiled reassuringly. I didn't want him to catch on that my anguish was because of him, even if he hadn't meant to hurt me. I was about to tell him that everything was fine, before he interrupted. He looked behind me, into the spacious bathroom, and took a sharp breath. "Oh, Bella." he sighed, visibly tortured. "What did I do to you?" I turned around, and realized that through the gap I had made in the door, Jasper would be able to see in, and look into the mirror. To see the bruises he'd given me, unintentionally, in its reflection.

"It's not your fault, Jasper, honestly!" I opened the door, and threw my arms around him, not caring that I was so scantily clad. He breathed in the scent of my damp hair, and wound his arms around my waist protectively._ Leading him on Bella!_ My stupid subconscious was right, so I unlocked my arms from around his neck. "Forget about it, Jasper. No one will know, and they'll disappear soon." I looked down to see his arms still tightly encircling my waist. "Do you mind, Jazz?" I gestured to my prison in his arms. He looked torn, between what, I didn't know. But with a sigh, he let go. He hadn't said anything in such a long time as we stood there. My eyes glazed over as I thought of what would have happened if Jasper had been the one that I was meant to be with. I refocused, and Jasper was staring at my body, lust apparent on his face and in his eyes. I reached into the bathroom and pulled Edward's bathrobe on, covering myself. Jasper had gathered himself in the second it had taken me to make myself decent, his face a calm .

"Look, Jasper." I started. "Can't we just spend time together today, as friends? Erase everything that's happened in the past two days? Have Jasper- Bella bonding time, as brother and sister?" He nodded, eager to please me.

"I'll be downstairs, Bells, so get ready and then you can have some breakfast. Well, more like lunch, now!" He laughed, a carefree sound, and with that, he was out of the door. I spent my time getting ready, brushing and blow drying my hair. I would have straightened it, or curled it, but I wasn't going to subject myself to Bella Barbie if it was my choice. Plus, if I looked all done up, then Jasper may take it the wrong way...

When I arrived downstairs, Jasper had made me breakfast. I thanked him, but didn't get up to hug him. After a few jokes of, "Is it edible" and things to that effect, we settled down in the lounge, watching TV. Jasper commented on nearly every scene of the movie we were watching, from, "Now, how on _EARTH_ could that _actually_ happen? It's absurd!" when the movie got a bit unbelievable, to "I suppose that could happen...it's quite cute, actually" when romantic scenes showed up. I was on my guard with Jazz all day, and I could tell he was too – though he was very eager to impress me constantly. I beat down the little voice in the back of my head screaming "_He's worse than Mike Newton!_".

The day passed quickly, because I'd missed most of the morning. I didn't know why I had been sleeping in so late, here – at home, I was usually up bright and early. At some point in the night, while watching re-run after re-run of movies, I fell asleep briefly. Jasper shook me awake.

"Bella, you sort of fell asleep...I thought you might want to watch this movie?" His act of brotherly kindness would have been perfect, had his hand not been tightly wrapped around my waist, underneath my shirt.

"Um, yeah, sure Jazz. I hadn't realized I was so tired...What movie are we gonna watch?" He smiled knowingly.

"Moulin Rouge. Edward told me you liked it, and Alice left it out." I jumped up, ecstatic. I _did_ love Moulin Rouge! Jasper reached over and grabbed the remote control, pressing play.

"Thanks, Jazz. I do like Moulin Rouge – but you don't have to sit through it if you don't want to, Edward sort-of blanks out while I'm watching it." I laughed, because it didn't bother me. At least he was there.

"No!" Jasper exclaimed, his face no longer calm, but looking somewhat shocked. "I...like Moulin Rouge." He laughed, and continued. "Alice never watches it with me, and it's kind of a girly film so obviously I can't watch it with the guys.." I smiled at him, but didn't say anything else, settling down to watch the movie.

**I know the whole Jazz/Bella Moulin Rouge thingy has already been done, so sorry if those who have used it are angry with me : You guys can blame the poor choice of DVDs in reception on my holiday for the Moulin Rouge reference – not that I don't like Moulin Rouge, I love it – I watched it non stop on holiday cause there were no other good DVDs. Though I did watch Zathura on Sky Movies – Kirsten Stewart is definitely going to be a good Bella, imho. Review, please! **


	9. Games

**Disclaimer as always.**

**I'm watching Moulin Rouge as I write this, so it may be a bit sketchy in parts. Most of it is actually them singing to each other, but there we go. I know you guys are probably itching for the rest of the Cullens to return, and they will very soon! Review, please – and let me know, are you Team Jasper, or Team Edward?**

As we settled down to watch the movie, I almost forgot that Jasper was next to me. His cool presence reminded me of Edward somewhat, but the same concentration as I had on the movie was evident in him, and it was nice to know that he was there not because he liked spending time with me, but because he was interested in the movie. I inwardly laughed, realizing that it should be the other way around if I was your run-of-the-mill girl.

The butterfly eyelashes of the prostitute on the street corner flickered as an introduction, and I felt a pang in my chest as the black and white scene faded into color, as I watched Christian typing the words onto the paper through his typewriter.

_The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love and be loved in return_

I nestled into the cool body beside me, and it obliged, as Jasper wrapped his arms around me in the dark. I hadn't expected the light, spacious house to be able to be dark at all, but it was – not at all spooky, though. I'd never known love before Edward, and he'd never known it before me. So, how could Jasper and I break apart the purest of loves – mine and Edward's, and his and Alice's? Jasper loved me, now. What had I done?

As Christian burst into song, I did too. I'd watched the movie so many times, and though I'd subconsciously held back when watching the movie with Edward, but I didn't care when with Jasper. He joined in, laughing with me.

As the movie continued, I murmured the female parts, and Jasper murmured those of the men.

"_Cause we are living in a material world, and I am a material girl._" I murmured softly, to myself. Jasper laughed, catching me off guard.

"I thought you didn't like people giving you presents, Bells!" He laughed and nudged me playfully. I was happy things were working out right- Jasper was being my brother, now. He wasn't trying to be more. He wasn't pushy like Jacob had been. I didn't feel guilty about sitting like this with him, and watching the movie.

Then Christian and Satine were in the elephant, and I felt Jasper looking at me. _Look at him, Bella! _ My subconscious pushed me further, though I knew what would happen if I looked at him now. My hair would fall in my eyes, and he'd brush it away. Then he'd kiss me, and the movie would continue on though we'd forgotten about it. I'd forget about Edward and Jasper would forget about Alice too. And we'd do something we would regret later on.

But I looked at him anyway. My hair fell into my eyes, as I met his gaze. He brushed the messy tendrils from my eyes, and stroked my cheek. I swallowed, and pressed my lips into a tight line, warning him away. He didn't heed my warning, pulling me closer and pressing his lips to mine softly. I pulled away, quickly, singing Satine's line, distracting Jasper.

"Love is just a game."

"I was made for loving you baby, you were made for loving me!" Jasper retaliated.

"The only way of loving me baby, is to pay a lovely fee!"

"Just one night, give me just one night," Jasper wasn't laughing as he had been earlier, and I could tell though my lines didn't hit home, his did.

"Theres no way cause you can't pay!"

"In the name of love, one night in the name of love!" Jasper's voice was tone perfect, and somewhat seductive, even if it might have been unintentional.

"You crazy fool I won't give in to you!"

"Don't, leave me this way, I can't survive, without your sweet love, oh baby, don't leave me this way!"

I didn't sing the next line, and Jasper didn't sing Christian's line, then. We sat silently, gazing at each other. His eyes were filled with love, and mine with defiance.

"Well what's wrong with that? I'd like to know. Cause here I go again...Love lifts us up where we belong! Where eagles fly, on a mountain high!" Jasper's voice rang out higher than that of Ewan McGregor's, and it took my breath away. He kissed me briefly, and I pulled away.  
"Love makes us act like we are fools. Throw our lives away, for one happy day!"

"We could be heroes! Just for one day!"

He kissed me then, deepening the kiss before I had a chance to do anything about it. He broke off to sing the next line. This wasn't Moulin Rouge anymore. It was us, talking to eachother.  
"We should be lovers!"  
"We can't do that."  
"We should be lovers! And that's a fact."

"Though nothing, would keep us together."

"Just for one day. We could be heroes, forever and ever, we could be heroes, forever and ever, We can be heroes..." Our voices mingled, perfect for the other. I'd thought that his and Alice's voices mixed perfectly, but now hearing my usual flat voice with his, I realized we harmonized perfectly.  
"Just because I will always love you..." He finished singing, and kissed me softly, not pushing at all. I realized that however much I wanted this, I couldn't hurt Edward and Alice this way. Or Jasper. I didn't care about myself. This was my fault, I deserved what I got. But I had to stop this. I gasped, and pulled away, walking from the room. Christian and Satine's medley reverberated through the house, and met me in the kitchen. Jasper walked in slowly, and wrapped his arms around me. I sobbed against his chest, and he tucked my head under his chin, letting me stain his shirt. He lifted my legs up and cradled me in his arms like a baby, then carried me back to the couch, bridal style.

I wasn't aware that I'd spent so long crying, though my tears had dried. We'd returned to the tango scene.

"_Roxanne,_

_You don't have to put on that red light  
Walk the streets for money  
You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right, Roxanne,  
You don't have to wear that dress tonight, Roxanne,  
You don't have to sell your body to the night_"

Jasper whispered into my ear, "His eyes upon your face, his hand upon your hand, his lips caress your skin, It's more than I can stand. Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight! You're free to leave me but just don't deceive me! And please believe me when I say I love you!"

My breath caught in my throat, but I ignored it, as the tears threatened to breech the sides.


	10. Dreaming

**Disclaimer as always, Stephenie Meyer owns it all, it's not mine :) Oh, and obviously, Moulin Rouge etc is not mine, either.**

**AN – Tenth chapter, hurrah! I'm aiming to have 29 chapters and an epilogue, so there are currently only 19 chapters to go! So you guys see why I have to make the chapters shorter, right? Again, review and let me know whether you're on Team Jasper or Team Edward? **

Nestled in Jasper's arms on the couch, any tears that had been lingering in my eyes had dissipated a while ago. I watched the movie quietly, apart from during the singing parts. During those, Jasper and I sang. But I was aware, the entire time, that it was not a brother and sister's embrace. His cold hand resided on my hip, under my shirt, covering the angry indent his hand had left. It was easy being with Jasper. Yes, he had the thirst, but he didn't shy away from me to keep himself in control like Edward did. There wasn't a constant edge.

"Sing with me, Bella?" He asked, quietly. It was the finale. _Come What May._ The courtesan and the sitar player's secret love song. The song that was _meant _ to stop him being jealous of the courtesan and the maharajah. How could I refuse Jasper?

_Never knew I could feel like this  
It's like I've never seen the sky before  
Want to vanish inside your kiss  
Every day I love you more and more  
Listen to my heart can you hear it sing?  
Come back to me and forgive everything!  
Seasons may change winter to spring  
I love you, 'til the end of time._

_Come what may  
Come what may_

_Come what may_

_Come what may  
I will love you until my dying day_

_Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace  
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste  
It all revolves around you  
And there's no mountain too high  
No river too wide  
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side  
Storm clouds may gather  
And stars may collide  
But I love you until the end of time_

_Come what may  
Come what may  
I will love you until my dying day_

_Oh, come what may, come what may  
I will love you, I will love you  
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place  
_

_Come what may  
Come what may  
I will love you until my dying day_

Jasper smiled at me, and I whispered to him,"You won't get jealous, will you Jasper?"

He shook his head. "No, Bella, I won't. I'll be a good penniless sitar player." He laughed. I laughed too, before I turned my attention back to the screen.

Satine was dying. Before I could stop them, tears began running down my face. Jasper tried to pacify me, sending waves of calm my way, but I couldn't stop them. They ran down my face in a waterfall, cascading down my cheeks and running down my neck. Jasper couldn't wipe them away, they were falling so quickly.

Jasper couldn't understand why I was crying so much because of Satine's death – after all, it was just a movie. But I was crying freely because now that I'd broken down the barrier that I'd put up against my tears, I was sobbing for Edward. I had thought maybe it would be better for him if I just died, ceased to be, so that he could continue living without a heartbeat. He could love Tanya, and Jasper and Alice could be the couple they always had been. One that had stood out since Alice had been changed. One that made everything better for Jasper.

Jasper stopped trying to force the reason for my tears out of me, and just bundled me up in his arms and rocked me back and forth. As the hours passed, I grew more tired. Jasper carried me to Edward's room and tucked me into bed. He left, then. "_He doesn't love you Bella. He would have stayed if he did" _ my subconscious chided. I fell into an uneasy sleep in the early hours of the morning, to be greeted by nightmares.

I was sitting on a boat, and though no one had told me where I was, I knew I was on the coast of France. It shocked me that I was here, considering that France was where Edward and I had decided to spend our belated honeymoon, after he had changed me. I became aware also, that I was a vampire. I was sitting on the rail of the boat, ready to push myself off the side into the murky depths. I recognized the sickening pain in my chest. Edward had left. The wound was raw, and it hurt more than it had the last time. My cell phone beeped a warning in my pocket, I assumed that it was Alice, telling me not to do it. But I didn't care. Vampire or no vampire, I needed to kid myself that I was drowning again. Though Jacob wouldn't be there to save me this time. Jacob, Jasper, Edward...why did I have any of them? I didn't deserve anyone, let alone 3 amazing people. I jumped from the rail, and hit the icy cold water.

I woke up, gasping for air. It was still night time. I stood up, and walked to the window-wall. The dark expanse of trees was almost frightening – what was out there? A flash of brilliant white sped across the trees, and they began falling. I strained my groggy eyes, and looked closer. _Jasper. _ Jasper was out in the black forest, breaking trees down. I watched him for a while, in wonder. Then, he fell. The trees he'd impaired fell down around him as he sat on the floor, up against a tree that he hadn't torn apart. He held his face in his hands, and tucked his legs up against his body. I felt a wave of pain shake through me, and I gasped. Jasper's eyes flicked up in seconds, to meet mine. He didn't move, and neither did I. He sat on the ground outside, staring up at me.

I fell asleep at some point, sitting by the window. I woke up the next morning, back in bed. I had probably dreamed seeing Jasper tearing down trees. Sure enough, I walked to the window, and everything was as it should have been. I stole a look at the clock. 12:00. The Cullens were coming home.

_**Review please! **_


	11. Return

**Disclaimer – You know the drill! Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I own nothing and I make no profit from this story etc.**

**AN - This chapter isn't the only 'Return of the Cullens' chapter I'll be posting, because it's very short, but I find that the whole ending would fit in nicely, etc. This chapter is, infact, around 300 words less than I usually do. I'm sorry for the short chapters guys, but I'm going to be getting a lot of work once Easter is over, so I need to lessen the workload. Btw, do you guys like the chapters having names; or did you like them better when it was just Chapter 1, Chapter 5 etc? Let me know.**** And, a****gain, review and let me know whether you're on Team Jasper or Team Edward? **

I showered quickly, my eyes only lingering briefly on the indents on my pale skin, and dressed at my top speed. The Cullens would be coming home any minute! I ran as fast as I could without stumbling down the the stairs, and Jasper was sitting on the couch. I ran over to the couch, bouncing up and down in excitement.

"They won't be long now, Jazz!" I screeched, while he laughed.

"Yeah, they should be here any minute." He smiled. "You know, I always thought that it was Alice affecting you, making you all jumpy and gleeful. But by the looks of you now, it's the other way around!" I laughed with him, and continued my bouncing, and eventually with an exasperated sigh, Jasper gave in to my emotions. We bounced excitedly for a while, but eventually he tried calming me again. I gave in, abruptly. I was starting to get worried, anyway – the excitement was waning before Jasper had even tried to manipulate me.

How would I explain those ugly bruises on my body? How would we explain Jasper's thoughts? There were so many mistakes made in these past few days. What would happen? Would I choose Jasper, or Edward? The wedding wasn't far away. Less than a month! What would I do? Would Alice see something and alert Edward? How could I have betrayed them both!?

Jasper's low and anxious voice broke me out of my reverie with a start.

"Bella, this is the last chance we have." I looked at him stupidly – what was he talking about? "Please Bella." Memories of his previous pleads with me, and mine with him, manifested my mind. I knew now, what he wanted. "Kiss me, and I promise I won't be jealous." I shook my head, silently. I couldn't hurt Alice and Edward like that. "Please Bella!" I could see the pain in his eyes. It was then that I heard the two cars approaching, screeching down the road connecting to the Cullens' immense driveway. I pressed my lips to Jasper's quickly, and he deepened the kiss. I let myself be engulfed in it for the fleeting moments that my skin touched his, then he pulled away abruptly, and turned on the TV, sliding down the sofa until he was a considerable distance away from me. A perfect act of nonchalance on both our accounts. I wiped my lips with my hand, as did Jasper, covering the other's scent. It wouldn't be completely covered, but it was good enough.

The chasing cars screamed to a halt in the driveway. My heart beat sped up. Edward was home! I could hear car doors slamming outside, and seconds later, the wide front door swung open. Edward and Alice chorused at the same time.

"Bella!" Edward shouted, running towards me.

"Jazzy!" Alice screeched, and ran over to where Jasper was standing. He didn't move.

I stood up and ran to Edward as he opened his arms, picking me up and hugging me tightly to his chest, kissing me with a fierce passion. I clung tightly to him, as his arm wound protectively around my waist, and his other hand entangling itself into my hair.

"I've missed you _so _ much!" I choked back the wave of emotion that was causing me to sob. He held me tightly against his chest, rocking me back and forth.

"I've missed you too, Bella. It wasn't worth the worry. I won't ever go that far again. I won't leave you." I nodded against his chest, as we stood there in the doorway. The rest of the family weren't exchanging greetings, so I assumed Alice and Jasper were in the same position as Edward and I. I tried to ignore the throbbing jealousy stemming from the notion of someone else with Jasper. Edward's body stiffened, suddenly, and I looked up at him. His gaze was fixed across the room. He didn't look angry, just confused. I twisted in his embrace, to see Jasper holding Alice in his arms the same way Edward was holding me, but his eyes were fixed on Edward's hands in contact with my body. And the expression on his face could be described as nothing other than jealousy.


	12. Discovered

**Disclaimer as always – you know the drill!**

**AN – This took me longer than usual, sorry guys. I was experiencing writer's block - you know the kind where you know what you wanna say, but can't get it down? Yeah, so currently, I've turned off the TV, and I've got music on. POWER THROUGH! Sorry if this isn't up to scratch, guys. I know it's not very long, sorry again. Let me know what Team you're on, as always!**

"Jasper, are you okay?" Edward was still confused, as I stared at Jasper in horror, willing him to realize that he was giving the game away. He continued staring, his gaze fixed on Edward's arms, now tighter than ever around my waist, his breathing deep and even.

"Jasper?" I tried to bring him out of it by using a level-toned voice, so that I wouldn't alert Edward, but I didn't succeed. My voice was noticeably higher in tone, and my heartbeats were frantic splutters. Alice, who's face had been buried in Jasper's shoulder, turned now, looking up at Jasper, hearing our alarmed tones, and probably my heartbeat.

"Jazzy?" She questioned. I could hear the alarm in her voice, and Jasper finally came back to us, distracted from his consuming jealousy. He looked up, meeting my gaze. I couldn't decipher the emotion in his eyes, but I found it impossible to look away. He said nothing, his lips pressed in a tight line. "Are you okay, Jazz!? What happened?" Alice shook him, worried out of her wits. He smiled reassuringly at her.

"Yes, Al, I'm okay. I was just thinking." He kissed her hair, though his eyes never left mine. I turned back in Edward's arms, and leaned up to whisper in his ear, trying to distract him. He seemed to be far away, and I knew he was listening to Jasper's thoughts.

"Edward?" His eyes focused on me, and he smiled his crooked smile at me. I melted at once, all thoughts of Jasper forgotten. "Can we go upstairs? As much as I love being with our family, I want you all to myself for a bit." I grinned at him, and batted my eyelashes a little. "Please?" Everything happened quickly then. Emmett laughed, booming throughout the house, saying something along the lines of "...Got him wrapped around her little finger..." to Rosalie, Alice was pulled into a vision, and Edward swung me up into his arms, cradling me to his chest, and started walking at human speed towards the stairs. As we passed him, Jasper growled. Edward's eyes flickered to him instantly, and stopped in his tracks, as did the rest of the family. Alice, though, was still trapped in a vision, her face blank. Jasper seemingly immediately realized his mistake, and turned to her, feigning worry.

"Alice, are you okay?" He murmured. It was low, but loud enough for me to hear. Edward scoffed.

"Of course she's okay, Jasper, she's just having a vision! She has them all the time. What's gotten into you?" His playful tone had an underlying menace. I knew he was asking the question more for an answer as to what he'd seen in Jasper's thoughts, rather than his actions.

"I can feel all sorts of emotions coming from her, actually Edward." His harsh tone caught me off guard, as it did Edward. "I was worried about what she was seeing." Edward frowned, and his eyes glazed over, as he tried to tune into Alice's vision. His frown deepened, and Alice was still blank-faced.

"Edward?" I raised my arm to his cheek, and I thought I heard a low growl come from Jasper, so I sent him a warning look. "Edward, what's she seeing?" Alice abruptly came out of her vision, and Edward concentrated again. He flinched, and my heartbeat sped up, as I noted the look of worry and confusion that was on his face, before he transformed his beautiful features into a crooked half smile.

"Interesting, Alice!" He laughed. I wasn't fooled for a second, but the rest of the family seemingly was. Rosalie and Emmett sped upstairs, as Carlisle took Esme's hand and led her into the garden. Jasper seemed pacified, too. I wondered if I was reading into things too much.

"What's interesting, Edward?" I asked, looking for an answer. He laughed, and shook his head, while Alice giggled. Jasper looked as confused as me, but he seemed to be trying to hide his confusion by staring at the floor. It was only when he looked up at me when he thought my gaze was elsewhere that I saw his confusion.

"I better not tell you Bella," He laughed again. "It's inevitable, and you'll just grumble about it until it happens, anyway, like you always do."

"Oh no!" I groaned. I knew what the vision was about, now. "You're not taking me shopping, Alice?!" She nodded, while Edward continued.

"Wedding shopping." He laughed, while I groaned, feigning horror. I tried to hide my discomfort. I'd completely forgotten that Edward and I were meant to be married... Why did I always forget? With this ring on my finger, I was surprised that the weight of it didn't give me a constant reminder!

"Edward," I said, trying to add in a seductive tone, "Can we go upstairs, now, please?" In the quickest of flashes, I was already up in Edward's room, and he was carrying me to the vast bed, bridal style. He laid me gently on the bed, and I sat up.

"No, Bella," He said, his voice seductive. I wasn't aware if it was intentional or not. He pushed me back down lightly, and lay down next to me, as I wormed my way into his arms. His scent was strong, and I realized I'd missed his scent the most. It was a guard, warning off nightmares, and it comforted me, though I wasn't asleep. I leaned in to kiss him, and he ran his hand up my thigh, pulling me on top of him in one deft movement. I gasped, as I felt every part of his body pressed up against mine. He rolled us over, quickly again, until he was on top of me. As he trailed kisses down my neck, he whispered into the hollow of my neck,

"Bella, I've missed you so much..." He trailed off, kissing me again. He stopped then, abruptly, and I was confused. What did he mean? "Do you think it'd be okay...if we tested my control a little?" I gasped in shock. He wanted to test his control? What did that mean? I was intoxicated by his scent, and I nodded.

"Of course I don't mind Edward, you should know that by now!" He said nothing further, pushing me back into a passionate kiss, trailing his hands all over my body. I was on fire, as he pushed my shirt further and further, and eventually, pulled it over my head. He trailed kisses down my neck, as I pushed up against him. He kissed my stomach, running his hands over my hips, then removed his lips from my skin for a moment. My eyes, fixed on his, noticed the change instantly. He stiffened, and pulled back abruptly.

"What the _hell _ are those?!" He shouted, looking at the angry bruises on my hips.


	13. Accident and Emergency

**Disclaimer : I own nothing, it's all Stephenie Meyer's. **

**A.N. - I love you guys so much! The amount of angry reviews I got was great :D Stuff along the lines of "are you evil?" and "how could you be so cruel?!" - it was pretty great – I love the angry reviews! I think I'll do some more cliffies from now on; I've got like, 90 something reviews since I posted that cliffy! And btw guys, I woke up 2 hours earlier than I had to today so that I could write this chapter. I deserve some love! Or more angry reviews, I don't mind! Hah, anyways, Vote on the Poll in my profile – Are you Team Jasper or Team Edward? Ooh, and sorry if you guys are offended by language, I felt the need to put it in.**

"Bella," Edward's usual velvet voice was a growl. "Bella, you better tell me now, what the hell are those?" I gulped. What could I tell him? "Bella!" He shouted again. The entire house must have been alerted by now. "Bella you tell me right _now_ what the hell those are?!"

"Um, they're, um..." I stammered hopelessly. What the hell could I say? Oh my god I was done for. I'm going to lose Edward forever. "Th-th-th-they're um, well, um.."

"Bella!" He shouted, "Stop fucking about! Tell me what those god-damn things are!" I whimpered. I had _never_ heard Edward swearing before. And never at me. He'd never been this angry with me.

"I, um...W-well I w-was, and, and Jasper, and-" Edward didn't wait for me to finish.

"JASPER!" His roar rang throughout the house, bouncing from wall to wall, alerting Jasper. (Though the entire house knew, before now) I covered my ears as he shouted again, while pulling me up roughly, and setting me on my feet.

A quiet knock came at the door. I knew it was Jasper, as did Edward, but he announced himself anyway. He didn't wait for us to answer, just opened the door slowly and came in. He'd obviously used vampire speed to get upstairs so quickly, unless he'd been outside the door, but now he was using a force slower than human speed. Like a police officer approaching someone who wasn't sane. I stole a look at Edward. He was fuming. He pushed me forward to meet Jasper.

"Are you going to explain _this_ ?" He growled. Jasper obviously decided to go for the 'I don't know what's going on' persona, because he fixed a confused look on his face.

"What do you mean, Edward? Explain Bella? Or explain Bella topless?" It was only then that I recalled I _was_ topless. Jasper had seen me in less, so it didn't really matter, but I tried to cover this up, for Edward's sake, so I wrapped my arms around myself.

"No!" Edward growled at me, and I clenched my fists tight, terrified out of my wits. He really did look like a vampire...he looked deadly. "Jasper knows what's going on, and you do too. So tell me _now!_" He shouted the last word, and reached his hand over to the bed post, mangling it until it was just a lump of crushed metal. Jasper and I were silent. "NOW!" He roared, and I cowered backwards. I pushed myself back against the wall, trying to make myself invisible. I was terrified.

It was at this point that Alice and Emmett decided to intervene. They came dashing up the stairs, and stopped dead in their tracks at the open doorway.

"Bella, what happened to you?!" Alice screeched, and ran over to me. Edward growled at Emmett then, because he was blatantly looking at me. Alice wrapped her arms around me, and I stifled a sob. I was absolutely terrified of Edward. He was like some kind of...monster. I shouldn't have thought that – I felt guilty about it already – I knew Edward wasn't a monster.

It was as Alice started dragging me out of the room that I noticed Jasper and Edward staring each other down. I gasped as I realized what was happening. They were squaring up for a fight. I fought against Alice's grasp, and once I'd gotten free, Emmett tried to pull me back again. Edward growled at him, and I got out of his grasp too.

I walked over to Edward, and put my hands on his face, training his gaze down to look at me.

"Edward, please. I can explain everything." He looked at me, his eyes black fire. "Please, Edward." He didn't listen. He growled at Jasper again, and then threw me out of the way, to where I stumbled into Alice's arms.

"Bella, you better explain this later, but right now we need to get you out of here." I shook my head, whimpering, trying to prise myself back out of the tiny pixie's grasp.

"Jasper, please!" I screeched. This seemed to be the last straw. Edward grabbed a lamp from the side of the bed, and hurled it at Jasper. He threw his arm out, and the object glanced off it, landing to the floor. "Please, Edward!" I screeched again, trying to claw my way back into his eye line, as Emmett tried to pacify me. Carlisle and Esme had arrived now, and Esme gathered me into her arms as I cried freely. Carlisle tried to calm Edward down.

"Edward, you don't know the whole story. Let's all calm down and we can talk about it once everyone's thinking in their right minds." Jasper nodded, agreeing with him.

"No, everyone is thinking in their right minds, Carlisle. I can hear everything Jasper's thinking, remember." He shot a look at Jasper. "And I don't believe you." I was mumbling incoherently by now, trying to calm him down, through my sobs. I was continuously trying to scramble out of Esme's arms.

"Please Edward!" I screamed hysterically. What had I done? Edward was growling uncontrollably. He wasn't listening to any of us. I shuddered as I thought of what he might be hearing in Jasper's mind.

It was as I thought this, that Edward reacted to something I couldn't see or hear – Jasper's thoughts, I assumed. He ran at Jasper, and Jasper, caught off guard, didn't see Edward until he was right on top of him. They both smashed into the wall, CDs raining down on them.

In shock, Esme let go of her hold on me, and I slipped to the floor. I was up again before anyone could do anything. Alice screamed at me, but I ignored her. The boys were still fighting. I ran over to Edward, and unaware that it was me, he picked me up and flung me at a wall. As I smashed into the wall, my entire body fell limp. The edges of my vision shimmered, as the Cullen family came running towards me. I saw one worried face before everything went black.

Jasper.

**I really _do _love angry reviews! :D x**


	14. The Light

**Disclaimer – I don't own a thing, so don't sue me, yeah? :)**

**AN – Oh you guys :) I'm so glad that you reviewed, like "ARE YOU SERIOUS!?", "OMG BELLA!" and "HE DID WHAT?"! And, my personal favourite - "I loved it... update soon please or I will either a) Hunt you down and whack you with my shoe because cliffies are mean" **_**lanna-misssunshine **_**you really made my day! ****I've got 100 or so reviews now – thank you guys so much! I couldn't help it – things weren't working out in my plot the way I wanted them to, so ****I decided to get Edward to slam Bells into a wall! I didn't hurt her too much, anyway! Sorry that this is so short, but I felt the need to post ****something before you guys killed me – and I love you all loads for reviewing, so yeah! ****Read ****on my loveys, and review please :D **

Time passed slowly, as I drifted through the blackness of unconsciousness. I heard random words floating past me, voices, faces that I knew. I could never hold on to them long enough to answer their questions. I felt like I was floating in a dark abyss.

My head pounded, and somewhere in the darkness, I smelt blood. I wondered if it was mine. It was cold in the darkness. I shook uncontrollably, for no reason, though I couldn't feel the cold properly. I was bodiless. But the sensation of the cold everywhere around me reminded me of Edward's cold arms.

But I didn't want those arms anymore. The same ones that had flung me away like a rag doll. He'd flung me away before. Not physically, but in a way. The Bella he didn't want anymore. Throw her away, she doesn't matter. I felt searing pain, now, but not like _that _pain. This pain was entirely different. It seared right through me; like a headache, but it was my entire body. I wondered if this was because I was trapped in my own mind, as my thoughts flitted away like butterflies.

I remembered the butterfly eyelashes. Jasper, cool against me. Jasper, the last face I'd seen. His eyes filled with worry as mine closed. If mine never opened again, I could manage that. I'd seen him, he who loved me. He who didn't hurt me.

Was Edward throwing me away to protect me? Did Edward still want me? Was this my fault? It was my fault. I knew it, all along, that someone would get hurt. I just...hadn't assumed it was me. I wanted to inflict more pain on myself, but as I tried to feel for my skin, to scrape away at the cells, I felt nothing. I tried to move my arms, to come into contact with something. But as much as I moved, nothing touched me.

Nothing could touch me here. I was alone. _Alone. _Jacob wouldn't have left me alone. But I'd left him alone. He was away somewhere, a wolf, I was sure. So that he couldn't feel the pain. Everyone had someone. Carlisle had Esme. Emmett had Rosalie. Jasper had Alice. Edward had me, even though he didn't want me.

Suddenly, there was another voice in the blackness. I thought I recognized it, but I wasn't sure. There was music, too. It felt like someone was turning on a radio, as the sounds buzzed into life. A male voice, distraught. A female voice, hysterical. There was a bright light. I wanted to go to the light. It was all I could see, shining out of the blackness. The light looked safe, like the haven of the Cullen home. No dark, there. No shadows. To the light, Bella. Go to the light.


	15. Lies

**Disclaimer as always, it's not mine.**

**AN – I'm surprised you guys didn't go into hysterics when I said 'go to the light'! When I sent it to my friend, to check her opinion, she was like "YOU KILLED BELLA, WHAT?!" - and that thought hadn't even occurred to me! I couldn't really write what I wanted to in that last chapter, because I was under pressure; gosh guys ;) No, really – I couldn't write a large chapter because I was cold, as usual – I don't know why, but I'm always freezing, and for some reason, I was shaking uncontrollably so I couldn't type :') But here we go. And please, review. It really makes writing more worthwhile :)**

I reached to the light, my hand stretching towards it. Wanting to be in its comforting, clean embrace. I could still hear the voices, though. They pestered me, pulled away my concentration like threads from a string. The man wanted the woman to go away. She didn't want to, because someone was her best friend. He said he wanted to be alone with this person, that she didn't need to be here right now. She shouted that he should stop thinking of himself. He said he wasn't thinking of himself. She shouted that he was hardly thinking of this someone when he did that. I wished I knew what everyone was making such a fuss about. It was all so cryptic.

I reached to the light again, until I was there. I gasped for the air in the light, as it burned my eyelids, pierced my half open eyes. I coughed, tasting blood on the back of my tongue. It was then I felt it. Blistering pain traveling through my head, tearing at every nerve-end, scratching the skin, poisoning my blood. I tried to sit upright, but a cold hand pushed me gently back down. I knew that movement well enough. When it had gone further than he'd wanted it to. When he didn't want to push his control.

"Edward?" I whimpered, hoping that it wasn't so. The voice that answered was not him.

"Er, no. I'll get him now..." I could hear the hurt in his voice, knowing that I was looking for Edward instead. But I must be dreaming, because it couldn't be him.

"Jasper?!" I wrenched my eyelids open, and sure enough it was him. I wondered how he could be with me in this room...his room...when I'd been bleeding. Because, I definitely had been. "Please...don't get him." He nodded, and came back to sit on the bed. I was comforted by his presence. "Um, Jasper...what have you told him about, er, what happened?" I desperately needed to know. I needed to get my story straight, because there would be questions galore once everyone thought that I was well enough to answer them.

"I told them the truth, Bella." He answered in an overly loud voice. This panicked me, and confused me more – how could he have told them _the truth_? He shook his head silently, and filled me with calm. He pointed to the doorway, and mouthed to me 'they can hear us.' I caught on instantly. He _hadn't _ told them the truth. I was instantly relieved.

"How could you have told them the truth, Jazz?" I said, playing along. I needed to know what he'd said. He realized this too, and continued.

"Bella, if I hadn't told them that I'd done it while we'd been play fighting, then they would have thought something worse." He answered in a normal tone, obviously not trying to fool them anymore. They would hear perfectly, anyway. "Edward just overreacted when he heard Carlisle's thoughts."

My eyes popped. "_Carlisle's _thoughts?! I thought he was reacting to hearing yours?"

"No, Bells." I didn't understand, but I felt my insides warm as he said my name so affectionately. "Carlisle forgot that Edward could hear him, and had an errant thought or two." I waited for him to tell me what those thoughts had been, but he didn't say anything, so I prompted him. "Oh, well, something along the lines of 'Maybe she got those before she blacked out, no wonder she thought he was going to kill her, that's understandable'." He was quiet then, as he began to remember how it had _really _happened. I shook my head vigorously at him, ignoring the stabbing pain, and pressed my finger against my temple, mouthing 'Edward'. It was almost laughable that we were sitting here, an overly clumsy patient, and a member of the un-dead, mouthing silent messages to each other, messages that we didn't want our loved ones to hear. "Yes, so it's all sorted. Um, I think Carlisle wants to come in to check up on you. Do you mind?" I shook my head.

"Of course not. Sure, come on in Carlisle." The calm faced doctor, my other father, walked into the room. He smiled at me.

"Hi Bella. I see we're up and awake. I rang Charlie. He thinks you fell down the stairs and crashed into the coffee table. You can stay here for a few more days if you want. I said that Alice was distraught that she hadn't taken better care of you, and wanted to tend to your every whim." He laughed, and I tried to join in, but the result was very feeble. "So, do you mind if I check your head? You got...quite a bump there. You lost a lot of blood." My eyes instantly shot to Jasper, and Carlisle's did the same. "Jasper, do you want to leave? There might be a bit of blood left over, and I don't want to-"

"No, I don't want to leave." Jasper cut Carlisle off, sharply. "I managed fine when it originally happened," Carlisle nodded. "And I don't think that that small amount of blood that would be let out into the open air will entice me. I can control myself." Carlisle nodded again, and gently rolled me to my side. I gasped as I felt the sheets graze against the back of my body. I had obviously been cut in more than one place.

"Yes, that might smart a little, sorry Bella. Your head was worst, but you've sustained a few cuts and bruises in your back. You're lucky that you didn't fracture your spine. There was a lot of force..." He trailed off, realizing that he was making Edward sound bad. I just couldn't believe Edward had done this to me.

As Carlisle checked over my wounds, applied more gauze and gave me some more painkillers, and Jasper watched, I realized that Edward, my protector, had put me in a state that was worse than what I'd come out of after his brawl with Victoria. I hadn't received a scratch, then. But now look at me. My lips, pressed into a tight line, shook involuntarily, along with the rest of my limbs.

I heard a gasp, as the door swung open, revealing the person standing there. He was covered in blood, and he looked haggard. His shoulders slumped, as if he carried a large amount of weight there. It was Edward.

"W-w-what have I done to you?" He whispered. I wanted to protest, but I couldn't. My body was shaking violently, as Carlisle tried to hold me down. I wanted to run, hide away. I wanted Jasper to keep me safe. Horror struck me for two reasons; but they both tied into one.

I was scared of Edward.


	16. Baby Steps

**Disclaimer, as always, I own nothing.**

**A.N. - Thanks for all of the reviews. You guys honestly don't understand how much of a smile gets put on my face when I wake up in the morning and see my inbox literally popping from alerts and reviews! I'll try and give you guys a longer chapter today, but it's not that easy, cause if I write long chapters all the time then I won't have enough material to fit into the 29 chapters I want to do! This chapter won't be very long, because now that I've got my plot set in stone, there isn't much I can do with this chapter. I'll try! It's taken me longer than usual, for no apparent reason. Thanks guys, and please review. :) Oh, and do any of you happen to have Crystal Castles – Alice Practice? Because i LOVE it, and can't find it anywhere! **

Edward came closer to me, slowly. I tried not to be scared but...the last time I'd seen his face, it had been followed by immense pain. I couldn't help remembering – it was subconscious, something I couldn't control. Carlisle had left, once Jasper had come to take his place. I wasn't shaking as much anymore, with Jasper's arm around me.

"Bella," Edward took a deep breath, but I could see he immediately regretted it. His eyes turned pitch black, and he took a step away from me. I whimpered, and cowered back into Jasper's arms. I could feel smugness radiating from him. Edward could feel it too – Jasper was giving us away. "Bella, I am so sorry I hurt you. I won't forgive myself for as long as I exist – if I do have a soul, then I'll still never forgive myself, even if my existence ends!" Jasper put his two arms through mine, and pulled me upright. My head pounded, but I had to answer Edward.

"Edward, I do forgive you...and you should forgive yourself. It was all just a misunderstanding. I'd rather we just forget it _all _now." I smiled weakly at him. I hoped he could forget it all – after all, he'd hurt me more than Jasper had. Upon seeing my smile, he reached out and put his hand on my knee, a gesture of kindness. I gasped, choking on the memory his touch brought to me. _Flying through the air, crashing into myself. The darkness._ I whimpered, and flinched away from his touch, as the tears started brimming over. Jasper looked alarmed. His feeble attempts to pacify me weren't really working. The memory was too much. The darkness. I could go back into it at any time. That place where I was truly alone. I shuddered, and Edward reached out to me. He stopped suddenly, and sent a sharp look to Jasper.

I was sent into hysterics. His eyes were black as night. As black as the darkness. Every look at him sent me back into it, that black space where I was unwanted. Jasper's presence didn't make any difference.

Never had I been scared of Edward. He'd saved me, countless times. He'd never hurt me physically. But now, he had. The Cullens always spoke of his inability to control his temper. Would I get the brunt of that, once I was tied to him for eternity? I had to hope not. Because I still intended to tie myself to him forever. Every human way before immortality. I still loved Edward, of course. But I was...terrified of him. It would take a while until things would work out, wouldn't it?

Edward seemed to realize this, too. "Do you think that, we could just talk, Bella?" He paused, as if he would regret what he said next. "Jasper or one of the others could stay, if you wanted them to. I won't hurt you, though, Bella." I nodded, but he misinterpreted it. "Jasper, do you mind, then?" He waved him away. I caught on suddenly, and protested wildly.

"No, I need Jasper here, I need someone here, I d-don't want to be alone again." This obviously hurt Edward immensely, and though he was quick to hide the pain from his beautiful face, it was still visible in his eyes. I tried not to look at them for too long, though. I didn't want to be trapped inside his eyes, in the endless darkness. He nodded, and then reached out to me. I pushed myself back into Jasper's arms, but I held Edward's hand anyway. As long as I concentrated, I could see Edward, not Edward who didn't want me anymore. Despite his gaunt and drawn expression, I could see my Edward under it. The Edward that loved me, that held my hand and kissed me when I was scared. The Edward that would always protect me. I took comfort in that.

Edward tried to remind me of all the good times we'd had, and I was glad of this. The more we talked, the more he touched me. Eventually, in the morning, he was sitting next to me on the bed. My head was on his shoulder. Jasper was holding my hand, sitting on a chair next to the bed. His expression was tortured, he couldn't hide it. I assumed this was because I wanted Edward with me, not him. I did want him...in some ways. In more than the physical, of course. I wasn't _that _ much of a teenager. But I loved Edward. And even after this little...hiccup in our relationship – well, it was more than that, but I could deal with it – and now I needed to concentrate on Edward.

By 9 o clock, Carlisle had to check up on me again. He looked happy to see Edward and I looking a little more like our usual selves. Though I wouldn't say it aloud, I couldn't have Edward's hand touch me. Jasper and Edward knew this, but not the extent of it. If his hand so much as came close to me, then I would shake like a leaf. Every time it neared, I could see him throwing me away. The blackness would come back, and I'd crawl back into Jasper's arms. We'd have to start all over again.

Alice came in with Carlisle, and sat on the bed next to me. Edward wouldn't move an inch from me, so she took Jasper's place. He kissed her briefly, and then walked out. Alice and I spoke for a bit, about trivial things. About the wedding, about my dress, about shoes. She said her, Rosalie and I would have to go shopping again, and go for another dress fitting. She left, then, not long after Carlisle. Edward and I were alone.

He smiled crookedly at me, and I felt my insides melt slowly.

"Bella...do you think I could," He paused, but I already knew what he wanted. "Do you think I could kiss you, Bella?" I nodded, silently. I could do this. I _loved_ doing this. He took a deep breath, hesitant. It reminded me of our first kiss. He leaned in, and I closed my eyes.

The second I felt his lips against mine, I forgot everything. I was drowning in him, breathing in his scent, tangling my hands in his hair. He didn't touch me – this was good, because it would have hurt. And probably dragged me back to the dark. We were connected at the lips, and he poured every bit of his apologies into me, and my lips answered everything, telling him I didn't care anymore. I didn't know who I was. I didn't know who I would be. I didn't remember a thing. All I knew was him, all I knew was his lips, cold and gentle against mine.

Then he pulled away. Everything came flooding back, but it was okay now. I wasn't scared of his touch, of his eyes. He knew this too. He kissed me lightly, and then pushed himself off the bed.

"Do you want to go back to our room?" He whispered. I thought about this, for a second. I didn't think I could, right now. It would just remind me. I couldn't rewind the damage, but I could do my best not to be reminded. I shook my head.

"I don't think I can." I whispered, my voice cracking. He nodded, and called out in an even tone, knowing she would hear.

"Alice?" She was there within the second. She smiled, and nodded. She held my hand and pulled me up from the bed, and I gasped in pain. Edward's features contorted, but he covered it quickly.

"Let's go get you cleaned up, Bella." She smiled.

Alice pulled me into her and Jasper's bathroom. I'd been in here before, for countless 'Bella Barbie' makeovers. I was careful not to look in the mirror. She helped me pull the white garment over my head – though I was unaware when it had been put on me. She turned the shower on, and turned around, eyeing the bruises Jasper had given me critically.

"You're going to have to explain, sometime." She said, and then walked out of the door, leaving me in the vast white bathroom. I would have to explain, sometime. I just hoped that wouldn't be until forever and a day had passed.


	17. Close

**Disclaimer as always, it's Stephenie Meyer's.**

**AN – Ach, I had a large amount of trouble with this. Which is why it's so tiny a chapter. Though, the fact that I couldn't write this and got bored, birthed the epilogue, the start of chapter 19 and the end of it! So there we go. But I'm sorry if this isn't very good, guys.**

I went home a few days later, and there were no questions asked. Edward and I were okay again, and my cuts were healing. Alice was apparently, terrified that they wouldn't heal in time for the wedding. She never listened to me, despite my constant pleas to slow down. We had over a month, almost.

I decided I needed a shower. Edward would be coming around an hour's time - maybe a little less - and Charlie wasn't home. I had ages. I knew Edward wouldn't be back until "...exactly 10:00, okay Bella? I won't be a second before or a minute after." I loved his smile, the way it was so crooked as it promised me. I hadn't looked him in the eyes properly since the incident. The darkness was a threat that I didn't want to provoke.

I left my clothes on my bed, and opened the window that had been closed in my absence. The grass was green, covered in morning dew. It was quite cold outside, but a nice day nonetheless. I was aware that there was no more danger to me, as were the Cullens, but they continued to have someone patrolling now and again. It was a nice day, albeit cloudy. I hoped they were making the most of it, not looking after me. I turned around and went into the bathroom. As I got undressed, I looked at the damage in the mirror. Jasper's hand prints were a light green color now, slowly fading away. The large gash in my head had been stitched back up, and all I had left of that incident were bruises and a few cuts.

I stepped into the shower, training my head under the stream of hot water. I bent down and picked up my shampoo, then massaged it into my scalp. It stung my cuts, and I winced. Carlisle said that I'd have the stitches out soon, and that they'd healed well. After washing the remaining suds out of my hair, I stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around myself.

I was eyeing the fading nail polish on my toenails, when I opened my bedroom door. I wasn't paying attention to anything at all, so when I heard a sharp intake of breath, I jumped out of my skin. And dropped my towel.

He was on me before I could move, pressing my body up against the door. I didn't break the kiss, like I should have. I was though, very aware that I wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing. His cold arms snaked up around my waist, up and around my hips, clutching at me wildly. The instant his tongue met mine, I didn't care. I didn't care that I wasn't wearing a stitch of clothing, even though I should have cared. I tugged at his shirt, and he let go of my body for a second to pull it over his head, then they were back, cold and dangerous against my skin. I pulled away, gasping for breath, as his lips trailed down to the indent above my collarbone. His arms, fixed around my waist, pulled me backwards with him towards my bed. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as he tugged us back onto my bed, with me on top of him.

My breathing was heavy, and I was glad there was no one else in the house. He flipped me underneath him, and his trousers were off in seconds. My heartbeat increased audibly, as he bent his lips to my skin. I could tell he was being overly careful, but I was too euphoric to care.

"How did you get here?" I gasped, as my hands explored the granite hard god on top of me.

"I was patrolling today, Bells." Jasper said, his voice low and throaty. "I know I shouldn't have come in, but I wanted to see you," He paused, gasping for breath as I nipped at his earlobe. "And then, you, and you were there, and," He stopped again, and brought his lips back to mine with a passion that wasn't far from violence. His hand left the small of my back and started trailing to the front of my body. I gasped as his freezing cold skin grazed the tender skin of my breast. "Are you going to do this Bella?" I nodded vigorously, and he brought his lips back to mine, while slipping his hand lower. I wasn't nervous at all, as his fingers ran lower, lower than Edward had ever been with me. He brought his lips back to mine, and -

"Bella!" Jasper hissed. "He's coming!" I gasped, and Jasper nearly threw me up off the bed, as he grabbed his clothes and ran downstairs, quick as a flash. I picked my towel up from the floor and wrapped it around myself, just as Edward jumped in through the window.

"Jasper's been here?" I thought I was going to be sick. How did he know, already?

"Er, he wasn't here, why?" Edward scoffed.

"Bella, I can _smell_ him. I can smell him all over _you._" I swallowed, and fixed an innocent look on my face.

"Okay, he was here earlier, but I don't know why you can smell him all over me." Edward's expression was getting angrier by the minute.

"Bella, I come back to you in a towel, smell my brother all over you, your lips are swollen and your heart beat erratic...What else am I meant to think?" I was on the defensive by now, so when I answered, it was a scathing hiss.

"Edward, I'm in a towel because I was about to go in the shower," I knew that my hair had dried by now, the amount I'd been sweating, "you can smell your brother on me 'cause he was in the same room as me, and as for my erratic heartbeat, did it occur to you it's because you've come back when I'm naked apart from one thin towel?"

"Oh. I didn't...Sorry Bells. You go in the shower, I'll stay here." I nodded and went back into the bathroom, scrubbing my skin vigorously to rid myself of Jasper's scent.

When I came back out, Edward wrapped his arms around my dripping wet figure, inhaling my scent.

"I'm sorry, Bella." And I could tell he was. "You smell so good when you're wet." I could hear a smile in his voice, and I reached my head up to kiss him.


	18. Safe Place

**Disclaimer as always, ****Stephenie Meyer owns it all, I own nothing and I make no profit from this story etc. **

**AN – This is a really long not, sorry guys, but there's things I need to get down first. Sorry about the last chapter guys, it was REALLY crappy. . It was so OOC of Bella, I'll try and make this one a bit better, ok? Plus, when I was reading it, trying to follow on when writing this chapter, I noticed the spelling flaws. SO SORRY! I'll try not to do it again, tbh it's cause I was rushing. There might be a few in this one, considering I am knackered and it's a long chapter. I won't be able to update as often as I'd like (and as you guys would like) because I'm really busy now that Easter's over, and all the work's back in full swing. As always, review, please!?**

**OOH, AND I HAVE A BREAKING DAWN SPOILER , th****ough most have you have probably seen it, pah, I know the lex said it **_**was **_** legit, but do you guys think so?!**

Edward tucked my head under his chin as I nestled into him comfortably.

"What I was going to ask you before was if you wanted to come over to my house, for today. Esme suggested it, and Alice said she wouldn't go over any wedding plans after Esme said you needed a break." I smiled. Esme really was an angel. "So how about it?"

"Yeah that would be great, actually Edward. I haven't seen Esme in so long." He smiled.

"I thought you'd say that."He smiled again, but it was softer this time. I knew that smile. He was trying to butter me up. Something bad was coming. "I didn't bring my car, so do you mind running?" I knew it! "Or, we could use your car if you don't want to run."

I thought about this, briefly. If we ran then he'd probably come across Jasper's trail. It couldn't be that old, and it would invite unwanted questions.

"Would you mind if we used my car? It's been out of use for a while now, and I don't want it to get rusty." I laughed.

"I don't think it could get any rustier Bella!" He chuckled, tossing me onto the bed and tickling me. After I'd finally stopped laughing and screaming, and my hiccups had almost subsided, Edward continued. "But yes, I'm fine with taking your truck."

We walked downstairs hand in hand, and I locked the door quickly. The longer we were around my house, the more chance of Jasper's scent being discovered. He'd been gone an hour or so, but that was like seconds to vampires, I supposed. I didn't trust Edward, at the moment - the way that he had accepted my excuses so easily. He couldn't really believe them could he? I couldn't risk adding to any suspicions he already had. He lifted me up easily into the truck cab, and was around the other side before I'd even closed the door.

We chattered idly as I drove to the Cullens' home, and Edward played with his ring on my finger, twisting it this way and that, so that the diamonds caught the light. As always, I didn't trust Edward's driving – it scared me too much. When I pulled up in front of the house, Edward's expression hardened, and his eyes grew anxious.

"What? What's happened?!" I shrieked. I was overreacting, but being cooped up with a bunch of jump-in-front-of-a-bullet-for-you indestructible vampires was starting to put me on edge. Plus, I had a danger-magnet complex, right?

"No, no, it's nothing." He paused, listening for the next thought. "Did you and Jasper ever watch Moulin Rouge together?" I nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, we watched it while you were away hunting." I remembered him laughing as I sang, and when he'd kissed me...Edward smiled, but it wasn't his usual one. Jasper must have been thinking about it.

"You've got quite the voice, my beautiful Bella!" He chuckled, and I punched him playfully. I doubted he'd even felt it, but he humored me anyway.

"Let's go in, I better stop Jasper before he starts thinking about my amazing part in 'Come What May'!" I laughed, but then noticed he was frowning.

"You can't talk to Jasper." I frowned, about to ask him why, but he answered for me. "He locked himself up in his and Alice's room about an hour ago, apparently." We stepped in through the front door, and I stopped as he reached behind me to pull the door closed. "Can't you hear the music?" When he said it, I could. It was blaring, in fact. I couldn't even begin to imagine the excruciating pain the straight up screaming and riffs were causing Jasper and the rest of the Cullens. I nodded, acknowledging the music.

"Why won't he come out?" He shrugged, and shook his head.

"I don't know – none of us do. Alice asked me to check his thoughts, but all I could find was...well, him rifling through a lot of memories..." He sniffed, and I waited for him to continue. What were these memories about? What could have caused him to change instantly, from the Jasper that had been kissing me, to the Jasper locked in his room trying to make his ears bleed?

"What memories were they?" I said, looking up to meet Edward's gaze. He seemed reluctant to answer, so I pushed a little. Eventually, he gave up.

"They were memories of you. He seems to have more than I thought he did." I frowned. Jasper was thinking of _me_? Why would he do that? The music softened suddenly, and I heard an acoustic guitar playing. "Come on, Bella, lets get out of here before it starts up again, this one's the worst of them all." I looked at him stupidly. Acoustic guitar, the worst? He understood my expression instantly, and continued. "I think it's the lyrics that are worst, not the music as much. Alice tries to hide it, but she hates them. It's good that he doesn't listen to it a lot, because they upset her. She thinks that they're somehow directed at her. Something about her lying." He turned to me quickly, holding my face in his hands. "Please, Bella, lets get out of here. Not necessarily from the vicinity of the house, but just away from the noise. It's painful." His expression was so tortured that I felt I had to oblige.

"Okay, can we go to the forest behind the garden?" He smiled crookedly, and pulled me out to the garden quick as a flash.

Then, his expression changed as he concentrated. He was probably listening to Jasper's thoughts again, or another one of the Cullens'.

"Bella, do you think you could go up and talk to Jasper?" I frowned at him.

"Why?"

"Alice just had a vision. She saw you going up to speak to him. He let you in. She couldn't see anything else apart from that."

"Okay, I'll try." Edward took my hand and led me back into the house. He didn't seem to be in a rush to get me up there, because he let me walk myself up the stairs. As we turned around the corner, I could see Alice. My heart nearly broke at the sight of her.

She was curled up into herself, cross legged on the floor. She was leaning against the bedroom door, banging softly. She'd obviously grown tired. I was sure if she could, she'd be crying. I ran over to her, dropping down onto the floor next to her. She looked up at me briefly with sad eyes, and then flopped her head back down again.

"She said she'd do it, Alice." Edward said, kneeling down next to us. She looked up, her eyes glittering now that a glimmer of hope had presented itself.

"Knock the door, he'll let you in." She whispered, and I could barely hear her. Her voice was hoarse, on top of the blaring of the music.

I stepped up to the door cautiously, trying to ignore the pain that was being inflicted upon my protesting ears. I swallowed, overly aware of the two anxious vampires behind me. I didn't know why they were paying so much attention; after all, they already knew what would happen. I spoke softly, hoping that he could hear me.

"Jasper, can you let me in please? It's Bella." The door opened in a flash and it happened so quick that once I was in, I had to catch up. It wasn't easy with the music.

Jasper had opened the door as quick as a flash once he heard my name, and his hand shot out, dragging me in quickly. The door shut instantly behind me and he locked it again. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his head in my hair. I was locked in his death-grip hug, so it gave me a chance to catch up.

"Bella," He whispered so low that I wasn't even sure if I heard him say it at all. "Bella, my Bella." He paused and pushed me away from him a little, so I could see his face. "We were so close." I nodded, hoping that my stupid teenage emotions wouldn't fail me now.

"Jasper," I said, barely able to hear myself over the music that was blaring from the sound system, "Can you turn the music down, please? I know it's hurting my ears, so it must be making yours _bleed_." He laughed, probably at the notion of him bleeding, but shook his head.

"I don't want to risk being overheard. You have no idea how much I needed to see you Bella." I smiled weakly at him. "Come on!" He laughed, and dragged me into the bathroom. I turned around, looking this way and that. Why was he bringing me here? He shut the door, but left the bolt unlocked. He sat down in the bath, hanging his legs over the edge. "Come sit."

I slipped down, sitting next to him in the bath.

"You better start telling me what's wrong so that I can tell Alice and Edward that every thing's okay."

We talked for hours, about trivial things, and some worries of Jasper's, though they were for Edward's benefit. We knew that Edward would be listening, so I never found out what was really wrong with Jasper. The CD kept running, over and over, until it's blaring beats started lulling me into subconsciousness. I rested my head on Jasper's shoulder and continued talking.

"You know, it's not like I can't control myself," he said. "No one trusts me, at all." I wasn't sure whether he was playing it up for Edward's sake, or because he really felt this way.

"I trust you Jasper! Look, we've been in this enclosed room for hours, and you haven't eaten me yet, have you?"

"No," he laughed weakly. "Not _yet_." He laughed, and inclined his head, ready to kiss me.

The door came swinging open, and Edward and Alice came barging in.

"Get away from her Jasper!" Edward growled.

"What?! What?" I exclaimed, confused.

"Alice had a vision of Jasper about to bite you." He growled, as he hauled me up from the tub. "What the heck were you doing in here for so long, anyway?" He said, cradling me to his chest, as Alice slipped into the tub with Jasper, knocking her ankles against his playfully as she rested her head on his shoulder, where mine had just been. I knew that I would rather it be me there, and Jasper obviously thought the same, by his rigid posture, but he stroked her hair, anyway. I tried to ignore the hot taste in my mouth. Jealousy wasn't one of my favorite emotions, by far.

"We were talking Edward." I said, angrily. I was taking many things out on him, unfairly, now. I'd lost a kiss with Jasper, I was jealous..."I know you were listening. Jasper was just joking! He wasn't going to bite me." Looks of realization dawned on Alice and Edward's faces.

"Oh. Sorry, Jasper." I coughed. "And you, Bella. We shouldn't have been so hasty." I nodded, mollified a little. "Come on Bells, let's get you home. We can stay at yours for the rest of the night, seeing as most of the day is gone." He sounded a little bitter, but managed to pull it off as he laughed.

Edward dragged me out of the door by one hand, and I turned around a little to wave to Jasper and Alice. Alice waved back at me, mouthing 'thank you'. Jasper said nothing, he just winked.


	19. Angel

**Disclaimer as always: The characters aren't mine, they're all the lovely Stephenie Meyer's.**

**AN: Not much to say in this AN – except I kinda think the standard of my writing isn't as good as it was at the start of this fic. Truthfully, would you guys tell me if it was? Review, please guys. **

It was early the next morning when I woke up in my comfy bed. It was just like any other morning, apart from the fact that the bed was warm. Edward was long gone. He never usually left until I woke up – this unnerved me. I got out of bed, and looked around my room for a note. There wasn't one. I went into the bathroom, and showered. Once I'd finished and I was dressed – in the deep blue v-neck blouse that I knew Edward loved- I walked downstairs, reaching up into the cupboard to get the cereal. I turned around, and began to approach the fridge. My head was down, so his feet were the first thing I saw. I gasped, clutching at my chest, my head still down.

"You scared me!" I accused. "Where were you?" I looked up then, and what I met nearly stopped my heart. Edward's eyes were black. I tried to cling to reality as the darkness threatened to engulf me. "W-w-what's wrong?"

"Don't even _think_ about lying to me Bella." Somewhere in the back of my mind, not letting me register until later, I knew that I was shaking. I couldn't help it, but I was playing and re-playing the incident in my mind.

"I-I-I won't, Edward. Please tell me what's wrong." I whispered, and he began nearing to me. I realized I'd backed away from him, right up to the kitchen counter on the other side of the room.

"Okay then. If I tell you why I left you, then you better answer my questions." I nodded, because he seemed a little pacified. "Truthfully." he added. I nodded vigorously again. "Okay then, I'll tell you why I left. I left because you were talking in your sleep." I frowned, but part of me already knew what was coming next. How much was I sacrificing? "So now you answer my questions. Why were you saying Jasper's name in your sleep?" I began to stammer, but he didn't wait for my answer. " 'So close Jasper, so close.' Are you going to explain that, Bella?" I took a deep breath, but he cut me off again. "I'm tired of feeling like there's something I'm missing. I can't search your thoughts, but I can search his. And the same things come up over and over." He didn't sound angry now. He was pleading; it broke my heart. I knew I'd have to lie, though I hated doing it. "Alice is blind, practically. We're tired of it. I told you our family doesn't have secrets, what is it that you can't tell us? That you can't tell _me_? I want to be there for you Bella, through everything. What are we missing? What's happened that we don't know about? What is it Bella?"

A tear trickled down my already stained cheek. "I told you I wouldn't lie to you." He nodded. "But I can't tell you." His jaw tightened and he looked down. He nodded.

"Okay, Bella." I stifled a sob, as it threatened to escape my lips. The tears ran freely, though. "I know you'll tell me, some day. Whatever it is Bella, you know I'll still love you. No matter what. No matter what you've done, whatever secret you're keeping, I'll still love you. I won't ever push you for it, okay Bella? You can tell me tomorrow, I don't care. You can tell me the day after tomorrow, or you can tell me in a hundred years, or a thousand. I don't care. I just want to be there for you, okay? I'll be there for you through it all, whenever you need me. I love you, Bella. And I'm sorry, if I've done anything. I don't want to...drift away from you. And that's what it feels like we're doing. I need you in my life, existence, whatever. I need you with me. I won't ever stop loving you Bella, my beautiful, beautiful Bella." He reached his arms out to me, and I tried to step forward, but I fell instead. He caught me in his arms instantly, and cradled me there. "I will never let you fall, Bella." I couldn't answer him, for the second I opened my mouth to speak, the sobs were unleashed. I shook in his arms, and he stroked my hair.

"I wouldn't have said a thing if I'd known it would have done this to you Bella." Now I was making him feel _guilty_? What else would I do to him?

"N-n-n-no, Edward." I stammered, as the tears incapacitated me. "It's m-m-my fault. I sh-sh-sh-should tell you, b-b-but I can't." My voice cracked again on the last word, and he bundled me up in his arms.

"Shh, Bella." His silky voice calmed me, and I rested my head against his icy chest, trying to get the tears to subside. After they'd calmed somewhat, he continued quietly, whispering into my hair. "I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars."

"That's pretty." I said, smiling up at him. "Who said that?" He laughed then, and I looked up at him, confused. "What?"

"You said it, Bella!" I frowned. Had I? He seemed to understand my expression. "Yes, on that day when I was asking you questions." I nodded, realization sinking in. I didn't think that any more, though. I was scared of the dark. "I learnt so much about you, in those few days." I raised my eyebrows.

"Really?" He nodded.

"Yes. It made the workings of your mind a little more clearer to me, to be honest." I nodded, and I could tell by his expression that he wanted to say something more – maybe along the lines of "But I can't understand your mind at all, any more." or "So that's how I know you're cheating on me." - but he didn't.

We sat in silence for a while, and then he jumped up.

"You might want to go get cleaned up; Alice won't be long."

"Alice?" I knew what was coming. I groaned.

"Yes, you're going shopping."


	20. Knowing

**Disclaimer, as always. I don't own Twilight, or the characters! **

**A.N. - Hm, I don't really have an AN today . Thanks for the last set of reviews, and again - review, please!**

Nothing fancy, nothing fancy, nothing fancy. How many times had I told her? "Alice," I tried to breathe in and out evenly. She wasn't _trying_ to aggravate me, after all. She just was. " I already told you, I like those ones," I told her, pointing to a simple bouquet of freesias. Edward liked freesias - even though he said they didn't compare to my scent- so I liked freesias. But Alice was adamant on bluebells -bluebells!- with the edges of the petals covered in a 'subtle white glitter'. I didn't know why – fair enough, the wedding was white and blue, but you could get white freesias, obviously! She acted like she didn't even hear me, continuing on through the large ring binder. I let my mind wander while she started muttering to Rose about arrangements.

"Right, Bella!" Alice announced in her singsong voice, "Shopping trip!"

I groaned loudly. "Can't you go without me?"

Alice scoffed, and Rosalie snickered. "Bella, it's a dress fitting! We need _you_!"

I grumbled under my breath as Rosalie patted my shoulder. "It won't take long, Bella." I smiled back at her greatfully. Rosalie and I weren't as thick as thieves, but she'd warmed greatly to me ever since I had asked her to be one of my bridesmaids. I realized then that I'd asked two more people to be my bridesmaids – how _was _Alice keeping up? I counted them in my head. Alice, Rosalie, Angela, Jessica.

"Alice, did you know-" She spun around, and faced me with an incredulous look on her face.

"Yes, I did, and yes, I have." I grumbled again, and Rosalie laughed while dragging Alice and I out to the M3.

"Ca-can't I at least say goodbye to Edward?" I sniffed, scrunching my nose up. Anything to get out of going shopping. I wanted to say bye to Jasper too, but he'd re-exiled himself to his and Alice's room.

"EDWARD, BELLA SAYS BYE!" Alice shouted, unnecessarily. "There," she smirked, turning to me in the back of the car – Rosalie had called shotgun, seeing as Alice insisted on driving. "You said goodbye. Happy now?" She didn't wait for my answer. "Lets go!" She put the pedal to the metal, and the car screeched down the road. If all my breath hadn't been knocked from my lungs the second we'd begun moving, I would be screaming. Alice didn't slow down though, and I closed my eyes, pushing my head in between my legs.

The ride was very long, despite the speed Alice had been driving at. The trees had been flying past at blinding speeds, and it didn't help that I had two absurdly beautiful vampires in the two front seats screeching to whiny rock songs to add to it. Somehow, though, their screeching sounded perfect, too. Damn vampires.

I became aware, at some point, that I was in the wedding dress store. Alice was speaking to the woman behind the counter like an old friend. She had white blonde hair, in a Marilyn Monroe style cut. Her glasses were pushed down to the end of her nose, and she looked at Alice over them, as they talked quietly. It didn't take a genius to realize that the woman was a vampire, but she definitely had contacts in – her eyes were a piercing shade of green.

Alice pulled the dress over my head at vampire speed, as she fluffed out bits here and there. I scowled. I didn't like this dress at all. I did like the one that Alice had already shown me, but that had disappeared. Alice had Edward check everyone's thoughts, but we couldn't find it. She said it didn't matter, and at least this one would be a surprise, now.

"Ooh!" She cooed, and I crossed my arms. "You look like Cinderella! Like a princess! I think we should get this one, don't you agree Rose?" Rosalie shook her head.

"No, it's not Bella. Bella's dress should be something simple!"

The argument went on and on as my thoughts drifted elsewhere. Eventually, the girls chose my dress - I think they went with Rosalie's choice - and scheduled another appointment. I was jolted back to awareness when we sat in a tiny diner and the waitress was asking for our order. Alice and Rosalie were looking pointedly at me.

"Er, sorry, what was on the menu again?" I asked, scrunching my nose up. Alice and Rosalie were well aware that I hadn't been listening, but they still wanted to see me struggle. The waitress sighed and read out the menu again, while Rosalie quietly snickered. I ordered a cheeseburger and milkshake, but my eyes were locked on Alice. Her face was blank, and Rosalie and I leaned forward across either side of the table, waiting for her to come out of it. She blinked suddenly then threw her face down into her hands.

"Alice?" I said, reaching out to her. "Alice what did you see?" She stifled a sob. I almost wished she could cry, because I knew how much better I felt after I'd cried myself out.

"I don't know what to do any more," she sniffed. Rosalie and I exchanged confused glances. "He's always so...empty. Ever since we left him with you, Bella, he's changed. And I just don't know what to do. And now he's back in that room. The only time he's alive is when he's with _you_, and I don't know what to do." She sniffed again, trying to compose herself.

"What did you see, Alice?" Rosalie asked, repeating the question. Alice looked up at her, her pixie like features twisted into a frown.

"Edward's going to try and talk to him. Well, he tries talking to him, and he just sits there. It's like the light has left his eyes. I don't know what to do with him, any more. He's not the man I married." She broke off again, and I put my arm around her, reaching across the table. I didn't think now was the time to tell her that technically, he wasn't a man.

"Alice, there's nothing wrong with Jasper. He's fine with me. Whatever you've seen, it's probably just because he's missing you." I smiled at her, but her face went from dead to angry in milliseconds.

"That's the point, Bella. He's fine when he's with you. But he's not with me, or anyone else. We've all known him longer, we're his family, I'm his _wife_. But still, you're more comfort to him than me. And it doesn't help that I keep on getting flashes that I can't understand! I even got a vision of you _kissing_ - but that was only momentarily, and I know it didn't happen because I was with you the entire day." I stiffened unconsciously, and Rose shot me a look. "And all I know is what I can get from this entire sorry situation is that he wants _you_," she growled, and I was frozen in place. "And not _me_." I shook my head, protesting.

"No, no, no, Alice! He loves you – it's just that I'm the only one who trusts him, or so he thinks! He knows he can control himself around me, and so do I, but no one else seems to be able to see it, and it upsets him. That's _all_, Alice." Rosalie nodded, but as I returned from Alice's side, Rose gently pinched my hand under the table. I was used to these tricks by now.

"Al, why don't you go freshen up in the bathroom? Bella and I'll wait here for her food to come, okay?" Rosalie smiled gently at her, and patted her shoulder as she got up. Within seconds, she was gone, and Rosalie and I were alone.

"I know."

"Know what?" My voice was an octave higher than normal, giving me away.

"About you and Jasper."

"I, er, don't know what you're t-t-talking about." I stuttered and stammered. How did she know?

"Jasper and I were meant to swap, when he was on patrol that day. I've taken to looking after you, too, you know."

"Er, thank you, Rose, but you've totally lost me." I tried playing innocent, but it wouldn't work, depending on what she'd heard. Or seen.

"Don't try playing dumb, Bella." Her voice was low, and unintentionally menacing. It was still soft though, somehow. It was like she was addressing a child. "I turned up and I couldn't find Jasper. So I followed his scent to your window. It was obvious to me why he hadn't heard me coming – you two were _pretty_ occupied." I began hyperventilating, and Rosalie put her hand on my shoulder. "Don't get worked up, Bella. I'm not mad at you." I looked at her, confused. "But you better be quiet now, Alice won't be long and your food's coming. We can talk about this again."

Alice came back not long after, looking more composed. I'd already finished my food by the time she'd come, so we paid and left. The car ride home was a bit better – Rosalie was driving and she was making sure not to scare me. This time, I joined in with the whiny rock songs. The Cullens really had luck (and money) on their side, because the amount of unreleased CDs they'd had exclusively was making my head whirl.

When we got back to the Cullen home, Alice had perked up considerably. Rosalie parked the car in the garage, and I smiled as I noticed Edward's tan jacket thrown in the back seat. It brought back so many memories. We walked through the front door and Edward kissed me, but I knew there were emotions underlying the kiss.

"Bella, I think we need to talk." I pushed away from him, staring in horror.

"What?!" He was going to call off the wedding, he'd found out about Jasper...What did he want to talk about? My thoughts were cut off as I realized that we weren't in the room alone, and we hadn't been the entire time.

"His eyes upon your face," he whispered. _Don't do this Jasper!_ I silently pleaded. Why couldn't Jasper have been the mind reader? And more to the point, why couldn't he hear me in his mind!? "His hand upon your hand, his lips caress your skin, It's more than I can stand." Jasper whispered bitterly under his breath. Edward's face flickered up to meet his tortured gaze. Jasper continued quietly. "Why does my heart cry? Feelings I can't fight - You're free to leave me but just don't deceive me," I was having trouble breathing as he continued. "And please believe me when I say _I love you_." My breath caught in my throat, and I choked back a sob. I wouldn't show Edward what I'd done. Rosalie already knew, and I couldn't hurt him that way, no matter why Rosalie wasn't mad at me. I stared Jasper down as he turned around, and flew up the stairs.

"Bella," Edward started. "That happens to have been a good introduction to what I want to talk to you about..." I gulped, and turned to look at him. "I want to talk to you about Jasper."


	21. Jump The Gun

**Disclaimer, I don't own it, it's SM's!**

**AN – There won't be a chapter tomorrow, sorry guys! I have plans that'll keep me occupied all the time, sorry! But it'll be up on Saturday, I think :) Thanks for your reviews etc guys – always means a lot. Sorry that this is such a short chapter, but I'm pretty stressed at the moment, and I haven't really got enough time to get what I want down. There'll be a pretty long chapter up on Saturday, I think – or two short ones! Thanks for your support, guys, and your reviews make me happy. Keep 'em coming!**

"Look, Bella, the thing is," Edward paused, hesitant. I nodded curtly, spurring him on, though I kept my expression clipped. "Well, as you know, I've been checking Jasper's thoughts, because Alice and I – and pretty much every one – have been worried. And all I could find was you." His face was grave, as I gasped,

"Me? What do you mean?"

"You." He said, obviously trying to keep his expression under the same control mine had been under – though I knew he was angry. "Always you. Little scattered memories, small things – like you smiling at him or one of us, you singing with him...Some things like you looking out of your window when he was patrolling, things like that. They pop up unexpectedly, and when I search I find they're always there."

"Well what's wrong with those?" I said, trying desperately to stop him from confirming what I already knew. "They're just memories of what he's seen in passing, or, yeah, in passing!"

"Those are memories, yes." Edward's angel face stared down at me, and by now he'd given up on hiding his feelings about the situation. "But then he has thoughts. Thoughts of kissing you. And _more_. There's countless situations running through his head – there were ones where he jumped through your window and you dropped your towel," I flinched but he didn't seem to notice.

"But I'm not going through the mechanics of that one...and another one where you were kissing up against the kitchen counter...Bella, it's blatant to me, it's staring me in the face." I swallowed. I knew what he didn't – these weren't thoughts, imaginings. These were memories. And now he knew, somewhere, whether he was trying to convince himself otherwise. "He'd been working hard to hide them, but it wasn't easy for him – I've had a lot of practice reading his mind. He's stopped trying to hide it, by now." I nodded, no longer protesting.

"Bella, I think Jasper is in _love_ with you."

"What?!" I screeched. I didn't want to hear this! "Jasper doesn't love me, he loves Alice!"

Edward shook his head. "I know that, Bella. But you know better than anyone that it's possible to love more than one person."

"I DON'T LOVE JASPER!" I shrieked, getting ahead of myself.

"I meant Jacob, Bella."

"Oh." I looked down, feeling the rush of blood to my cheeks. "Edward, isn't it possible that you've jumped the gun a little? Maybe Jazzy just feels close to me because I'm the only one who seems to trust him around me. You warn him not to get close, just like Alice. There's no wonder he thinks about me now and again."

Edward nodded. "Maybe. And I'm sorry I tried to make you talk about it. But I think you jumped the gun a little too, Bella. I never said you loved Jasper." I could tell that I'd really put my foot in it by saying that – it was making him think. And there was very little worse than when Edward got thinking. Edward thinking had made him leave me before.

"Yes, I did jump the gun, just like you. So we're equal now, right? I love it when we compromise." I smiled teasingly at him and pulled him closer to me.

"But we didn't compromise, Bella!" He exclaimed, before I secured him to me, wrapping my arms around his stony neck, almost throwing myself at him. By the time our lips finally met, he was sufficiently silenced.

It hurt me a little to use kissing as a weapon of some sort against Edward. But by the time he broke the kiss _again_, I was past caring. It was like I was becoming a cold machine, almost. I didn't always care – but of course, I cared some. As Edward drove me home, I fought back tears. He'd made me think about everything that had been going on.

Did I love Jasper? After all, I was starting to think that I liked him a bit more than I had originally thought. But a life without Edward in it was not worth living, I knew from experience. And my wedding was soon. How could I do that, hurt him? I would say goodbye to Jasper, whatever it took. I wouldn't be able to do it for a while though, I realized. Edward wouldn't leave me alone with him, no-one would.

I left him in my room as I got ready for bed, letting the water rush over me. I opened my eyes, and let the water run into them, stinging me as the shampoo worked its way into my eyes. I didn't want to see myself any more. I didn't want to see anything. I began wondering, as I sunk down to the floor of the shower. I was a monster, no doubt about it. And I couldn't even control myself like Edward did. I couldn't control myself like Jacob did. I couldn't control myself like Jasper did. I was as much in control as Bree, the newborn. And soon I would be a newborn. I was selfish, and I wondered what kind of vampire I would make – selfish enough to kill a human? To end a life? To end a life even though I knew from experience the terror that came with knowing you were at your demise?

Edward didn't comment on my red eyes, or my prolonged shower. I slipped under the covers, and he wrapped his arms around me securely. I was safe.

"Sweet dreams, Bella. I love you, beautiful. You'll always be mine, no-one else's. And I'll never leave you. I love you so much, my Bella." I drifted off into a deep slumber in his cold arms, but what he said had shook me, and his words starred in my dreams. In my nightmares. _My Bella. Mine, no-one else's. _

All of a sudden, the encircling arms I usually welcomed felt like a prison.


	22. Understanding

**Disclaimer – Me No Own! :)**

**A.N. -Sorry this one took so long guys. I feel really out of control; I've got loads of things to do, and writer's block with this...Agh. Thanks for your never ending support guys, it means more than you can imagine. **

When I woke up the next morning, the rain was hammering against my window, and I was unusually cold. I was of course, used to being cold – but it wasn't as comforting as usual. I shook off the feeling quickly, though, and turned around to face Edward. His beauty still took my breath away.

"Hello, beautiful." He smiled, and pressed his lips to my forehead. _That_ sinking feeling hits the pit of my empty stomach again. Beautiful – I wasn't anywhere near it. Edward and the rest of the Cullens were glorious perfection, but I wasn't. I wondered why he even wanted to be with me. Why he ever had. "Bella, I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, alarmed at his words and tone.

"I'm sorry, but you've got wedding plans with Alice today." I nod, and laugh then.

"That wasn't nice," I say, and for a moment he looked completely astounded. "I thought it was something much worse than that, by the way you said it! You scared me!" I chided, and he chuckled softly, as he kissed my hair.

"Since when have you thought that there was something worse than wedding plans with Alice?" He asked, looking curious. Sometimes, I wished he could read my mind, because his ridiculous analyzing and questions really did infuriate me. But then again, I'd have to be constantly careful around him.

"I don't know, I still think wedding plans and shopping in general with Alice is bad, but I assumed something bad had happened, that's all."

He frowned. "What did you think?"

"I don't know, Edward, okay? I'm going to get ready." I knew he could hear the irritated tone of my voice, but he said nothing. He stroked my hair and nodded, jumping out of my bed before I'd even had the chance to sit up. I picked up my wash bag and walked across to the bathroom, securing the door behind me. I slipped down to the floor, putting my head in my hands.

I felt out of control, lately. My entire body ached – for different reasons. Pain, lust, love, lack of knowledge. I struggled to be enthusiastic about anything other than being with Jasper, even though I knew the consequences. I was exhausted emotionally and physically. All I wanted was for everything to be normal again.

Once I was done, I walked back to my room and slipped into Edward's waiting arms.

"How are you feeling?" He asked, inhaling the scent of my hair as he buried his face in it.

"Tired." I answered, smiling weakly. "What about you?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Happy." He said, his golden eyes melting into mine. "I'm with you, aren't I?" I smiled, and stretched my head up to crush my lips against his.

All of his phrases and promises made me happy – though they could be a little sappy. I expected him to pull away as per usual as my body subconsciously made my intentions clear, but this time, he didn't. Ours tongues fought for dominance as his hand trailed up my shirt, his cold fingers grazing my skin, making me shiver. I welded my body to his, sighing happily. Abruptly, he was removing his hand from my skin, and his tongue from my mouth.

"We need to go, now." I could tell it was difficult for him to keep calm. I'd attached myself to him, the one thing that had been in the rules not to do, right from the beginning. "Alice has got a lot of wedding planning for you today." He smiled, and I was surprised to see the tension gone. "Let's go." He said, lifting me up from the seat with him, softly pressing his lips to mine. I stayed like stone.

By the time we got to the Cullen household, I was almost one hundred percent sure that my hand was actually welded to Edward's. I couldn't wait to marry him, I thought, as I looked at my ring. When I looked back at him, he was looking at me, smiling. We walked to the house hand in hand, and Alice came bounding up to me.

"Come on, Bella! Rose is waiting upstairs." She dragged me away from Edward, and the second I lost contact, I felt a sense of loss. Like I always had. Things were back to normal. I felt a large sense of relief, because I'd been stupid last night. Once we reached the room, I did a double take. Jasper was sitting cross legged on the bed, motionless. Once I came into the room, Jasper stood up, not looking at either of us as he walked out.

"See you later Jazzy!" Alice called, and was quick to hide her worried expression. Rose smiled a greeting to me as I shut the door behind us. I flopped down on the floor next to Rose as Alice dug up her wedding file.

I tried to obtain an optimistic outlook. "So, Al, what's on the agenda today?"

"Bella, I _really _wish you hadn't said that." Rose sighed.

"Why?" I asked, confused.

Rosalie laughed, but her eyes held a little terror. "Because now she's going to do this."

Alice span around, ring binder in hand, and to my disbelief, saluted, while singing in her cheerful voice, "Alice Cullen-Whitlock's wedding countdown! It's July 8th and there are 35 days until the Cullen-Swan union of luurve!" I gawped, blushing a violent red, as she continued. "The to do list for today is as follows!" Rose snickered as Alice reeled off the list we'd be conquering for the day. My heart sank as I realized that I was going to be systematically demolished today.

It was in between "..debating bluebells or freesias..." and "..choosing between real or faux flowers...", that Jasper burst in, looking livid.

"ALICE! Calm down, for God's sake!" Alice was silent now, staring at Jasper, her face a calm mask. "Edward's reeling from the speed of your thoughts, and I'm alternating between sending out glee, mirth and horror!" Jasper looked at me, then. I knew he didn't mean to look at me – he never did anymore- but the instant he did, his gaze locked with mine, and I found I couldn't look away.

The spell was broken when Alice spoke. "Why were you sending out horror, Jazzy?"

"Stop it. You're upsetting Bella." He whispered, and then stormed out. I heard the front door slam downstairs as he ran out.

"That's the most I've heard from him in days." Alice whispered, her voice raw. She held her face in her hands, and Rose and I crawled to her side, wrapping our arms around her.

"It'll all be fine, Alice." Rosalie said, smoothing her hair.

"He doesn't trust me anymore," She dry sobbed, her voice hoarse. I felt terrible for inflicting this upon her.

"He does trust you, Al." I said soothingly, rubbing her back as she sobbed. Edward came up after a few minutes, wrapping his arms around me, and telling Alice that everything would be okay.

"You know what?" Rosalie started, and three pairs of eyes turned to her. "I think that when we go hunting before the wedding, we should leave Bella and Jasper alone for a night." I shot her a look, tensing immediately in Edward's arms. What was she doing? "You know, he'll be reassured that you trust him. It'll be nice for them to bond." She looked at me, looking for encouragement. I didn't know if I wanted to give it, but Alice was looking at me, pleading silently.

"Would you mind, Bella?" Edward asked for the first time, turning me around to face him.

"Of course not, anything to help Alice." I said, gulping. I was going to worry about this for the entire time that I had leading up to it. Edward pulled Alice out of the room, telling her to get cleaned up.

"What are you doing?!" I asked Rosalie, letting my disbelief color my tone.

"I'll explain tomorrow – we've got a dress fitting." I nodded as she walked out, leaving me to my thoughts. All I thought of for the rest of the night was the dress fitting. I'd finally find out why Rosalie wasn't livid that I was breaking up two relationships- her brother's and her sister's. I was glad that Edward couldn't read my mind. I didn't think I would ever understand her.


	23. One Stone

**Disclaimer – I don't own it, sheesh!**

**A.N. - Well, I guess I updated a little sooner than you guys expected, huh? It just so happens that my brain stopped working Sunday night, and I couldn't write, or read, or anything! Thanks for your never ending support guys. And, if you can read Chapter 22, then let me know so that I can delete the other story! **

"I'm surprised that you want to get to this dress fitting so much, Bella." Edward nuzzled my neck, and I giggled.

"Well, the sooner it's over, the better!" I laughed, and he wrapped his arms around me from behind. We were standing in the middle of the Cullen living room, and Rose was sitting with Emmett on the love seat.

"Where is Alice, anyway?" I asked. Emmett laughed, and Edward joined in. Rosalie and I stayed silent, although mine was because of lack of understanding. I later found out that hers was for an entirely different reason.

"When Jasper came home last night, he decided that he and Alice should..." Edward trailed off, unable to finish because Emmett was laughing so much. I stood still, the reaction to stress I'd picked up from Edward.

"They decided to re-cement their love!" Emmett roared, and hit the sofa with his fist while Edward snickered, my body shaking along with his, as he held me fast. Rosalie winked at me, but I couldn't move. The idea of Jasper...and Alice...together... It made me sick.

It was at this point that Alice appeared at the top of the stairs, with a towel wrapped around herself. She was dripping wet, and despite the scowl on her face, I could see the spark back in her eyes.

"Guys, do you mind? Jasper and I are a little busy..." She trailed off suggestively, and laughed. Rosalie walked over casually to stand by me and Edward.

"Al, come back in, you can't just leave me hanging..." Jasper laughed, and then popped his head around the corner of the stairs, wrapping his arms around Alice. He, too, was dripping wet. "Oh, hi everyone. Sorry about this, but I think I'll have to keep Allie from the wedding plans today." He laughed, and I was blisteringly aware that he was naked apart from the towel around his bottom half. My mouth hung open, and I rushed to close it, as Rosalie nudged me.

"It's fine, Jasper, Alice." Rosalie smiled, sounding ever so sincere. I didn't trust her whatsoever. "I can cover everything with Bella today. But we'll need her back by next week, that'll be the bridesmaids' dress fitting. And you're babysitting Bella while we go hunting before the wedding." Jasper's eyes widened a little, and then he smiled at me, dazzling me completely.

"I can't wait, Bella." I nodded, unable to speak. Jasper smiled cheekily at Alice and whispered something in her ear, before pulling her back to the bedroom. I was still frozen in place. Rosalie noticed, and pulled me out of Edward's grasp, and tugging me out of the door.

"We'll see you later, guys! We've got a fitting to go to!" She pushed me into her M3, and we were down the driveway before I'd even caught my breath.

"Breathe, Bella." Rosalie laughed, and I snapped my head around to look at her. "I don't think I'm going to get a proper answer out of you today, am I?" She laughed, and continued. "So, you're still wondering why I'm not mad, is that it?" I nodded, and it induced another round of laughter from her.

"Bella, so they were having shower sex, does that _actually_ matter?" I found my voice again, while shaking my head vigorously.

"I wasn't jealous!" She chuckled.

"I never said you were."

"I know...I was just...you were implying...I didn't mean..." Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Bella, stop acting all innocent. We'll talk about this on the way back, we've got to sort out your dress, now." I nodded, completely disorientated. All I could think about was the way that Jasper had wrapped his arms around Alice. And what they were doing now.

"Bella, lift your arms up dear." Elizabeth, the woman who was making mine and the girls' dresses, was lovely. She was a vampire as I'd suspected, though thankfully the vegetarian kind. I'd learnt from Rosalie that Alice was the one behind the green contacts, and mostly all of Elizabeth's appearance. "Rose, do you think that we should tuck it in here, or here?" Elizabeth was very thorough, and Rosalie seemed to have had strict instructions from Alice.

"Definitely at the back, the front has to be flat." Elizabeth nodded, and Rosalie continued to fuss around me as Elizabeth stuck pins into the dress at various locations. I had tried to keep up with what they were doing at first, but soon I'd gotten so tired that I didn't see the point in trying to keep up. I just concentrated on keeping still. It wasn't long before my thoughts drifted back to Jasper and Alice...

"Bella, for goodness' sake, stop it!" Rosalie screeched.

"What?!" I asked, bewildered.

"Your aura keeps on going from black to red and back to black...and I have no idea why!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

I turned to Rosalie, confused. "My what?"

"Elizabeth can see people's auras. Yours keeps on going black to red – black being anger, red being love." I nodded, and Elizabeth patted my hair.

"I won't question you further, I'm just worried about you." I nodded, and she declared that we were, in fact "All finished for the day!" Rosalie thanked her, and Elizabeth promised to bring the dress over the night before.

"So, you're probably hungry. And curious." I smiled up at her, as she ran her hands through her blond hair.

"Yeah, I'm more curious than hungry, though." I laughed, and swung the door shut behind me as I got into the M3. We went to the same place as before, and I only ordered a salad. Once again, the waiters fought over who would serve us – because of Rosalie, obviously. Not many women came close- a hit on their self esteem, I was sure.

"So, are you going to explain, then?" I pressed, hoping to shed some light on the situation. Rosalie shook her head.

"Eat first." I shot her an irritated look, and she countered. "Edward's rules."

I shoveled the salad into my mouth, barely stopping to swallow. But it was still ten minutes later by the time I'd finished._ Damn those big portions,_ I thought.

"Rosalie, can you tell me now, please?" She nodded, and waved her hand in the air. Three waiters shot over instantly, fighting over her, and I tried not to laugh.

"Can we have the bill please? Thank you." A gangly waiter was back with it before the others had even gone.

"There you go, Miss." He smiled, blushing. He looked very young. Rose nodded and placed a fifty on the plate.

"Keep the change." He nodded, eyes wide. "Come on, Bella." I nodded, scrambling up from my seat and after her as she glided gracefully through the room. Every one turned to look at her.

We sat in the M3 and I waited for her to turn the engine on. She didn't.

"What do you want to know?" She started, turning to me.

"I want to know why you're not mad. I want to know why you suggested for Jasper and I to spend another night together. I just want to understand."

She nodded. "Before I start, Bella, I need to explain something. I have grown closer to you, recently. I realize that you mean a lot to Edward, and it wouldn't be a bad thing. But I need to live in peace. The two main problems in my life are you and Jasper. Not in a malicious way, of course. You have everything I want, and Jasper is simply a liability. I've been thinking for a while," She understood my incredulous expression. "When Edward isn't around, of course. About how to get rid of Jasper. Because of course, you really have become a sister to me, and I'd love to have you in my family. Just not as a vampire. So, here's the perfect opportunity." Her kind expression twisted into a grimace, fueled by malice. "To kill two birds with one stone." My breath caught in my throat.

"W-w-w-what?"

"You and Jasper have cheated on Alice and Edward. It won't be long before they find out - of course I won't have anything to do with that, though. Jasper's poorly concealed emotions and thoughts, your pitiful reactions and sleep-talk. It won't take long. Then, Jasper will be out of my life forever, as will you. I will miss you, a little. As will Edward and Alice. But then they'll get over it, and find each other. We'll be a happy family. Controlled and beautiful. No dangers, no liabilities." I stared at her, mouth agape, eyes filled with tears. "No jealousy." She smiled.

I wanted to say something, to slap her, to scream, but I couldn't. My heart beat was uncontrollable, and I was frozen in place. She waited for me to say something, peering down at her manicured nails. She looked up at me again after a few minutes, and I was still in place. The only thing that had changed was the endless floods of tears cascading down my cheeks. She smiled again.

"Shall we get going then, Bella?"


	24. Losing Grip

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own it.**

**A.N.- I realize I haven't spoken about Charlie what so ever in this fic, so I decided that I'd him in a little. This chapter is just a filler by the way, so sorry that it's not up to scratch. I happened to be able to write this earlier than I usually would have, because I'm at home at the moment –I've broken my ankle, or something! Review, please.**

The next three weeks passed by in the blink of an eye. Before I even knew it, the week of my wedding was there, slapping me in the face. Everything was done – the dresses, the flowers, the cake...everything. Alice, elated by her renewed love with Jasper, had been in full working mode. Rosalie had been working hard, too. I was still completely mortified when in Rose's presence. _To kill two birds with one stone._ Her harsh words played constantly in my head, a vicious circle.

I hadn't been working very hard, all things considered. I didn't have the vampire style advantages that the rest of the Cullen women had. I'd be changed soon, two days after the wedding. August 15th. So I knew I wouldn't always be the liability. _No dangers, no liabilities. _

Rosalie's words had effected me drastically. She'd taken me home to Charlie's, and kept me there until I'd calmed down. She never really tried to comfort me, just kept on telling me that I would thank her in the long run. That I would be doing the right thing.

I had no intention of doing her version of the right thing. I was going to do mine and Edward's version of the right thing. We were getting married. I still couldn't believe that I was getting married, tying myself to another being for eternity. I was even more surprised that I had been able to untwist all of the years, the entire lifetime of the rule that had been drilled into me time and time again. It didn't really stop me, though. Edward had convinced me easily; and I liked the thrill I got when I knew I was doing something my family were dead against – even though they wouldn't actually tell me they disapproved.

I'd been completely numb since then. Everyone had noticed something was different, that I was in a shell, but it wasn't very bad. I could pretend, and that always mollified them. It wasn't the fact that Rosalie hurt me, or hated me. It was the fact that Edward would leave again, when he found out. It scared me.

I was completely lost in thought, lying on the couch in my living room. Charlie was out fishing, and Edward was hunting. Again. His constant hunting was really starting to annoy me. I knew he was doing it for me, and I was grateful that he was giving me what I wanted; but his incessant need to hunt when he wasn't hungry because he wanted to 'prepare' really was starting to make me worried. I tried to get to sleep, to make the time pass a little quicker, but it didn't really work. I missed Edward.

It was around 8 o' clock when Charlie came home, hauling his catch through the front door. I was lying on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. I'd discovered there were pictures in the patterns. Or maybe I had just been hallucinating.

"Bells, I got one heck of a haul today! We'll be having fish for the next few years!" He laughed, and I joined in, swinging my legs from the couch.

"Well, shall I start now?" I smiled as he nodded, and got to work. When we sat down to dinner, Charlie twiddled his thumbs for a while. I waited for him to start speaking.

"Bella," he started, and I put down my fork. He was ready to talk. "Look, you've not been your self, lately. It's like you're...scared. All the time." I looked at him blankly, a rabbit caught in headlights. "You're not scared of getting married, are you?" He swallowed, and I stayed motionless. "Or, are you scared of Edward?"

I shook my head, vigorously. "No, I'm not scared of Edward, I'm not scared of anything at all."

"It's okay to be scared, Bella. I just wish you'd tell me why you're scared. I'm your father." I nodded.

"I'm not scared, Dad. If I was, I would tell you." He shook his head.

"No, there's something wrong, Bella. I know you. Your's and Edward's relationship isn't healthy. Renee told me that she'd seen that; and now I've noticed. You feed off each other." I tried not to laugh. "When he's tense, you're tense. When you're upset, he's upset. When he's scared, you're scared." A look of realization dawned on his face. "Is Edward having second thoughts? Is that it?"

"Dad, Edward isn't having second thoughts, as far as I know." He nodded, but his face was still tense. "And I'm fine. I've just been thinking about a few things. I'm just preoccupied." I smiled. He seemed a little mollified.

"Are you sure, now, Bells?" I nodded. "You know, Jacob will always be there if you need him. He'd never have second thoughts." I laughed, and he threw me a disbelieving look. "I know there's some sort of secret, though." I tensed up immediately. "But I won't push you to tell me. You can tell me when you're ready." I nodded again, and smiled.

"You're almost as bad as Renee," I chuckled. "Did she send you any conspiracy books?" He chuckled, then.

"Okay, fair enough Bella. Maybe I _was_ overreacting a little. I'm gonna hit the sack. Thanks for dinner." I nodded, and by the time he'd left the room, I was cleaning the dishes. Charlie and Renee were somewhat alike – they were both pretty easily swayed. Once I was done, I went to bed, the sooner to see Edward. I didn't have to wait long.

"Hello, beautiful." He whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

"I missed you."

"I know, I missed you too." I buried my head in his shoulder. He sighed.

"Bella, I think we need to talk." I snapped my head up immediately, looking him in the eye. I knew what was coming. She had been right, all along.

"No, please, Edward! Please don't leave me again! You promised, you promised!" I was nearly hysterical, and the tears ran down my face relentlessly.

"Shh, shh, Bella. I'm not leaving, Bella. I love you. I'll never leave again, I promise." I nodded, and curled into a ball. I knew that Edward needed to talk, but I whimpered every time he began. Eventually, he gave up and just held me, as I descended into unconsciousness, exhaustion pulling me under.

Rosalie's words haunted me through the night as always, and she starred in my new nightmare. She starred in my nightmares every night, I had come to expect this; but the new dream was something I wasn't prepared for. My worst enemy was there, too.

_I was flying through a forest, a black expanse. __**The darkness.**__ Once I felt the steady beat of my wings, I realized I was a bird. I wasn't alone, Jasper flew next to me. _

"_Bella, we've got to get away, Bella, we've got to get away!" I tried to fly with him, but he flew off into the darkness. I turned around, and Rosalie sat there, glorious and untouchable. She held a large stone in her hands, and she was whispering quietly. I wanted to hear her, so I inched forward a little. My instincts screamed not to, but I didn't listen. I had to know what was coming. All of a sudden, cool arms were pulling at me. Jasper. "Bella, come on! We can't stay here, we've got to get away!" I stared at Jasper as he pleaded. "I can't, Jasper. I have to know, Jasper!" He continued pulling at me, as I neared to Rosalie. It was then that I heard what she was saying. "But I need to live in peace. The two main problems in my life are you and Jasper. Not in a malicious way, of course. You have everything I want, and Jasper is simply a liability. I've been thinking for a while about how to get rid of Jasper. Because of course, you really have become a sister to me, and I'd love to have you in my family. Just not as a vampire. So, here's the perfect opportunity." She smiled that peaceful smile, the one that made me sense danger, by now. "To kill two birds with one stone." She threw the rock that she had been cradling in her hands towards Jasper and I. It hit us both, and we collapsed to the floor. The blackness engulfed me._

I shot up in bed, shaking uncontrollably. Was it a dream? Was I dead? Where was Edward?

"I'm here, Bella, shh." I turned around and buried my head in his chest. "We can talk about this in the morning, okay?" I nodded, and fell asleep again. The dream was revisited countless times again in the night, and I wondered afterwards how much Edward had heard.

I waited for him to talk about it in the morning, but he didn't. I felt like I was in a downward spiral, losing grip. Edward and I said nothing as he drove me to his house, holding my hand all the while. Jasper and Alice were sitting on the sofa, hands entwined. I would have been jealous, but I was effectively numb. Edward and Jasper made small talk while I rested my head on Edward's shoulder, exhaustion getting the better of me.

It was then that Rosalie walked into the room. I shot up immediately, tightening my grip on Edward's hand. Jasper looked up at me, alarmed.

"Bella, we need to talk, now." I stared at him, looking for some kind of an explanation. Rosalie stood in the corner, looking smug. I realized that I couldn't talk to Jasper, because it would ruin everything.

"I can't talk to you now, Jasper." I whispered, shrinking to Edward's side. Jasper looked pointedly at Edward, and Edward pulled me up.

"Go talk with Jasper, we won't listen." I shot him a pleading look, but he pushed me away gently, and Jasper placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me away. The further I got from Edward, the more anxious I became. _To kill two birds with one stone._ My panic levels rose quickly, and I had to struggle not to hyperventilate as my heart beat grew louder and faster by the millisecond.

"Now," Jasper said. "Are you going to tell me what all that was about?"


	25. Ultimatum

**Disclaimer- No, I don't own it!**

**A.N. - I had another day off today :) But, stupidly, didn't bother sitting down and getting ahead with my chapters, I sat down and read other fan fics! Gah, I've got serious problems. So it took a little longer than usual. Well, anyway, here's chapter 25. And if you're wondering, Jasper and Bella are alone again in the next chapter. :) Review please guys!**

"I'm serious, Bella. The second Rose walked in the room, you tense up and you've got countless emotions running from you. It took all I had not to be overpowered by them." I stayed silent, and Jasper shook his head. "I can see we're not going to get anywhere while we're still here, are we Bella?" He said, his voice a little patronizing as he opened the car door.

"What are you doing?!" I asked, my voice a little hoarse.

"Taking you away from here. They won't be able to hear us what so ever. And you can tell me the _truth_." I nodded silently, and sat down in the car. By the time I'd buckled up, he'd already shut my door and gotten into his side, turning the key in the ignition.

"Are you going to drive fast?" I whispered. He turned to look at me, one eyebrow raised.

"Please, Bella." He laughed, and screeched down the driveway. Did they all have a complex or something?! Could they not understand how terrified I was of speed? When I finally became one, I'd be a pretty screwed up vampire.

The car jerked to a stop just as we swerved down from the driveway, and had I not been wearing my seatbelt, I would have smashed through the window.

"What the hell Jasper?!" He hadn't even moved an inch, and his head was facing his feet. He slowly raised his head, not looking at me. He was breathing heavily and the set of his jaw let me know that something wasn't right.

"Bella," he started, his voice a menacing growl."That could have _killed_ you." He opened his eyes, a dark black. "What did you think you were doing, hitting me with those emotions?!" I stared at him in shock. He was blaming _me_?

"Oh sorry," I started sarcastically, "I was thinking of myself too much, wasn't I? Maybe next time when you're driving fast enough to kill me, I'll think about keeping my emotions under control so as not to scare the itty bitty vampire." My voice cracked a little at the end, and I unbuckled my seat belt, kicking the car door open. Jasper sat there momentarily, his eyes wide as they lightened.

"What are you doing?" He asked, jumping out of the car as I turned this way and that, not sure where to go.

"I'm going _home_." My voice cracked on the last word, as I began walking the way that the car had been headed. I couldn't see Edward like this.

"Bella, please!" I started walking, stumbling over the uneven road. I fell over as usual, and collapsed in a heap on the floor. Jasper was by my side before I could blink.

"Bella, please, come on. I'll take you somewhere and we can talk. I hate seeing you like this." Tears rolled down my cheeks and glanced off my chin, into darkened spots on my jeans.

"Why don't you just leave me alone Jasper, it's not like you want anything to do with me!" I shrieked as he pulled me up, and I began tripping down the road again, knowing that I wouldn't get far.

"Bella, please. What are you talking about?" Jasper wrapped his arms around my waist from behind, and I shuddered at the bolts of electricity from his touch. He spun me round and I collapsed against his chest in hopeless tears.

"You told me you loved me and then next minute you just spontaneously get over me and go back to having sex with your wife." I sobbed harder, realizing how stupid it sounded. "And now you're patronizing me and treating me like a child and you _lied_ to me about being in love with me, and then you wer-" He cut me off with his lips, and I lost every train of thought that had ever been through my mind. It was just him and me. The tears dried quickly, as he pressed my body tighter against his, his hands winding through my hair as I clung to him.

"I never _spontaneously_ got over you, Bella. I _love _you. Come on, let's get out of here." He swung me up into his arms, and placed me gently in the car. He jumped in and caught hold of my hand, smiling at me. He drove slowly for him, but still a little too fast for my liking. I didn't get overwhelmed this time as he drove, because I was deeply lost in thought, staring at our clasped hands on the seat. When I saw the edges of the highway appear, I jumped up.

"Where are we going, Jasper?" He laughed.

"I'm taking you to Port Angeles." My eyebrows rose.

"Why to Port Angeles?"

He laughed, and let go of my hand to caress my cheek. I shuddered at his touch, sending all kinds of signals through me. "I didn't think you'd want me to take you anywhere further." I nodded, completely mesmerized. We ended up going to Bella Italia. It was only after I recognized the waitress that I realized I'd been here before.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jasper asked, winding his arm around my waist.

I nodded, trying not to get overly worked up. It didn't matter. The waitress wouldn't recognize me. She hadn't even been looking at me.

We sat down in the booth and ordered. It surprised me greatly when Jasper ordered, but when I questioned him later, he said that I would eat it. I was sure that if I continued to eat when all these vampires kept on trying to 'feed me', then I would be as big as their house! I ordered the mushroom ravioli, out of habit. I seemed to order it frequently these days. Once the waitress had brought our food, Jasper launched his attack.

"Right. Now you are going to tell me what was wrong." I stared at him blankly, a rabbit caught in headlights. I shoveled ravioli in my mouth, making sure I couldn't answer him. It was a childish tactic, but it worked. But I couldn't hold back for long, because in my haste, I'd finished my plate.

"Bella, please tell me. I want to help you." Jasper's eyes smoldered into mine, and I melted momentarily.

"I can't tell you Jasper."

"Please Bella, I just want to help!"

"I know," I muttered, "you've already said that half a million times." Jasper raised his eyebrows.

"I heard that, you know." I blushed a violent red and hid my face. I didn't know what was wrong with me – I'd been a bit accusing and overly emotional all day.

"Sorry." I said, still hiding my face. Jasper's cool hand reached out to me and tilted my face back up.

"It's okay. I just wish you'd explain." I shook my head, and his hand followed. "What if I guess? Who's it about...You?" I nodded. "Edward?" I twisted my expression.

"A little." He nodded. "Rosalie?"

"Yes." I whispered, lolling my head back down as I tried to push back the tears that were threatening to go over the border.

"I thought so. Is it about me?" I drew in a sharp breath, and he was silent.

"Bella, please tell me. I won't do anything, I promise. It'll help to get it off your chest, I promise."

"Well," I started, and I could see him visibly relax. "Well, it was at the dress fitting. She'd told me before that she'd found out about...us, and that she wasn't mad. She'd promised to tell me why she didn't mind at the dress fitting...so it was even better for us when you and Alice were off having _sex." _I said the last word bitterly, and Jasper reached down to hold my hand, that was clenching the white cloth covering the table. "So I had the dress fitting and then we went for food...and then I asked her again and then she told me." I thought of her words again, and my breathing began escalating along with my heartbeat. I was nearing hyperventilation even before Jasper tried to calm me. It didn't work very well, but I managed to plod on. "She told me that, she had grown closer to me, but she needed me out of her life. And you. We are her number one problems," I sniffled, the tears beginning to fall. "I've got everything she wants, and you're... a liability." I caught Jasper's pained expression as he covered it, nodding for me to continue. "She said that she'd been thinking for a while about how to get rid of you and I," I paused, wiping my eyes. I wasn't sure if I could say this, the words that had been haunting me night and day. "And then she said it was the perfect chance to kill two birds with one stone." I whispered the last sentence, and the next thing I knew, the money was on the table and Jasper and I were outside.

"What is she going to do, Bella? Did she tell you?" Jasper's voice was frantic as he swung me into the car, getting round to the other side before I'd even had a chance to answer.

"No. She said that you and I would manage that by ourselves, that we couldn't hide it well enough." Jasper visibly calmed down. "I agree with her." I whispered, my voice shaking ever so slightly at its low level.

"What happened then?" He asked, the car accelerating as we swerved through the back streets, trying to avoid unwanted hold ups.

"Then I cried and she took me home until I'd calmed down so that she wouldn't alert Edward. And now I'm scared that Edward will leave again." Tears trickled down my face as Jasper draped his right arm around my shoulder. I thought about telling him to keep his eyes on the road, we were on the highway and he was going at least 3 times the set speed limit, but I didn't bother.

"He won't leave, Bella. They won't find out." I sniffled.

"But what if they do?" His entire body tensed, his arm tightening around me.

"Then there's only one thing to do. I've got a compromise, Bella." I nodded, eager to hear what could get us out of this, urging him on.

"One night. I want you for one night, and then we forget about this. We move on with our lives with the people we love, and no one will ever have to know." I stared at him, my breath catching in my throat.

"Or?" I whispered, already knowing the answer.

"Or, we continue like this and eventually, Rose will have her way and we'll accidentally let it slip." I nodded. It didn't sound like a compromise to me.

"So what you're saying is, it's one night together or lose Edward forever? It sounds more like an ultimatum to me." But I knew what I would choose, despite all this.

"Maybe so. But you know as well as I do, that it's the only way." I nodded, and as we swerved to the opening of the Cullens' driveway, I wiped away my tears and answered him.

"One night together."


	26. Alone Again

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**Disclaimer – I DON'T OWN IT. I know, do you have to keep reminding me?**

**A.N.- So this is the longest chapter I've ever written – which is why it took longer. And that's why the AN is larger than like, every other one. I know the first part of the chapter is a little sarcastic but I couldn't help it – I was all riled up after reading Chapter 22 of halojones' fic -4112891 - 10 steps to seducing your hot virgin vampire boyfriend. If you haven't read it already, then you really should. I cried with laughter at Chapter 22. **

**So, back to Luxuria. Warning, the lemon-ish stuff starts once you get to the huge amount of breaks in the chapter. I'll give you a bit of warning. Bearing in mind that it's my first lemon (despite the fact I wrote..er..not very much, I got help) go easy on me. The random trivia game is a game I made up while getting to know an old friend. It really did teach me loads about him. Oh, and trust me if you haven't tried it yet, the first time you try it, wax really does hurt like hell. Review please!**

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"Bella," Edward wrapped his arms around me and cradled me to his chest. "Is everything okay, now?" I nodded into his chest resting my forehead against his muscles.

"I was just a little overwhelmed. It's all okay now." My voice was a little muffled, but coherent. Of course, Alice being Alice, she decided that since I was okay, I'd have to start getting ready for the wedding.

"I need to manicure _and_ pedicure you Bella, we're not here tomorrow and then the day after, we've got the hen night, an-"

"The what?!" I shrieked. "A hen night? Are you serious?"

Edward raised his head. "Alice, I thought you said that she'd take it well."

"She is taking it well!" Edward raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, better than she would have taken it if we'd surprised her."

"You were, you were-!" I spluttered, unable to contain myself. "A HEN NIGHT?!" I buried my head in Edward's chest as I heard laughing coming from every corner of the house.

"Don't worry, love. I'm having a stag party." He sounded so bitter I couldn't help but laugh.

"You? On a stag night?" I looked up at him and he was frowning down at me, but there was a little humor still in his eyes. I turned around. "Jasper, make sure you take pictures!"

Jasper laughed, and said "I'll make sure we do. Hadn't you better go and get your manicure done now? I think Alice is about to explode." I laughed and next thing I knew, I was in Alice and Jasper's room with my nails in separators.

"You're going to have a proper pampering day today Bella."

"But Alice, it's a_ Sunday._" Alice gave me a quizzical look. "It's a day of relaxation. I shouldn't be preparing for the wedding today!"

"Exactly, a pampering day. The world doesn't stop because you're not meant to be working, Bella. You're getting married _Wednesday._ Anyway, you're having a day off tomorrow. We'll be back at 12 on Tuesday, by the way." I nodded, and let her continue.

She painted my nails in a french manicure style, and did the same for my toenails. Rosalie dried my nails with a hairdryer – I was mortified. I was nearly one hundred percent sure that it would set my nails on fire! But it didn't. All of this was done with vampire speed, so my nails were all done within ten minutes, and then I had to spend an hour in the bath before they decided I had to be waxed.

I nearly fainted when they ripped the wax off. I hadn't felt anything that painful in years! "Alice, please, please stop! It hurts too much!"

"Maybe it's because I'm pulling it off slowly." She turned to Rose, and understanding what I did not, she nodded. Then, Rosalie got to work pulling it off at vampire speed. It wasn't as bad as the singular slow ones, but the after effect was very painful.

"Oh my god, oh my GOD I'M ON FIRE!" I screeched, waving my hands over my poor legs as they burnt. Alice abruptly broke down in laughter. I stopped my hand waving and screeching as Rose and I turned to see why she was laughing. We didn't have to wait long.

A second later, Edward burst through the door. "You haven't bitten her, have you!?" He roared, as Rosalie doubled up laughing. Bored, I continued waving my hands to create some air over my burning legs.

"Someone tell me what's going on?" Edward sounded so helpless, that I laughed, then.

"Edward, I'm being waxed. It hurts. I'm not being turned into a vampire." That set Emmett off, and he began roaring as he reached the doorway.

"Well, I'm sorry for being worried about you!" Edward huffed, and I tried to get up to hug him.

"Oh, Edward I know, I didn't mean it like- Ouch! Okay, _not_ ready to stand yet!" I squealed as I collapsed back down onto the floor, the carpet scratching at my heated legs.

"Don't be such a wimp, Bella!" Alice said, finally recovered from her laughing fit. "You can't even feel it!" I gave her a disparaging look.

"Alice, you don't even _have_ to wax! Your hair doesn't grow!" She nodded, and lowered her head.

"I'm sorry Bella. But on the adverts, they say that it doesn't hurt! You must have seen it?"

I raised an eyebrow, and sensing a TV talk, Edward and Emmett closed the door and walked away.

"No, Alice, I haven't seen it." Rose and Alice looked at each other incredulously.

"You must have seen it! 'Are you a wax virgin?'"

"Not anymore!" I huffed, rubbing my legs. They were very smooth, I had to admit.

"No, Bella. We're talking about the advert." Then, Rose and Alice launched into a two-woman demonstration of the _Veet _advert. Jasper snuck in half way through to take pictures, and I didn't object. We rarely got to surprise Alice. It was half way through Rosalie marveling at Alice's 'silky smooth legs' that they realized Jasper was sitting next to me snapping pictures.

"Jazzy! What are you doing?!" Alice screeched, and I turned to Jasper as the girls were frozen in place.

"You better run." He laughed and was gone in milliseconds.

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The rest of the day ensued of the entire Cullen household running around the house with a candid camera in their hands, and Esme and I talking about them all on the sofa.

"Do they do this often?" I asked, intrigued

"Now and again," she laughed, looking more like a mother than I'd ever seen her, "there was a really bad incident once." She laughed, but covered her mouth with her pale hand, hiding her mirth. "Well, Emmett lost a bet to Alice, so Alice sent everyone out of the house so he could fulfill his side of the bet. But Alice made sure to take a little longer than she'd told us she'd be, so when we came back, Emmett was dressed up in one of Rosalie's best dresses, covered in her make-up, and posing for a photographer. Alice managed to get it on the front of some German magazine, _Cross Dressers Weekly_!" I burst out laughing and she shushed me, trying to hide her own laughter. "We've been forbidden to talk about it by Emmett, but I think Alice has got the magazine cover framed in one of her cupboards!" I giggled and then Esme began talking about cooking as Emmett came roaring down the stairs, followed by Rosalie.

"LET'S TAKE THIS OUTSIDE LADIES!"

"Emmett, you're not going outside, not after last time!" Esme shouted. Emmett and Rose had circled the living room and were back up the stairs in a flash.

"What happened last time?" I asked tentatively.

"Oh, that was horrendous. Emmett was fighting with Edward, as per usual," I laughed with Esme as she remembered. "And for some reason, Emmett picked up Edward's couch, and ran with it outside. While he was yelling profanities, he turned around, and smashed straight into Rosalie's specially made blue Mercedes."

"Rosalie had a blue Mercedes?"

"Exactly. _Had._" I laughed for a while with her, and we talked about the family, things they'd done, things they weren't allowed to talk about (yet, she still told me), the different places they'd lived, the different places they'd been.

"Not that I don't love to hear about all of this stuff, because I really do," I started once we'd lapsed into a comfortable silence, "but why are you telling me all of these things, especially if you're not allowed to talk about them?" Esme smiled at me and grasped my hand in her cold ones.

"Because you're part of the family now Bella, you deserve to know everything. And I love spending time with you and telling you things, you're my daughter." By the time she'd finished speaking, my eyes were filling with tears. I wrapped my arms around her instantly, burying my head in her shoulder.

"Thank you so much Esme. I love you so much, I think of you as a mother, and you're the best one ever."

"I love you, Bella." I could tell that if she'd been able to, she would have been crying. "I can't explain to you how much it means that you're joining this family, and that you've stayed by our Edward through everything. Even when you had a less life changing offer. I can't imagine you not being in our lives, Bella. I love you so much, my darling daughter." I burst out crying in her embrace, but it was for two reasons.

First, because she loved me so much, and I loved her too. It was amazing to be able to have a mother who really acted like it. She was always there for me, caring and understanding.

Second, because I _wasn't_ staying by Edward through everything. I'd be having a night with her other son, my fiance's brother, just tomorrow. I was betraying her, betraying the entire family. I was a monster.

"Everything okay, Bella?" Rosalie hopped down the stairs, followed by the rest of the family. I pulled out of Esme's hug, and smiled at them, wiping away my tears.

"Yeah, everything is fine. Esme and I were just having a heart to heart, that's all."

"Okay, then. Time to get you to bed, you've got a long day ahead tomorrow. Did Alice tell you what time we'd be back?" Edward asked, pulling me up from the couch.

"Yep, 12. Night guys." Everyone chorused their answering good nights, and then Edward slung me over his back and carried me upstairs.

"Goodnight, my everything. I'll see you in the morning."

"Will you stay?" I asked, burying my head in his chest.

"Of course I will, love." He answered, wrapping his freezing arms around me.

"Good." I said, drifting off to sleep in the glacier.

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"Bella?" An angel's voice woke me up from my dreamless sleep.

"Mmm?"

"It's time to get up."

"Nuh-uh" I said, rolling over. Cold arms wound around my waist.

"Bella, you've got to get up."

"Why?" I groaned, shielding my eyes. I wasn't fully awake yet as the arms lifted me up, cradling me.

"I thought I could let you sleep longer, but they've already gone." That woke me up.

My eyes flickered open, and I realized that I wasn't in Edward's arms. I was in Jasper's.

"Where are they?! Where have they gone? Where am I?!" I squeaked, turning around in Jasper's arms.

"Bella, it's 1 o clock. Edward waited for you to wake up, but you were out like a light. Eventually, they had to leave. Edward said to tell you he was sorry." I nodded.

"It's okay. I did sleep like a log. Where am I?" I asked, unaware of my surroundings.

"Oh," Jasper started, looking a little embarrassed. "I wanted to watch you sleep so I brought you with me."

"To where?" I asked, as I began to regain consciousness. I was faintly aware of the sound of wind and a river, and the fact that the ceiling was blue.

"To my meadow." I opened my eyes while sitting up, and sure enough, we were in a meadow. It wasn't anywhere near the size of mine and Edward's, but what it lacked in size, it made up for in beauty.

I ran my hands through the soft grass, marvelling at it's warmth. The sky was a clear cloudless blue, and the sun was beating down. I looked down at Jasper's arms, and realized that he was sparkling.

"I didn't know you had a meadow." I said, turning to look at him as I put my arms on top of his.

"Yes. It's not far from the house though, it's practically our garden." I nodded, resting my head against his chest.

"Can I have a human minute, please?" I asked, realizing I was still in my pajamas. "I need to change." I laughed, and he pulled me up.

"Come on," he smiled, and slung me over his back. We were back to the house in seconds, so it was obvious that we weren't that far away.

"You go get ready, take your time." Jasper smiled and I turned around.

"What's the time?"

"Three o' clock." He smirked, anticipating my reaction.

"Really?!" Had I slept that long?

"Yes, love. Now go and get ready." He pressed his lips to mine for the briefest second, and the entire solar system exploded. When he broke the kiss, it was way too soon for my liking. "Go on." He smiled, and pushed me up to the first step.

I ran up, trying not to trip, and got up to mine and Edward's room, to see an outfit that Alice had already put out for me. Shorts were part of the ensemble, so Alice must have checked ahead to see the weather. I ran into the bathroom, hoping not to trip in my haste. I brushed my teeth vigorously, before jumping into the shower, and turning the water on. I ran my hands through my hair. One night together. I couldn't help thinking what that might lead to. I knew I had no choice, though. It wasn't that I didn't want to do it, though. I'd gotten myself into it, and it was time to turn it back out. I would have to hope that tonight would fix everything. That Jasper and I could go back to being brother and sister.

I couldn't help myself. I kept on thinking of Jasper downstairs, waiting for me. Waiting to kiss me again, to touch me...And then I'd have to start the calming process all over again.

A knock came at the door. "Bella?" Jasper's soft voice came through.

"Yeah?" I called over the rush of the water.

"Can I come in?"

"I'm in the shower?"

_"I know."_

"Oh." I thought about this. "Yeah, come in." I heard the door opening, though I couldn't see Jasper through the steamy glass. The door opened, and there stood Jasper.

"Oh." was all I said, before he stepped in, and pushed me into the cold tile as his lips collided with mine. His arms wrapped around my wet body as his freezing lips touched my neck. I moaned and he brought his lips back up to mine while I tangled my hands through his hair. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him, feeling every dent in his body.

"Jasper..." Were we doing this now?

He kissed me hard on the lips again.

We were doing this now, obviously.

"We can do this later, Bella." He said, his breathing heavy. I gasped against his chest.

"What?" He was stopping this _now_?

"I want to spend the day with you first. I don't want to have casual sex with you all afternoon; I said one _night_." I nodded against his chest, my breathing still hitched. I raked my nails down his chest, feeling the muscles under my fingers. "I'm sorry Bella, but I really have to do this."

"Do what?" I began to ask, but my question was answered. At vampire speed, Jasper turned the heat dial on the shower all the way to cold. I shrieked as the cold water hit me, shuddering from the temperature. Jasper found it funny, because he couldn't really feel much of the cold.

"Jasper! It's cold, it's cold, I'm getting out!" I shrieked, trying to get past him as he held me tight to his body, waiting for us both to calm down. Eventually I got used to the icy flow, and Jasper picked me up and stepped out of the shower.

"That was fun." He laughed, wrapping a towel around me.

"It w-w-w-wasn't fun! I c-c-c-could get pneu-m-m-monia!" I fussed, rubbing the the fluffy towel over my body.

"Go and get dressed, you'll soon warm up." He smirked and the next thing I knew, he was dressed with my clothes in hand. I slipped my clothes on as he watched, his eyes raking over my body.

"Pervert." I joked, smiling at him. He grinned briefly, before launching himself at me, tangling his hands in my hair as I wrapped mine around his neck. His lips found mine in seconds, his tongue probing my lip. Our tongues danced for a while, before we broke apart.

"You need to eat something, Bella. I don't want you to pass out." I nodded, licking my tongue across my swollen lips. "Please, Bella, don't tempt me." I realized that I had an immense amount of power over him, so I winked and grabbed his hand, leading him back downstairs.

I ate my food in silence for a while, until I looked up at his eyes. They were black.

"Do you need to go and hunt?" I asked. I wasn't concerned, I knew he would be able to manage, but in order to make things easier, it would be better for him to feed.

"Not really." He shrugged, playing with my fingers.

"I know you'll be able to manage, but just to make things easier?" He sighed and nodded, planting a chaste kiss on my lips before racing out of the door. I finished my sandwich minutes later, and went back upstairs to check my appearance. I brushed my teeth again, and brushed through my hair. There wasn't much I could do about my lips; I was sure they would stay this swollen for days at this rate.

I reached the last step on the stairs just as Jasper came shooting through the door. I walked up to him slowly, watching his light eyes.

"Hi." I laughed.

"Hi," he bent down to kiss my lips and my heart beat thumped erratically. "Do you want to go somewhere?" He smiled down at me as I shuddered, breathing in his scent.

"Mmhmm." He laughed before I attacked his lips again, with a passion not far from violence. I loved touching him.

"Come on then, before we get carried away." He winked at me, and picked me up bridal style, running with me to his meadow - not as symmetrical, but wavy around the edges- like our relationship.

He laid me down on the cool grass, and I looked up at the cloudless sky.

"Talk to me." He said. I laughed.

"That was very specific Jazz. What d'you want to talk about?" I smiled at him.

"I don't know. I want to know everything about you."

"Um...we could play the random trivia game?"

He laughed. "What's that?"

"Well, you ask me questions, or I ask you questions, and we have to answer them. A bit like truth or dare but without the dare, I guess." I laughed, and he nodded.

"Sure, let's play that."

We talked all through the day, and watched the sky get darker above our heads. It was around 9 o clock when Jasper finally broke our comfortable silence.

"Do you want to go home now?" I smiled.

"Yeah, I want to go back now." I expected him to sling me over his back, but he didn't. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist so that our lips were inches apart.

"I think I like it better this way." I laughed, and rested my head on his shoulder as he began running. The concentration in his eyes was immense as we sped through the trees.

As he carried me over the threshold, I laughed.

"You were eager to get back, weren't you?"

"Oh, yes." He smiled, and then pulled me upstairs, turning onto another door in the corridor of the third floor. He kicked open the door, and I gasped.

The entire room was red, with a four poster bed. There was red carpet on the floor, and there were luscious heavy red curtains covering the small window. I'd never been in the room before, and I realized this must be the guest room.

* * *

* * *

**_This is a lemon. IE, sex scene. Don't read if you'd rather not- just scroll to the review button! Thanks to Sarah for helping = basically, writing most of this. I think pretty much all I did was a bit of the dialogue. And the cute fluffy bits. _**

* * *

Jasper laid me down on the bed and put his arms and legs either side of me.

"One night, then we let go, okay?" I nodded, and began tracing his chest muscles as I saw them through his shirt. His chest started rising and falling rapidly, and his shirt was off in seconds. I kept my shirt on, but undid my bra quickly, slipping it down my arm and flinging it away as he smirked as I struggled. I laughed back at him and pushed my body up so that I could reach his lips. It was so easy being with Jasper. I wasn't nervous, my thoughts weren't running away from me. Everything fit with him. It was like breathing.

His skin was so cold, I couldn't get enough of him. I slid my lips along his chin and licked my way down his neck; as his hands trailed up my top, his thumbs rubbing up my skin until they reached my breasts. He pulled my top off, then cupped my breasts in his hands, and my head whirled at the sensation.

He lowered his head down again until my chest was facing his mouth, then he pulled me up towards him so that he could capture a waiting nipple in his mouth. I moaned as he gently sucked and moved his tongue over the aroused peak, then giving the same attention to the other. My arms gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his skin.

He lowered me back down again, holding his weight just enough so that I could feel his entire body. I felt the hard length of him pressed against me, and I tangled my legs with his. He caressed my cheek, then ran his cool hand down the length of my burning body, stopping at my shorts.

"Can I?" I nodded, unable to find my voice. My throat was dry and my heartbeat erratic as he slid my shorts down my legs. He was breathing heavily, too. And I could see his eyes visibly darken. I knew that it wasn't from blood lust, though. It was from desire.

He brought his lips back to mine, the urgency blatant in the kiss. Everywhere he touched me, I groaned with pleasure. It was like he was purposely teasing me.

"Jasper, please!" He laughed, his lips vibrating against my thigh.

"What, Bella?"

"I need you, _now_." He kissed my lips again, then licked back down my body until he reached my pants. He ripped them off, throwing them over into a corner. It was a good thing I had more than one pair of those.

He took me suddenly in a burst of lust. I felt nothing but pleasure, as we both groaned on contact. I was secured as his, forever.

"Jasper!" I screamed until I felt his speed start to increase. I dug my nails into his back, clinging to him as I heard a moan escape from his throat. His thrusts became harder and harder and then his body tensed as my body clenched tightly around him. The waves of pleasure rolled over me and I screamed until my throat was raw as we came together, collapsing in a heap.

"I love you, Bella." Jasper whispered into my sweaty hair.

"I love you, Jasper." I whispered, resting my head against his chest as I fell into a content sleep.

* * *

**Oh, and a HUGE thanks to _thefiretree_ for sending me Alice Practice. It really fended off the writer's block, and without it, you wouldn't have gotten such a long chapter. So send her some love!**


	27. Returning

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

**A.N. - If you have deviantART, then you may wanna take a look at this: redlotusflower./art/Twilight-Hand-Campaign-83211107**

**It explains it all there. I'm doing it though I haven't let 'redlotusflower' know because I don't have a deviantART nor can I get one because my email address is linked to the UK. Greeeat.**

I woke up naked in the guest room, with Jasper singing softly next to me. I wasn't sure if he knew that I was awake, so I lay there for a while while he sang quietly.

"In the name of love, one night in the name of love." I remembered us singing the song last month. Everything had seemed so innocent then. He hummed where my line would have come up and then continued.

"Don't, leave me this way, I can't survive, without your sweet love, oh baby, don't leave me this way!" He hummed for a while, then I decided to cut in.

"Love makes us act like we are foots. Throw our lives away for one happy day!" Jasper smiled and kissed my forehead.

"We could be heroes just for one day." I smiled up at him, resting my head on his chest.

"How are you this morning?"

"I'm good. Actually, I'm amazing." I smiled up to him and he kissed my lips. "How are you?" His expression became a little guarded.

"Well, I do need to hunt...but other than that, I'm fine." I nodded.

"I told you that you had more control than you thought!" He laughed and kissed my hair.

"It's 9 o clock. They'll be back at twelve. Maybe it's best if we both go and get ready." I nodded and was about to jump out of bed when I realized that I was still naked. A hot blush crept up my cheeks.

Jasper laughed. "Do you think it really matters if I see you naked Bella?" I laughed with him at my stupidity, and got out of bed, walking to the door. Jasper let out a low whistle. I turned around, cheeks burning. "Sorry, couldn't help myself." He chuckled, and I stalked out of the room, walking up to Edward's. I washed and dressed quickly, bounding downstairs to have breakfast. Jasper was standing in the kitchen talking in hushed tones into his cell phone.

"Well, it wasn't fresh, but it wasn't old either...Yes, I think it was him...Well it was definitely one of them, I'm sure of that...When I went to hunt...I thought so too, it would make sense..." I stared at Jasper confusedly. It was then that he seemed to notice my presence. He spun around. "I'll talk to you later, she's down now...I don't think that would be wise...You can do it when you get home." I raised my eyebrows at him. "Okay, bye."

"Who was that?" I asked conversationally, going to the cupboard to get my cereal.

"How much did you hear?" He asked, frowning.

"Not a lot. Just something about fresh but not old?" I stared at him, puzzled. He visibly relaxed.

"Oh, it was Edward. Don't worry, they'll be back soon." I nodded. "I better go hunting, now."

"Okay, I'll see you later." He reached forward and gave me a brief kiss on the lips, while I pondered what the conversation could have been about.

'Wasn't fresh but wasn't old either' – what could that mean? I suppose he could mean a trail or scent of some kind, but when would he have had a chance to go out? Unless it had been in the house? And he'd said he'd been hunting. But he'd said that he was going to hunt now. My head hurt, nothing made sense. Could it have been the Volturi? Or something worse?

I tried keeping my breathing at an even pace, so that I wouldn't be hyperventilating by the time Jasper came back. When he did come back though, I was nervous.

"Hi Bella." Jasper walked in, frowning with his nose scrunched up. He breathed in, and then he seemed to calm down. I assumed this was because of my scent, but I had more pressing matters to attend to.

"Jasper, what were you talking to Edward about?"

"Bella," Jasper started, pain evident on his face, "Edward told me to wait, we didn't want to scare you."

"Well you have." I whispered, my voice shaking.

Jasper sighed and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Bella. But I really think it would be best if Edward told you."

"Why?!" I cried, pulling myself out of his arms. "Is it the Volturi? Are they coming for me?" To my immense surprise, Jasper laughed. I frowned and sent him the angriest emotions I could muster.

"Sorry, Bella. No, it's not the Volturi. I think you'll actually be really happy about it, but Edward should tell you. Don't worry." I nodded. "And there's a plus side."

"Oh?" I raised my eyebrows, hoping for some more clues.

"Alice didn't see anything last night." I smiled. Somewhere, deep down, recognition flared. But I was too busy being happy.

"So she can't see us right now?" I asked, smiling mischievously.

"Nope." Jasper said, shaking his head.

I got up from the chair and pressed myself against him. "Good." I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. We stayed like that until I had to break away to breathe.

"They'll be back soon." I nodded, looking down. I didn't want this to end. Did that mean something, I didn't know. But I did know that it could never happen again. "Do you want to tie this up, Bella?" I frowned.

"Tie what up?" I asked, confused.

"This. You and me." I could hear a tinge of regret in his voice, but he had a very good poker face.

"Oh." I whispered. "We better had." I paused. "How?"

"Well, I thought..." Jasper started. "Well, how did this start?"

I thought back. "When we were watching movies." He nodded, and then a dazzling smile appeared on his face.

"Care for some Moulin Rouge?" He grabbed my hand and led me through to the living room. We watched and sang in the right places, laughing and holding hands. The movie ended and the credits rolled. I turned to Jasper.

"Our last stand."

He laughed. "Yeah." I pressed my lips together in a tight line, and stared at him. My heartbeat accelerated and I knew this was goodbye, to anything we could ever have had.

I pressed my lips to his wildly, and he responded with the same fervor. We didn't have to be careful, anymore. We knew that he could do so much more than just that with me without losing control. His arms wound around my waist, pulling me tighter into his rock like body.

When we pulled away, I sat back on the sofa, my legs folded underneath me. He reached out and held my hand, smiling at me. "You're getting married tomorrow. I can't believe you're going to be my little sister." I laughed, and hugged him.

"You're the best big brother anyone could ask for." I hoped I wouldn't cry, now. He held me a little tighter. I could hear him inhaling my scent through my hair and smiled. "When are they coming back?" I asked, making conversation now that we were nothing more than siblings.

"They should be here any minute." I smiled and rubbed my arm, comforting myself. We made casual conversation for around 10 minutes until we heard the cars squealing down the driveway. I stood up and smiled at Jasper.

"They're home!" I ran to the door and watched them getting out of the car. Edward had a look of severe concentration on his face. I smiled at him and he smiled back briefly. I realized that the entire family were standing out by the cars, still and silent, the same look of concentration on their faces.

"Get out here, Jasper." Emmett called, and Jasper was through the door in a flash. I walked out slowly.

"What is it?" Alice looked at Jasper.

"Did you tell her?" Jasper shook his head. Shivers coursed through my body. What did everyone know that I didn't?

"Can you tell me, then? Edward?" Edward finally looked up and put his arms around me, and I buried my head in his chest, inhaling his comforting scent.

"Bella, I want you to _promise_ me, that when I tell you this, you won't go looking for him." Edward said, his voice grave. The Cullens had gathered around now – I thought at first it was for moral support, but later found out it was so I couldn't run away.

"I promise." I smiled, completely trusting.

Edward took an unnecessary deep breath. "Jacob is back."

My eyes widened. "What?!"

"That's why I can't see anything, Bella. We've been wondering about it for a while, when I looked for you I couldn't see anything. We thought I'd lost my visions." I nodded.

"Can I see him?" Edward smacked his head with his hand, and Emmett started laughing.

"No, you can't Bella." Jasper said, his expression pitying.

"Why!?"

Edward looked exasperated, and sounded it too. "You just promised you wouldn't go looking for him."

"Oh." I said, trying not to cry. I couldn't even see my best friend. I was being changed, soon, too. I felt a pair of arms around me, and was shocked to find it was Jasper.

"Maybe it's better that he's got good memories of you."

"What do you mean?" I asked, tears streaking down my face.

"Well, if he sees you now, then he'll be bitter because he knows you're going to be changed. Maybe it's better that he remembers you from your care free human days." I nodded.

"Thanks, Jasper."

"S'okay sis." I smiled, and he let me go. Edward bundled me up in his arms.

"Um, that might not be an option, Jazz." Alice spoke, and I turned around in his arms to see the family. Rose was smirking at me, and I shook my head infinitesimally at her. Her expression went flat instantly.

"What do you mean, Alice?" Carlisle asked, bringing me back to the situation at hand.

"I can't see the wedding." My eyes popped out of their sockets.

"WHAT?!"

"Jacob's going to be at the wedding."


	28. Tomorrow

**Disclaimer: Me No Own.**

**A.N. In case you hadn't noticed, I'm coming to the end of the story. There's only one more chapter left, and then an epilogue. I won't put any notes on the epilogue, I don't want to ruin the effect (yes, I have written the epilogue) of it. If you guys want, I will write a sequel, but if I do write it, then I think I might wait until May to start it, so that I can take a break. I'll update regularly on it, though. Oh, and I know you guys are wondering why on earth I had to put that "brother/sister" quip in – it's because I'm genuinely evil, hah! Here's chapter 28. Thanks for always being so supportive guys. Ohh, and I'll post links for the outfit at the end of the chapter or on my profile :)**

"Hey, Bells." Charlie smiled as I walked through the door. His expression instantly changed as he saw who followed me through. "Oh, hello Edward."

"Hello Charlie." Edward was always polite.

"Bella, I've got some amazing news for you." Charlie turned his attention to me, beaming.

"What, Dad?" I asked, excited. He smiled.

"I spoke to Billy today." Oh, this was about Jake. "And Jacob is back!" I smiled falsely, trying not to let the emotions I'd felt while at the Cullens' show through.

"Really?!" He nodded.

"And Billy said that he's accepting your invitation." I turned to Edward.

"What invitation?" Edward's face was tensed as Charlie answered.

"The wedding invitation you sent him." I remembered specifically asking that we didn't invite Jacob. I was sure we hadn't sent him one. I wanted to say that, but I didn't. Edward would have to explain _that_ later.

"Oh, great." I smiled.

Charlie reached forward and put his arm around me. "You know, Bell, I can't believe that only a few years ago you came here, hating the place, and now you're leaving, getting married." I smiled. "You're not going to be my little girl anymore. I'm not going to be the most important man in your life." He began to tear up and that set me off.

"I'll always love you, Dad!" I hugged him, and then we both let go, looking away from each other. We never had been too good with expressing our feelings. "We were just coming briefly to pack my things." I took a deep breath, hoping I wouldn't cry. "Then I'm going out with Alice and Rose..." Charlie nodded while Edward finished off.

"And I'm going out with Jasper and Emmett." Charlie smiled.

"You better go and pack your stuff, then." His voice was gruff, awkwardness apparent. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me up the stairs, as I tried to concentrate on not tripping.

"Are you okay, love?" He whispered, winding his arms around my waist as I opened the door to my wardrobe.

"Mmhm." I nodded, not trusting my voice. Edward helped me pull the clothes out, and he lugged them all down the stairs to put them in the Volvo. When my room was bare, only a shell, I really realized what I was leaving behind.

"Oh." I whispered, before the tears brimmed over. Edward didn't say anything, he just held me. "I think I'm okay, now. Let's go." He nodded.

"Are you sure? We don't have to go over right now, Alice can wait." I shook my head.

"I know, but I think I need to leave, now. I need to say goodbye to this house." He understood. I wouldn't be coming back here, again. Not in my _life_time. I might, in a few decades. By then, Charlie would be long gone. It hurt to think it.

We walked down the stairs, and I hugged Charlie, telling him I would see him there. We stood outside the house, and Edward wrapped his arms around me.

"We'll come back, someday." I nodded.

"I know."

"You're going to be my wife, this time tomorrow, you know that?" He laughed, and pulled me over to the overloaded Volvo.

"I know. I can't believe it. We're getting _married_." I smiled as I got into the car, looking back at the house.

"And you're having a hen party tonight." He laughed, and I looked over at him, unbelievably carefree. I remembered back to when I first met him, so unpredictable, always wanting to know what I was thinking. I laughed, remembering that Edward. He'd changed so much.

He turned to me upon hearing me laugh. "What are you thinking?" He frowned. I laughed some more, just because of the sheer irony of the situation. I told him and he laughed too, and we chattered easily to each other. Being with Edward was so familiar.

When we pulled up in front of the Cullen home, I turned to Edward.

"You know back at my house, when you said that we didn't have to go right then..."

He laughed. "I lied, Alice would have probably impaled me if I'd kept you there a second longer! They're planning a monumental session of Bella Barbie." I groaned.

"I knew it! When do they start?" The car door swung open, and I was up in Alice's room before I had a chance to blink.

"We start now." I sighed. "Rose and I are going all out tonight! It's your last night of being single!"

I smiled, humoring her. "Okay, get started, then."

I regretted it, instantly. I was thrown into the shower with hair products, and only allowed 10 minutes in there. When I came out, Rose and Alice began combing through my hair with serum, volumizer, mousse, and any other product they could get their hands on. Then they started blow drying my hair, fussing and pinning the layers up. They straightened my hair for me, announcing that I was having it curly for the wedding, so I couldn't have it curly tonight, and put the top layer up, securing it with grips.

"Are you done, now?" I asked for the umpteenth time as they tried _another_ round of makeup on me.

"No, shh, we're painting a Da Vinci, here. Stop hassling us!" Rosalie laughed while Alice instructed me to 'look up', because they were trying something new.

When my makeup was finally done – smoky eyes, pale lips – the girls dragged me out of the bathroom into Alice's bedroom. It didn't help that Jasper was in there either, especially because I was only in my underwear.

"Jazzy, I didn't know you were here!" Alice cried, running over to him and hugging him. I coughed, trying to get Alice's attention so that I could get back into the safety of the bathroom, but Rosalie was blocking my way, unmoving.

Jasper laughed. "I'm not looking, Bella, don't worry." He winked at me over Alice's shoulder, and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. I turned and tried again to get past Rosalie. She just stood there and smirked at me, pleased at what she'd witnessed.

"Alice?" I tried, and she immediately jumped back out of Jasper's arms.

"Yes, coming, I've got the dresses here." Jasper had his eyes firmly closed. I hoped he wasn't thinking anything bad. "Jazzy," Alice turned to him, "when Edward gets back, tell him that his and Emmett's clothes are up in his room." Edward wasn't here?

"Where's Edward?" I asked, as Alice thrust another dress at me.

"He and Emmett have gone hunting again." Jasper said, from behind his hands.

"Oh, okay. Alice can we get ready, now?" She nodded, walking into the bathroom with Rose. I hurried after them, stumbling.

After we'd tried on at least a few thousand dresses, the girls settled with putting me in black patent heels – much to my discomfort – and a form fitting black dress. Once I was done, I was sent to sit with Jasper. We talked for a few minutes, before Alice and Rose stepped out of the bathroom, dressed and done up.

Alice was wearing a stripy strapless dress, that made her look a little like Tinker bell. Her dark hair was pinned back, and she looked effortlessly elegant. She bounced over to Jasper and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Rose was wearing a dark blue sating wrap dress, with dark blue heels to match. I decided that that was my favorite color for her – she was so pale that the color contrasted perfectly with her skin. I felt incredibly envious. I couldn't look even half as good as either of them even with all of this prepping from those same goddesses.

"Bella!" Jasper said, surprising us all. I turned to him slowly. "You look amazing, stop worrying." I blushed violently. He continued while Rosalie smirked and Alice wrapped her arms around me. "Look, it's your hen night, you're getting married tomorrow – stop thinking you're not worth it, because you really are." I smiled as another blush blended into the next.

Alice spoke then, releasing me from her dainty grasp. "Edward's back now, so go down and see him before we go out." I nodded and hopped down the stairs, to be greeted by Edward looking completely gorgeous. Like a proper god.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Bella." I smiled.

"I could say the same for you."

"You need to be more careful, Bella." He whispered in my ear, pulling the tendrils back. "If you carry on turning up looking so ravishing, then I may not be able to wait until after the wedding," he pressed his cold lips to my throat, "to bite you."

I shivered at his breath against my throat. A thrill of excitement ran up my spine. He laughed. "But, I won't." He kissed my lips and then Alice grabbed my hand, trying to pull me the door. "Enjoy tonight, my darling. We won't be out long, we'll probably be back before you." I nodded, and he let go of my waist, letting Alice drag me to the door, calling after her;

"We'll see you later, boys! We've got one last night of freedom for Bella until she's tied to Eddie forever!" She began laughing and Rose joined in, grabbing my other hand as we got into the M3.

* * *

We ended up at a bar in Port Angeles, where they plied me with drinks. They knew that I could get drunk, even though they couldn't. I couldn't refuse them, either. Stupid fake Ids. At least I was still in my right mind. The music was incredibly loud, and I was getting a little fed up. There were men turning up non stop, asking us if they could buy us a drink, if they could have our numbers, if we'd like to dance...

"Bella, you know, I feel like you're missing out on something!" Rose laughed. I frowned.

"Like what?!"

"I know what she means," Alice said. "Isn't your hen night meant to be about having that whole last fling?" I laughed. As if I was missing out on_ anything._ Alice had gotten us all big pins to wear, mine being 'BRIDE 2 BE!', Rosalie's being 'BRIDESMAID!' and Alice's being 'MAID OF HONOR!' I really didn't think I was missing out on anything. It was my hen night, I was drinking, and I was with my best friends. I was having fun. But that didn't seem to be enough for Alice.

"We need to find you someone!" She cried.

"Alice, you can't be serious. You want me to have a fling with some stupid human just so I can have the experience?! I'm getting married to your brother tomorrow!" She laughed.

"True. But you should at _least_ kiss someone, make it your last night of freedom!"

"No, Alice." I laughed, not taking her seriously.

"You know, I'd give you Jasper if I thought you'd take him!" She laughed, but Rosalie and I stayed quiet. Rosalie smirked a little at me while Alice wasn't paying attention. I realized then that she was having a vision. When she came out of it, she laughed. "Bella, I wasn't serious!"

"What?" I asked, completely confused.

"I just had a vision of you and Jasper kissing!" She burst out laughing, with Rose and I joining in this time. I gulped my drink down quickly, looking for an excuse to leave.

"Need another one!" Rosalie got up with me and we went to the bar, getting me another Malibu and Coke. I drunk that quickly once we got back to the table.

"I'm tired, guys. Can we go back, now?" Alice frowned.

"It's only 11 o clock, though!" My eyes bulged.

"ELEVEN? I've gotta be up by 6 tomorrow morning! That's it, we're going home!" I walked out of the bar, staggering a little. Alice pranced out behind me, followed by Rose. They both got a load of wolf whistles as we walked out of the door. Rose turned around and flipped them off quickly before we got into the car, and drove back to the Cullen house.

* * *

The drive home was uneventful, we played some music and chattered, and I didn't even notice the speed we were traveling at until we got home. Edward and the boys weren't back, yet. Carlisle and Esme were still there, though. Carlisle gave me some painkillers and told me to get some sleep.

I walked up the stairs wearily. Edward should be back, by now. He wasn't, though, when I got back to his room. I sighed and pulled the dress over my head, before getting my pajamas on. I slipped into Edward's bed, cool from lack of body heat. It would get even colder when Edward got back. I lay on the bed, staring out of the window. The night was dark, and I was unaware of how long I'd been staring out into the terrorizing blackness. I wanted Edward.

I rolled over to my other side, facing the empty bed. I looked at the electric clock that was sitting on the bedside table. The red lights flashed, telling me that it was 3:32 in the morning. And Edward wasn't back, yet. I was meant to be 'waking up' in around 2 hours.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, and began walking down the stairs. Rose and Alice were painting eachother's nails on the couch. They turned around upon hearing me at the bottom of the stairs, smiling.

"What are you doing up, Bella?" Alice asked.

"When are Edward and the boys coming back?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"They're not coming back!" Alice laughed.

My eyes widened in shock, as my heartbeat spluttered and picked up again double time. "What?"

"You can't see him until tomorrow, silly!" She looked at her watch. "Or, today." I raised an eyebrow.

"He said he'd be back!"

"Yeah...we didn't tell him. We knew he'd kick up a fuss. We thought you'd be sleeping, by now." I nodded, and got back up to bed, purposely taking a few more of the painkillers Carlisle had given me until I was out cold, so I could make up for lost sleep somewhat.

I thought of one thing as I waited for them to kick in, the realization only just sinking in properly. _I was getting married today. _

**The girls' outfits - on my profile (you'll get a sneak peek at the bridesmaids' dresses and Bella's wedding dress!)  
**


	29. Wedding

**Disclaimer – I own nothing, in this chapter or in the next. **

**A.N. - I started writing this on 13/4; the night when I finally updated chapter 22, and FF went haywire and wouldn't let anyone see it! Epilogue will be up, tomorrow, because I've already written it. There won't be any notes on there, because I want to put it up raw. Thanks for supporting me all the way, guys, you have no idea how much it means.  
**

I was woken up violently in the morning by Alice dragging me out of the bed while I was still unconscious. I groaned, noting that it was still dark. I was bundled into Rose's M3, with the beautifying kit safely in the back with Alice. I fell asleep not long after we'd started driving, so I didn't notice our speed.

We arrived at the hotel by 7:45, thanks to Rose's extra fast driving. Even though I wasn't properly awake, the gorgeous interior of the place really made an impression on me. When we got to the suite I ran into the room as soon as Alice had opened it, and collapsed onto the bed, not even pausing to take in the stunning interior.

The next thing I knew, I was being undressed and thrown into the shower. I screamed as Alice turned the water on, even though it was at the right temperature. I lay at the bottom of the shower, drifting in and out of sleep. Eventually Alice got so annoyed that she did my hair herself, before Rose joined her to start blow drying my hair.

Sarcastically, they said I could sleep while they did my hair. Little did they know I'd take them up on that offer. It was nine by the time they finally woke me up again, and my hair was done, along with my nails and toes. I thought that they had already been done, but Alice had decided the edges were a little chipped, and of course, that wasn't good enough for Alice.

"Bella, we really do need to do your makeup, now." Rose said, tapping my shoulder. I nodded, closing my eyes again.

"Bella, what's gotten into you? You're completely drowsy, it's like you're not really here." Alice asked, a little alarmed. "Have you taken something?" I nodded.

"I took some extra painkillers last night so that I could sleep without Edward." Alice hit her head, and shook me.

"Oh, gosh! Bella, I need you to stay awake. How many did you take?"

"Double the dose. It's not a lot, I just want to sleep now, thank you, Alice." I was too tired to be angry.

"Well, you need to wake up, now. It's nine, and the wedding is at one. I'll get you some coffee."

I drank my coffee and felt a little better afterwards. Rose made another cup before bringing it back for me to drink. Then, I sat until they finished my makeup. It was very simple, and I had to admit I liked it.

"When do we put on the dress?" I asked, hopping up and down. I'd had more coffee.

"Not now, Bella. We need to get you all strapped in, first." I frowned.

"Strapped in?"

It really was like being strapped in to a roller coaster. Rosalie noting this made me nervous. Was I really setting in for a roller coaster? They put the corset on me first, practically cutting off all of the air that was in my lungs. I was all strapped up in stockings, even though you wouldn't be able to see my legs. Alice insisted it was for when we danced as 'man and wife' for the first time, just in case my dress 'came up a little'. I mentally rolled my eyes; I had no idea what she was planning.

It was hard to believe that I was getting married. I should be happy, but my legs were shaking like jelly and my heart was beating nineteen to the dozen. I was nervous.

Jacob would be there, too. I hoped he wouldn't do anything rash. I wondered what he was like, now. Had he changed? He'd been gone for a month, yes, but it was still a long time. Enough time to change a person completely; or to not change them at all. Had he imprinted? Did he still love me? Did he hate me? I was reminded suddenly of his lips against mine, the heat surrounding us, my eyelids red.

He couldn't get over that. I knew I wouldn't, even though I would always have Edward, my everything. Jake would know this, he'd want me to be happy, I was sure. But the pessimistic voice in my head carried on taunting me with the same question; would Jake stop the wedding?

Elizabeth turned up at 11:30 with our dresses, and after slipping into mine, I noted that Jessica and Angela had turned up too, and were being zipped into their dresses. I stood up and smiled at them.

"Hi, guys!"

Jessica galloped over to me, hugging me tightly. "Bella! I can't believe you're getting married! AND TO EDWARD CULLEN! Do you remember me telling you not to bother, do you?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I remember."

"And I said, none of the girls here are good enough for him – but you were, and you are and you're going to be his wife and you're going to have the prettiest little babies with gorgeous red hair..." She trailed off, squealing about a girl and a boy and a dog and a cat. I realized, again, what I was giving up. I would never have children. Or a dog, or a cat. I'd never wanted them before, but now I did. Always wanting what I couldn't have.

Angela snapped me out of the nightmare, touching my shoulder gently.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella. I can't imagine two people more destined for each other than you and Edward." I smiled, holding back tears.

"Thankyou. I love you so much, Ang, Jess." I threw myself at them and they latched onto me, hugging me tightly.

"DON'T RUIN YOUR MAKEUP!" Alice screeched, coming back into the room with Rose and Elizabeth.

I laughed, blinking quickly. "No, Alice, I won't."

"Good. We need to get downstairs, now. I think," she paused, concentrating. "I think that Emmett has got Edward downstairs in a back room. He won't see you." I nodded and smiled, linking arms with her as we all got to the elevator. Jess and Angela insisted on holding my dress, in case it happened to come within 5 centimeters of the floor. I rolled my eyes, thinking it was unnecessary.

It was quarter to one, and I was getting _married_ in fifteen minutes. I wasn't ready. Even Angela's encouraging words weren't placating me. I was all shook up. Could I do this? Could I?

The girls were about to walk in, as the guests were already in their seats. Edward and Emmett were already in there. Jasper nodded to me, giving me a sympathetic smile. I nodded back, giving my own tense smile. Alice and Rose hugged me quickly before taking their place on either side of Jasper, and walking through the doors. Angela and Jessica were next, hugging me and telling me how happy they were for me, before linking arms and going through the doors themselves.

My heartbeat was wild, and I wished I had more air in the stupid corset. There were so many people. What if Mike objected?! What if I said the wrong name?! What if I fell over?! What if I fainted?!

My what ifs were cut off by Charlie walking up behind me, telling me it was time to go. I took a deep breath, then Charlie took me by the arm silently, tears in his eyes. "Are you ready, Bells?" I nodded, smiling hugely. But I wasn't ready. I wasn't even sure if I could do this. "My little girl. Getting married." I took a deep breath, and Charlie scrunched up his eyes, fighting away tears. "Come on, then Bells." I smiled at him.

"Are you sure you're ready?

He laughed," I don't know if I could ever give you away Bells, but I think I'm going to give you to him. I know he's what you want, what you need. I truly think you two will be happy together. I love you, Bella and I want to see you happy." I smiled at him, unable to find words as I fought back against the moisture in my eyes. I stared at the ceiling. "But if he ever hurts you, I will hunt him down!" The threat was real, and I laughed, my father's arm tightening around mine.

The doors opened, revealing everyone behind it, seated and turning to look at me. It was deathly quiet, and I looked at Edward. I knew, looking at him in all of his glory, an angel's smile on his face, that I could do it. I took a deep breath and then, walked forward to meet my destiny.

-


	30. Epilogue

_Epilogue_

_Jasper Hale_

I stood at the end of the aisle, waiting. Edward was tense next to me, so I tried sending him some calming waves. He growled at me and shook them off. I assumed he just wanted to spend this day with his own feelings, not ones put on by myself.

I was surprised, shocked in fact, that Edward had still wanted me to be his best man, even though he knew I loved Bella. I'd heard him telling Bella, and she denied it. But him and I both knew it was true.

I supposed he asked me, because there was no-one else, really. Esme and Carlisle didn't want to be involved in the wedding, because they wanted to enjoy the ceremony, the first union of their first son and their latest daughter. And Emmett was performing the service. I was the only one left, really. I supposed he was just trying to 'cure me of my obsession' or something along those lines.

But it wasn't an obsession. I loved them both – Alice and Bella. Bella belonged to me, in a way, now. It didn't really count to her, I didn't think. Well, that was untrue, because I'd felt the love emanating from her... But now I had to endure her marrying my brother. I also had to concentrate on not breathing, too – not because of Bella, because I'd grown immune to her scent, practically, but because of Jacob and the rest of the pack. Alice had gone practically haywire once she'd learnt of their appearance at the wedding. She couldn't see any of the wedding, anymore.

But this gave me an amazing opportunity. I'd pondered it briefly, when I was away from Edward. Alice couldn't see anything of the wedding, obviously. So she couldn't see my plans. They weren't really plans, though. More the stuff of dreams. Something that could happen if I wanted it to, but I wouldn't ever do. I couldn't do that to them all. I hoped Jacob Black wouldn't ruin it either. The emotions that he gave out were flitting away as fast as they had come.

Edward fidgeted constantly, but I knew it wasn't his nerves. He was worried about Bella. Jacob being here...it couldn't be good for her. I thought briefly, as he looked at me, that me being here, at Edward's side the whole time couldn't be good for her either. Walking down the aisle with Alice had been excruciating. It was like a replay of our wedding, though Rose was at my other side. But Alice hadn't been falling apart then. Edward must have told her something, because I could feel her pain, however much she tried to hide it. When we reached the end of the aisle, I kissed her briefly. This seemed to mollify her, and she smiled at me. I smiled back, but it wasn't as full of love as hers had been.

The entire room was suddenly quiet. I couldn't even hear the CD playing – though I knew from countless wedding talks with Alice that it was a slower version of Bella's lullaby. I felt an immense amount of love coming from Edward, and I realized that Bella was walking down the aisle. I turned around, and my eyes met with a vision of beauty. She was wearing a gorgeous cream dress, skimming the floor. It wasn't the one that Alice had picked out for her beforehand, but I thought this looked better. Strapless and tucked in at all the right places. It wasn't very fussy. It was simple, beautiful. It was Bella.

Her hair hung in loose curls around her shoulders, curving around her face. I was sure all the vampires in the room were thankful that she hadn't put her hair up, because her scent was doubled by the decorative bunch of freesias in her hands. Charlie's arm curved around hers, and I felt his waves of pride engulfing me. It took all I had to keep my own emotions in check, let alone his.

Bella walked down the aisle perfectly, gliding across the floor. She was surprisingly graceful today, a vision of beauty. Everything was flawless about her, even though her fingers fidgeted around the bouquet she was holding. I fought back the urge to think about her manicured fingernails, the same ones that had dug into my skin in pleasure, but not making an indent, while we had been...No. I had promised myself, and her, that I wouldn't think about her like that anymore. That night had been a farewell, we had both agreed. She was my sister, my sister. But I couldn't change how I felt about her.

Bella reached the end of the aisle, and Edward smiled at her, taking her hand. I couldn't do this, could I? It would hurt Bella and Edward too much. It would hurt Alice too much.

Emmett greeted everyone, and I waited for him to ask. I prayed I could keep my mouth shut, that I could forget my feelings for her. I hoped Jacob Black could do the same. In fact, I hoped every male from Forks that was in love with Bella could do the same.

But Emmett forgot. It was a narrow escape, for me. He continued, and began with the vows. Rosalie and Alice, standing on Bella's side, looked blissfully happy. I tried to hide the frown on my face.

"Let us begin with the vows, Edward first, if you will?" Emmett was making an effort to be very professional. He'd laugh about it later, but I was sure Alice, Rosalie, Esme and Edward had already warned him that he couldn't ruin this.

"Edward Cullen, do you take Isabella Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor and keep her, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? Forsaking all others, as long as you both shall...exist?" Emmett stumbled over his words – after all, Bella wouldn't live for long; Edward would be changing her in a few days, and Edward was already dead.

"I do." Edward smiled, and squeezed Bella's hand. His happiness flew through me, and I couldn't control the extent of it, letting it pour out into the room. I got myself in check, quickly, though. Emmett was smiling like a mad man at Edward, who was trying desperately not to laugh at him – his thoughts, even.

"Thanks, Eddie." Rose and Alice laughed, along with Bella and those in the room that knew how much he hated his nickname. "Right then, Bella, it's your turn." After earning an angry look from Alice, his whole professional facade gone, he hissed, "What! I think I've ruined it enough already! Anyway, Isabella Swan, do you take Edward Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, comfort, honor, and keep him, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health? Forsaking_ all_ others, as long as you both shall exist?"

"I do." Bella's voice rang out confidently, and I was surprised. I wasn't sending her any emotions. I was letting her and Edward be. I got ready to fish the rings out of my breast pocket, when Emmett suddenly hit me with a wave of realization.

"Aw, damn it, sorry everyone, I forgot to ask, does anyone object to the union of these two people?" There was silence for a minute, the tension so tangible, you could cut it with a knife. And then I heard my own voice, a whisper. Every vampire in the room turned to look at me in horror, though the humans hadn't heard me. I felt all their crippling emotions, and I realized what I'd done. There was no going back now. I took a deep breath, and said it louder.

"_I object._"

**(sequel now up)**


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